Chapter 18, Patience

Osama was a practical man who spends his days at the office till a late hour of the day. In contrast to his best friend Fahad, he thinks twice about every step before he takes it. Starting a business of his own was a step made after realistic plans and deep studies of the market. And to give this business a fair share of attention and effort, he didn’t hesitate to make it his priority and spent a great deal of time at work. Even when it comes to love and social life, Osama was always practical and realistic.  He met Yara, he liked her, he talked to her friend, and then he talked to her right away for a clear final answer. And when he found out that it was an impossible case, he got over it immediately. This was his practical way of looking for stability and settlement. Some girls or even guys thought of that habit to be boring. He only liked Yara because she was right infront of him. Not because of any special characteristics, but only because he has seen in her a good example of a lifetime companion.

“I have two meetings with potential clients in Abu Dhabi next week. I hope it works out” said Osama while spending the evening with Fahad in Coco’s outdoor area. “Expanding your services out of the country ha!” said Fahad impressed. “Why not! It’s been a while since I started and the projects I have here are small. My networking can help me reach out for clients around the GCC and I want to use that” said Osama. “That’s great. It’s a good move” said Fahad. “Let’s hope it works. I’m putting a lot of effort in the presentations. I want to deliver a professional image to them” explained Osama. “Why don’t you get ISO certified? That will enhance the trust in your business” suggested Fahad. “I was thinking about it, but we’ll need to develop more procedures for that so I feel it’s too soon” said Osama & took a sip of the lemon juice that was placed infront of him in a long transparent glass. “Are you planning on going for your marriage proposal next week? Other than the women part?” asked Osama while placing his juice back on the table. “Don’t know yet. Once the women go they get to decide” he said. “I’ll be away for a couple of days only anyway” said Osama. “Can’t wait for tomorrow’s match.” Said Fahad as a guy who was wearing a Manchester United t-shirt passed by. “Yeah man you will be playing against Liverpool, get ready for a big loss” said Osama daringly. “You Liverpool fans are freaks! Too passionate” said Fahad laughing. “Manchester United is for girls” said Osama teasingly. “Girls? I am a Manchester United fan who is getting married for the second time while you never did!” said Fahad getting back at him. “I don’t have time. I’m a busy man. A career oriented man.” said Osama acting all-important. “Why don’t you marry Dalal? I’m sure she won’t mind” joked Fahad. “I say let’s leave before we start a fight” said Osama as he waved to the waitress to get the check.

Nadia got back to the hotel while her parents were resting in the sitting area of their suite with a basket of fruits infront of them. The volume of the TV was so high that she heard the Syrian accent of a dubbed Turkish Series before she opened the door. “Come here” said the father as soon as she stepped in and lowered the volume. “Ha? What did you decide?” he asked as she sat down. Nadia didn’t answer, she took off her coat and woolen hat quietly and slowly. “Te7achay!” said the mother impatiently. “Will you accept, if, we decided to go for it?” she asked with no expression on her face. “Ya binty! Don’t put yourself in such complicated situations” said the mother upset. “I went for the most normal scenario before and I ended up getting a divorce! I’m not going to stick to the rules anymore, I want to do what feels right and not what looks right!” said Nadia fed up. “Calm down both of you! Now is not the time to argue” said the father. “Why?” wondered Nadia. “Enough talk for today. We talked about it enough for now and we should give ourselves some time before we jump to the next stage. Let’s sleep on it and tomorrow we’ll discuss it with a clearer mind. I’m out of here!” he said and stood up. “Where are you going?” asked the mother. “Meeting a friend” he said as he wore his overcoat and left the room.

“Tell me” said Nadia as soon as her father left. “What do you want me to tell you?” asked the mother upset with her eyes fixed on TV. “Why are you upset?” asked Nadia calmly. “Because I don’t understand how you want to cause a family trouble! You think that the wife and son will survive this? Never!” she said in anger. “But why are you thinking of the wife and son and discarding him? He was clear about how he’ll take care of them!” said Nadia. “And you really think that it will work? How naïve are you? You will be an intruder and no one will accept you! Not even his family! Does his parents know about this? Are they ok with it?” she said in frustration. “Mama! Focus! We said that this is a first step only. And once you accept it we’ll move to the next stage” said Nadia annoyed. “And what if we don’t?” asked the mother daringly. “I’m almost 29 years old and I am divorced! I’m mature and with enough experience to know what I want to do!” she said confidently. “You can never get enough experience! No one knows better than your parents!” said the mother still upset. “And Baba didn’t object yet. If he was totally against the idea he could’ve said no from the very beginning! But he is being patient and not jumping to conclusions” said Nadia. “He is doing that because he doesn’t want to hurt you. He wants you to think and understand by yourself!” said the mother.

Nadia’s phone rang cutting of the conversation. “Hello?” answered Nadia and walked away from her mother. “Every time you travel a disaster happens to me!” said Yara blaming her. “What happened now?” she asked quietly. “I think that I’m being fooled and I’m rushing into this marriage!” said Yara disgusted. “Fooled?” asked Nadia confused. “He lied! AGAIN!” screamed Yara. “What did Alia tell you?” asked Nadia. “Remember how he told me that the reason they got divorced was because she didn’t want children? HE LIED” she screamed again. “What did she say?” asked Nadia again. “That…he is not able.. to be a father” said Yara in shock as if it was just hitting her. “What is this non sense!! I’m sure she is lying. Why are you believing her?” wondered Nadia. “No, no, I believe her. He lied before. And I sensed it this time. Every time I talked about her he got nervous” said Yara frustrated. “Still, you can’t believe her and dismiss Fahad completely. Hear him out” said Nadia. “I don’t know what to do. I am so angry and shocked that I am shaking now” she said nervously. “Calm down and think wisely. I know it’s not easy because if this is true…” she said and Yara interrupted her, “This lie is big, this is something that I won’t be able to forgive. What if it’s true and I only found out after marrying him? If he was honest with me then the hell with children, I’d marry him no matter what. But to hide something as big? This is huge!” she said getting more shocked with each word. “Do you want to confront him?” asked Nadia calmly. “No, I don’t want to be fooled again. At the same time, I really want to see his reaction and hear his excuse!” she said. “Don’t rush. It might not be true after all. I think that you should give yourself some time to calm down and then talk to him” suggested Nadia. “I don’t know what to think anymore. The proposal is in few days and…uufffff” said Yara and started crying. “I’m sorry I’m not there” said Nadia guiltily. “I need to be alone now. I’ll talk to you later” she said quietly. “Yara, I know you too well. You will get all angry now, scream and make the issue bigger than it really is. For once, don’t! Try to resolve and not ruin” said Nadia sweetly. “OK OK” said Yara. “I’m heading to the airport in few hours and should arrive in the early morning. Stay sane till then” said Nadia.

Yara was driving home when she was talking to Nadia. She suddenly changed her direction and drove to the studio in order to avoid seeing her mother. She wanted to deal with this on her own without the interference of anyone. So she drove quietly at a very slow speed till she reached the studio praying that Fahad won’t be around.

Santosh was there moving from one place to the other as usual. It was around 7pm, so she asked him to leave for the day and she took over. The studio was small in size but rich in content. It was a rectangular space, with a small see-through door as the entrance on one side. The armchairs were placed in the corner between two walls with framed paintings and themed photos. The walls were not painted, she meant to leave them as they were, bare with just the cement. It reflected an artistic natural look on the studio and it directed the attention of the viewer to the photos right away. The flooring was dark brown parquet that added a vintage touch to the whole place. Her desk was classic, wooden and tiny with a flat screen computer and different pieces of funky accessories.

She walked to the wall facing the door and stared at a framed postcard of the Drowning Girl painting that she got from Museum of Modern Art in New York. The painting was a comic drawing of a woman who was drowning in her own tears with a bubble saying: I don’t care. I’d rather sink than call Brad for help. She stared at the woman carefully, at her blue hair and her hand that was calling for help out of all the tears that surrounded her whole face. But yet, she resisted, and refused to call Brad for help. She was always curious to know the story behind that painting. Who’s Brad? And what did he do to her that hurt her that bad? She never figured it out. And today, out of all days, she felt the connection. She found herself somewhere in that painting. The possibility of Fahad lying again, a lie that wasn’t just a lie but a life changing matter, made her feel like she was sinking, just like the Drowning Girl. Something in that painting spoke to her and enlightened her. Calling Fahad to figure out the truth wasn’t the right thing to do. The Drowning Girl was smart enough not to call Brad, and so thought Yara. She decided to get help from another source, and so she reached for her phone and called Sara.

“I need you to tell me the whole story behind Fahad’s divorce” said Yara after picking Sara up and going for a drive. “Didn’t he tell you already?” wondered Sara. “He did. But so did she” said Yara quietly with a quick stare at Sara. “You talked to Alia?” asked Sara. “Yes. And Fahad doesn’t know” said Yara. “Can you park somewhere or can we go sit somewhere? It’s dangerous to drive and discuss a sensitive issue like that” requested Sara.

Yara was driving along Adhari highway. She turned right by the waterfall and then again right towards Veranda. She parked infront of the strip with all the shops, opened the widows and turned off the engine, “Tell me” she said turning to Sara. “First you have to tell me what you have heard from both sides” said Sara. “No. I want to know what you know first.” Said Yara. “But I don’t want you to get more confused. Tell me so I could put it in the right context while telling you” said Sara. “Won’t make a difference.” Insisted Yara. “As you wish. You know that they had issues conceiving right?” asked Sara. “I only found out today” said Yara. “Today?!” wondered Sara. “Yes. Alia told me assuming that I already knew” said Yara disappointed. Sara got suddenly nervous, “You need to tell me what Fahad told you about this” said Sara. “Nothing” admitted Yara. “Then how did he explain his divorce?” wondered Sara. “He said that she didn’t want any children. He lied, right?” asked Yara looking at Sara in the eyes. “What did Alia say exactly?” asked Sara. “She said, that.. he is not able to” said Yara in difficulty. Sara took a deep breath, “This is not exactly right” she said. “What do you mean?” asked Yara with a spark of hope in her eyes. “They both had problems. They went through many tests but it didn’t work out so we don’t really know who’s able and who’s not!” said Sara. “But…there must be clear results for those tests!” said Yara confused. “It was complicated, for both. I’m shocked that Alia didn’t admit that she had problems too!” said Sara. “Doesn’t matter. He lied again!” said Yara in disbelief. “I’m sure that he didn’t mean any harm” said Sara defending Fahad. “No. No. This is more than harm. This is more like dragging me into a life where he had no idea where it’s going himself!!” said Yara. “Don’t jump to conclusions. They both had problems so it’s normal that they weren’t able to conceive together. Doesn’t mean that they can’t at all even with other people!” explained Sara. “But I had every right to know!! How could he propose to someone without mentioning that? It is a big deal!! A very big deal!” said Yara sharply. “Yes, you’re right. But don’t let this anger and hurt control you now. Think of what made him hide this, he really loves you Yara..” said Sara. “Please don’t tell him anything about this. I will deal with it on my own” said Yara and started driving.

After dropping Sara back to the house and driving back home in silence, Yara was glad that she didn’t find Sajida spending her evening in her usual spot infront of TV. The last thing she needed right then was discuss anything related to the proposal with her mother. She entered her room, dropped her hand bag on the floor and sat on her bed holding her phone. One thought was occupying her mind and she was thinking about it all the way back home. And so she decided to go for it. She dialed Dalal’s number….

“Hello?” answered Dalal excitedly. “Hey Dalool. How are you?” asked Yara shyly. “I’m good how are you doing? Are you ok?” asked Dalal in her usual hyper mood. “I..no.. I am not” said Yara hesitant. “What’s the matter?” asked Dalal in a total shift of mood. “Is your dad in town?” asked Yara. “Yes, he is. Why?” wondered Dalal. “Is it possible to see him?” she asked quietly. “Oh my god why?” panicked Dalal. “No no it’s not me. I just need to discuss something with him and ask some questions” said Yara. “You realize that my father is a gynecologist right?” asked Dalal. “Yes, of course! How can I forget” said Yara. “OK you wanna come to our house tomorrow morning? He will be home” suggested Dalal. “Yes, the sooner the better. But I’ll need to speak to him privately” said Yara. “I will manage. Will you tell me what’s going?” asked Dalal curiously.

Yara explained to Dalal the whole situation and was instantly relieved to open up to someone who was a good listener. Dalal was into the conversation passionately commenting every now and then with shock and disbelief. They spoke as if nothing had ever come between them, as if they were that close to each other yesterday and the day before. All those months apart suddenly felt as if it didn’t exist. At first, Yara felt guilty for using Dalal when she needed her. Then and after feeling calm and relaxed, she realized that she was waiting for an excuse or a push to get in touch with her. And she was really glad that she did.

Just when she was about to go to bed, Fahad called. She stared at his name not knowing what to do. She didn’t want to talk to him but at the same time she didn’t want him to sense that something was wrong. Not before she does her own research and finds out the real deal. “Hello” she answered quietly. “Hey baby. Where have you been?” he asked excited. “I…was…with Tamara today” she lied. “Why? What did you do?” he asked. “She needed to buy a gift for her friend so we went shopping” she added. “That’s nice. I was with Osama and the guys all day, just got home.” He said. “Hmm” said Yara. “What’s wrong?” he asked sensing her quiet mood. “Nothing. Why?” she asked. “You’re not usually that quiet!” he said concerned. “It was a long day and I just got into bed. I really need to sleep” she said faking a yawn. “OK go to sleep then. We’ll talk tomorrow” he said sweetly. “Good night” she said and ended the call.

Her head was buried in her fluffy pillow and her thick quilt was covering her head. She was surprisingly proud of herself. She was proud of how she didn’t rush to confront him with what she knew as she usually does. That angry Yara who burst in frustration when she hears something upsetting didn’t exist this time. She felt mature and responsible. Staying quiet, thinking, being patient and trying to find out the truth felt right this time. Maybe she was finally ready for marriage after all.

The next morning, Yara woke up early and headed to Dalal’s house. The hyper mother was too excited to see her after all this time. She squeezed and welcomed her warmly just like the old times. And after having breakfast and catching up with the family, Yara, Dalal and the father went to his home office and discussed the matter privately. Yara asked him about the condition that Sara explained to her yesterday. She needed a medical explanation and maybe some future options or possibilities. He was very frank with her, he couldn’t tell her anything since he had no idea about the cases. But he assured her that if any two couldn’t conceive together, doesn’t mean that they both never will. It is possible that they were a wrong match and it is also possible that one of them is unable to. But then again, she wished that she knew more details about their cases. She wished that Alia said more about Fahad’s condition. But right then, this is all she knew. And she only had those facts to rely on.

After hugging Dalal passionately and thanking her for her help, Yara left Dalal’s house and went straight ahead to meet Nadia in her house. She was in bed and the curtains were down. Yara jumped on the bed, hugged Nadia and kissed her cheek several times. “You missed me ha!” said Nadia pushing her away.  “Yes” admitted Yara with a grin as she lay next to her. “What happened at Dalal’s?” asked Nadia. “Nothing new. I just know that what Sara said could be possible. But it’s not that, it’s the fact that he lied. It’s the lie that I won’t be able to get over” said Yara sadly. “You’re calm now. No longer angry” said Nadia as she rolled over and faced Yara. “I guess” said Yara quietly. “Then maybe it’s time to talk about it with him?” asked Nadia. “I was thinking about that. I should do it today. Only two days are left for the proposal and I don’t wanna delay this anymore” said Yara. “Yes, that’s right. But you have to be as calm as you are now, don’t lose your temper or else things will get out of hand” said Nadia. “I’ll try. What happened with you?” asked Yara looking at Nadia. “We didn’t talk about it. Mohammed left last night and my parents are coming back after tomorrow. Time off for now” said Nadia. “How do you feel?” she asked smiling. “I can’t believe that Mohammed met my parents. It felt weird after all this time. But I am really happy and both of us are so into it now. I don’t think that we’ll bear staying away from each other” confessed Nadia. “You surrendered?” teased Yara. “Yes” said Nadia covering her face with her hands. “And you’ll fight for it?” asked Yara excitedly. “Aha” affirmed Nadia happily. “At least one of us will have a happy ending” said Yara in sorrow. “Don’t say that. We both will inshalla. Now call Fahad and tell him that you need to see him” said Nadia and got off her bed.

“You’re pale! You need to eat” said Fahad as he sat in the café with a Tuna sandwich in his hand and a glass of Orange juice infront of him. “No, I had a heavy breakfast” said Yara without smiling as she sat next to him on one sofa. “You must be stressed then. Are you nervous about Tuesday? You still have time to change your mind” teased Fahad as he stared at her lovingly. She smiled and shook her head, “No, no, it’s not that” she said quietly. “What is it then? Tell me.” He said nicely. “I met Alia yesterday” she said staring at him. “What? Why?” he said in shock as he put the sandwich down and rubbed his hands together. “I’ll be honest with you Fahad but please don’t be angry. We are getting married and I had every right to ask her about you” she said with no emotions. “Ask her about me? If you have me why would you need to ask anyone about me?” he asked in anger. “It’s different and yet normal!” she said still calm. “And what did she tell you? Anything that I don’t know about?” he asked being sarcastic. “Things that I didn’t know about” she said emphasizing on the I. Fahad rested his back on the sofa and took a deep breath nervously. “Why didn’t you tell me Fahad?” she asked looking at him while he was looking away. “What did she tell you?” he asked again. “You lied again” she said in disappointment. “Answer my question!” he said in anger bending forward. “The tale that you came up with about her not wanting to become a mother is far from being true” she said now sadly. “Talking to her behind my back means that you don’t have trust in me!” he said furious. “You keep on lying Fahad. And you talk to me about trust?” she looked at him with a hurt look. Fahad rested his elbows on his knees and scratched his almost bald head with both hands, “Have you even thought about why I hide or.. lie as you say?” he said quietly this time. “Yes. But…what if Alia was right, and..” she said trying hard to put the words together. “Don’t finish” he interrupted. “Then tell me! Tell me why you lied about this! It is a very big deal! You know how much I love you and you know that if you were honest with me I would’ve married you no matter what!” she said exploding. “I didn’t know you well back then. And since me and Alia were never sure of the problems we had, I preferred not discussing it again with you!” he explained. “You are making it sound so easy when it’s not. You are dragging me into this marriage blindly. I had every right to know. And I asked you recently about it and you refused to answer.” She said with her anger starting to rise. “Listen to me” he said and put his hand on her shoulder, “don’t allow this to come between us. Not a couple of days before things get official.” He said. She remained quiet and lowered her head. “We went through a lot till we reached this stage. And we are old enough to understand each other in such situations. I don’t know what Alia told you, but I assure you that the reasons behind being unable to conceive are unknown for both of us.” He said in a convincing tone. “It’s the 21^st century. Your tests must have said something! And was this the reason why you got divorced? Only that?” she asked in a mix of anger and sadness. “Mainly yes, but we lost patience and were not able to deal with each other. It got complicated between the two of us emotionally. Our personalities wouldn’t click anymore. We didn’t have the will nor the power to fight for it. And things reached to a dead end” he said.  “Why didn’t you say all that before? You know how much I appreciate honesty. And…” she said and he interrupted her “ssshhhh” he said and covered her mouth with his hand “enough said. What happened had happened. This is my past and we shouldn’t allow it to come between us. Now you know that there is a chance that I won’t be able to give you children. Even if it’s a small percentage but, now you know about it.” He said and she managed to remove his hand off her mouth. “But the question is, are you willing to take the risk?” he asked being reasonable. She took a deep breath and looked at him in the eyes, “You know how I much I love you, and I want nothing from this life but to be with you, you saved my family and you are a good man. A true man. And I think that…”