Chapter 4.. Guilt

Nadia returned to her apartment after spending two hours at the gym. She opened the door to find her husband Manaf sitting on the sofa with his ipad on his lap. His weekly working trip starts on Sunday morning and he’s usually back by Wednesday evening. “You’re early today”, she said. “Yup. My evening flight was canceled so I took an earlier one” he said with his eyes fixed on the ipad.

Nadia walked to the sofa and sat beside him: “It’s a good thing that they informed you”. “Mhhmm” he nodded, still with all his attention on the ipad. “Wanna go out for dinner tonight?” she asked, trying to pull his concentration to her. “Sure” he said casually. “What would you like to eat?” she asked. “Anything” he said. “Shall we go to Meat Co?” she asked. “Let’s keep it casual. City Center will do. And call your friends if you like” he said and finally raised his head and looked her in the eyes.

Manaf’s last sentence gave Nadia a great deal of disappointment. She was looking forward to spending some time with him since she only gets to see him three days a week. But it didn’t seem like he felt the same. His coldness increased by the day and for a while, he didn’t show any sign of missing her or even loving her. She didn’t react to that though, she pretended that everything was normal. And today, she calmly reached for her mobile and messaged the girls: “Manaf is inviting you for dinner tonight. See you in Kosebasi at 8”.

**

Tamara entered Yara’s room holding a Krispy Kreme box, she found Yara laying on her bed watching Grey’s Anatomy. “Want some?” said Tamara and raised the box. “Please, that’s a perfect mood lifter” said Yara without moving. Tamara walked to the bed and opened the box, it was a mix of Original Glazed and Chocolate Iced Glazed doughnuts. Yara picked an Original Glazed without hesitation. “You seriously watch this?” asked Tamara as she turned her head to TV. “I’m 28 what do you expect me to watch? Hannah Montana?” said Yara sarcastically. “No. Glee” said Tamara and let her tongue out. “Get lost” said Yara as Tamara made her way out.

Yara’s thoughts suddenly got distracted. She felt responsible for that young girl who is still too young to realize what they’re going through. That young girl, who finds her joy in watching Glee and in a box full of doughnuts. Yara wished for two things at that moment, for her to be at Tamara’s age, and for her father to be alive. How things would have been different if he was still alive. She’d travel around the world just like she always did, buy designer bags and stay in five stars hotels. She missed feeling safe and secure, she missed all the love and support that he used to provide her with. It’s been months since he left, but she still can’t get over the fact that he’s gone and how his death changed her life tremendously.

She then remembered the last time she saw Fahad, how harshly she treated him and how that made her live with guilt the past few days. She didn’t know if she was right or wrong, or if he was right or wrong. She just knew that the way she handled it was wrong, and that she let out everything that she was going through on him.

Meredith Grey ended the episode with her life/medical quotes, but Yara’s mind was far from it.  The only thing that brought her back to her senses was the clock that pointed at 7 o’clock. Time to get ready for dinner.

**

“It’s only Wednesday and the place is packed!” said Nadia as they were having dinner. “At least it’s a nice crowd” said Manaf. “Yeah. Thursdays and Fridays are just horrible here.” Said Yara. “By the way Manaf, we’ll spend the weekend in Durrat AlBahrain” said Nadia. “OK” nodded Manaf approvingly.

Nadia was wishing that he’d object, that he’d ask her to spend the weekend with him instead of going. He didn’t blink an eye!

Manaf raised his hand and waived at someone who passed by. The three ladies turned their heads around curiously, it was Osama! Dalal’s eyes popped out of its place: “He knows him too!” she whispered to Yara who was sitting next to her. “Shut up. He’s coming” said Yara and looked around to check if Fahad was with him, but he wasn’t. Osama walked to their table and Manaf stood up to shake his hand. The ladies exchanged confused looks. “This is Nadia my wife” said Manaf introducing them. “And those are Yara and Dalal, her friends” said Manaf. “You girls look familiar” said Osama. “Accounting class” said Dalal excitingly and Yara hit her leg immediately to shut her up. “Oh that’s right” said Osama. “Mhhmm” said Yara in embarrassment. “So what do you do now?” he asked the ladies. “I work in BBK” Dalal jumped in. Osama didn’t comment and turned his head to Yara: “I own a business”. “That’s great. What kind of business” asked Osama and sounded interested. “Art. I sell photos and paintings” she said shyly. “Awesome. What about you Nadia?” he asked. “She’s a housewife” answered Manaf. “I used to work in a law company but I quit when I got married.” She explained, trying to give a more sufficient answer than Manaf’s. “Oh, you studied law?” asked Osama. “Yeah, accounting class did me no good so I transferred” she said jokingly. Osama laughed: “It’s good to see you girls.”. “Who are you with?” asked Manaf. “With the guys. Come and say hello” said Osama. “I would love to” said Manaf and followed Osama.

“Can you believe what just happened?” asked Dalal in over excitement. Nadia started giving Dalal a long lecture about how she should act more mature with men: “You have to be calm and poised. Don’t be such a blah”. “What did I say? He asked and I answered!” she explained.  “She will never get it. Leave her!” said Yara with a distracted mind. Her gaze was following Manaf and Osama. She was hoping that Fahad was not there, and that he doesn’t turn out to know Manaf as well.

“But what are the odds? We don’t see the guy for years and then he turns out to be a friend of the hunk and Manaf!” said Dalal, still not getting over it. “Hey, what are you thinking of?” said Nadia as she noticed Yara absent minded. “You think that I was wrong to Fahad?” asked Yara with a guilty tone. “Yes, you had a point though. But he seems to be a gentleman and I’m sure that he didn’t mean to offend you” said Nadia. “I really don’t understand how you had the ability to insult that hunk!” said Dalal. “I was angry and I shouldn’t have judged him” said Yara. She turned her head around looking at the guys with Manaf and Osama, but the person that she was looking for wasn’t there.


The ladies were passing by Marble Slab for dessert when Dalal’s phone rang: “Hey mama…I’m fine…dinner was delicious…their doner is really good….”.

“They have the cheesiest mother-daughter relationship I’ve ever seen” said Yara as Dalal kept on giving her mother details about their evening. “Girls, my mother is inviting you over to watch a movie now” said Dalal in excitement. “I can’t, Manaf just got back today.” Said Nadia. “I can!!” said Yara. “Great…Mama, Yara is coming..”said Dalal to her mum on the phone. “I need to spend some time with that hyper family, I need it for some reason” said Yara in a low voice to Nadia. Nadia smiled: “I understand”.



“Yaraaaaa, finally, how are you? How is your mother? Why don’t you ever come visit?” said Dalal’s mother as she grabbed Yara and showered her with kisses. Whenever Yara tried answering, she would get showered with more questions “I always ask Dalal about you. Why don’t you come have lunch with us? This is your house my dear you shouldn’t be shy. And get your mother too I’d love to see her, you know I love being around people always…….” Dalal's mother went on and on and on. Yara reached a point where all she was hearing was blah blah blah!

“So which movie are we going to watch?” asked Dalal. “I got The Hangover and an Egyptian one with Hineedi acting. Which one do you like Yara?” asked the mother. “Let’s watch the Egyptian one” said Yara, in desperate need for this family’s crazy comments. “AHMEDDDDDDDDDDD, WE ARE GOING TO WATCH A MOVIE! COME HERE RIGHT NOW!” screamed the mother. “Oh Yara’s here!” said Dalal’s brother as he walked out of his room. “Hey Ahmedo, sup?” said Yara. “Still single” said Ahmed jokingly. “Only because you’re blind my son. Look how gorgeous this girl is. You better marry her before someone else steals her just like they did with Nadia.” Said the mother. Ahmed blushed and got embarrassed by hearing Nadia's name. He was one of the many guys who had a crush on her before she got married. “Come on auntie, he’s like a brother to us. We grew up together” said Yara. “Don’t start this brother issue. There is no such thing. Yalla play the movie, i want to laugh. And you two will realize someday that you’re wrong. What a generation!”  Complained Dalal's mother and took a pile of seeds from a bowl that was placed on the table.

Yara’s eyes were tearing because of all the hilarious commentaries around her. Of course, Dalal's mother was THE master. All kind of junk were being passed around, cheese curls, popcorn, seeds, soft drinks, tea...etc.  For a couple of hours this family managed to get Yara's attention away from all her problems. She blocked all the worries and concerns and enjoyed the moment. 

**

The next morning, Yara was reversing the car out of her garage when she noticed Tamara by the house door waving for her and asking her to come back. She parked the car outside and came in: “What do you want?”. “You’ve got to see this!” said Tamara pointing her head inside. Yara stepped inside and took a step back in shock: “Mama!! What happened to you!”

Her mother was standing inside in her full glory and elegance. She was wearing a satin navy blue dress with a black belt around her waist, her black hair was blow dried, her face was finally looking alive with a pink blusher on her cheeks, eye liner and mascara. Her black high heals added few centimeters to her tall posture and her black Gucci bag enhanced her confidence.

“I thought that you’d be happy to see me like that!” said the mother to both girls. They looked at each other and burst out laughing. “Seriously, what are you up to?” Asked Yara. “Well, I decided that it’s time for me to move on” said their mother. “By doing what exactly?” asked Yara in confusion. “By living! As simple as that!” said the mother. “Oops” said Tamara. “It’s time to fix my relations with all people around me. Or maybe find new people and new relations. You see, if I had any good friends or if I was in good terms with my family we could’ve got help when we needed it!” said the mother. “Now we’re talking” said Yara. “Please tell me that you didn’t expect me to say that I’m getting a job!” said the mother. “Coming from you, it won’t make sense!” said Yara. “Good. And now excuse me, I have a lot of work to do” said the mother and made her way out with the sound of her heals echoing all around the house. Yara turned her head to Tamara: “and the old Sajida is back” she said rigidly.



Yara was re-arranging the decoration of the studio when she suddenly saw Fahad walking by the road to his café through the door. She rushed outside,“FAHAD”, she called after him. Fahad turned around to see her and stood where he was. “Can you come in please? I need to talk to you” said Yara. He obeyed and walked to the studio without saying a word.

“I owe you an apology”, said Yara nervously. “I wish that I could take it back. I was angry and I didn’t know what I was saying”.
“I just wish that you gave me a chance to explain. It was a misunderstanding. I tried calling you to tell you about it before you found out” said Fahad
“I know, I realized that later on” she said guiltily.
“Anyhow, you have to be sure that I wasn’t prying and that I wasn’t trying to insult you or anything of that sort” explained Fahad “and poor Santosh, I forced him to do it”
Yara smiled “You know..I was thinking.. a man who appreciates art can’t be insensitive. I should’ve given you the benefit of the doubt”.
Fahad laughed “I don’t blame you. I’m a stranger who paid your bill. It is freaky in a way”.
“I’m sorry. It’s just that a lot is going on and I let it out on you” said Yara and lowered her head.
“I’m sorry too. I should’ve talked to you before taking any action” said Fahad.
“I can forgive you under one condition” said Yara with a mocking smile.
“Women! And what’s that condition?” said Fahad teasingly.
“You don’t pay me for the photo I’m doing for you.” she said.
“Come on. It’s worth much more than the bill I paid” said Fahad.
“OK then I can’t forgive you!” said Yara acting upset.
“Alright fine. It’s a deal. Friends?” said Fahad as he offered his hand for her to shake.

She slowly moved her hand off her waist and placed it in his warm masculine hand: “Friends” she said…