Queenz Talk

Gudaibiya Road & the Lost Glory

2012-01-16T00:39:00.000-08:00

Driving through Gudaibiya road today I got flashes of how this road
used to be back in the 80’s and 90’s. It was, and still is, one of the
liveliest roads in Bahrain. Always busy with people running their
lives and endless low-end shops & restaurants with bright signage that
blinds the eyes.

Al-Hadi Mall (Dasman/Daiso now) was located in the very beginning of
this road back in the 80’s. It was one of the few malls in Bahrain
other than Sheraton and Yateem Center. It was the place to be. With a
small restaurant in the middle that served the best Club Sandwich ever
and Al Ahram music shop in one of the corners where I got my first
Fairouz tape from. We used to run around from a boutique to the other
and all around the fountain while our mothers shopped. I will never
forget the low ceiling part with a sign saying: “watch your head”.

Between the mid and late 90’s my memory goes back to two houses where
I spent a lot of my time with my friends. The Saffy residence and the
Bastaki residence. My best friend used to spend her Thursdays in her
grandfather’s house, Ishaq Saffy, which was located right in the
middle of that road. It’s where we used to meet and then walk around
the fabric shops, the tailor (Methaleya), and a small shop that sells
buttons and linings (Tarrada). The road was busy with expats, but
there were some Bahrains too. Nowadays you hardly see any.

Two of my friends used to live in Al Bastaki residence. It was located
in an alley off the main road. This house witnessed a lot of our
gatherings, parties and sleepovers. Sadly, the Bastakis moved out, the
tailor shifted to Bu Ghazal, and the Saffy residence was demolished.

Guadaibiya Road is now officially a zone that is occupied by expats.
Many old shops are still standing and being run by Asians. All of them
are low-end shops that are boutiques, restaurants, cold stores,
studios, florists, fabric shops, fruit stalls, salons etc. Ramada
Palace hotel was recently built there and it is adding a new vibe to
the road. Mostafa bin Abdul Latif’s office is also still located there
and I really hope that it doesn't shift. It is giving the road an identity of
what it once was.

Before the 80’s this road was a local residential area. With time,
Bahrainis moved out to other quiet areas, other cities, and Gudaibiya
was history. I love how it’s still vibrant with the same old touches,
the same parking problems and bikes parked randomly on the pavement.
The chaos makes living there very tiring and stressful. But it is nice
to pass by from time to time and remember the old days. The glory days of
Gudaibiya.

I am proud and I love the fact that my first home was there. An
apartment that I can still smell, in Gudaibiya..

Jan 2012

The Remains of 2011

2012-01-03T05:14:00.000-08:00

1. Movie of the year: Halla2 La Wayn.

2. Best TV series: None.

3. Song of the year: 1) English: I say a little prayer. I love how everyone sent me msgs or voicenotes whenever they heard the song. 2) Arabic: Fairouz- B7ebak maba3ref. Played it a lot in the car all year long.

4. Favorite holiday: Greece. I can call it a holiday because it was relaxing & adventurous. Amazing food, perfect beach, good company.

5. Favorite gift: 1) Grandma’s vintage clock. 2) A box of interest-related gifts (reading, writing & traveling)

6. Favourite Book: None of the books I read deserve this title. But the one I’m currently reading could be considered: Khalil Jebran – al ajne7a el motakassera.

7. Most often hangout: Riwaq & Starbucks jazeera

8. Favourite party/gathering/social event: 1) Although I hate skheer& I never go. The only time I went this year was extremely fun. Went crazy singing all night with the band: Ahmed, Ahmed & Queen Nazli. 2) Al Fateh Gatherings, both of them. 3) The sandstorm night in Durra.

9. Countries you visited in 2011: UAE (Abu Dhabi, Dubai), Italy (Milan), Greece (Santorini, Mykonos), Turkey (Istanbul), Lebanon (Beirut).

10. Achievements: 1) Completing my 2^nd novel. 2) Participating in the National Dialog. 3) Attending a concert for Fairouz for the 2^nd time.

11. A dream that came true: 1) Finally, I can ride a bike :D 2) Trying all the Thai restaurants in Bahrain (in process)

12. A big gain: All the people I met in 2011.

13. Best memory: Riding my bike all the way from our house in Durra to Maya when I barely knew how to ride it. Crossed 2 bridges & won the challenge ;)

14. Saddest memory: Paco being away

15. Bad Memory: All the horrible events that took place after Feb 14 in Bahrain. Especially the day of the crackdown and how Bahrain was divided into two groups.

16. Most embarrassing memory: My 45 minutes one-on-one TV interview with BTV when the viewership was at its peak!! I got very good feedback about it from many people but I was not satisfied with my performance at all.

17. Funniest memory: HONEY. A disgusting Thai restaurant in Souq el Manama & being there was a very funny experience.

18. Something you regret: Deleting my old Twitter account.

19. A crazy thing you did: Some protesters were blocking the road in Sehla with garbage & blocks and I had to drive over the pavement. Was so angry that I yelled at them. His reaction was the timeout sign they use !

20. A mean thing you did: Sara has a phobia of pigeons. I wanted to get back at her for some reason so I cut small pieces of paper while having lunch in Milan and threw them around to attract pigeons. My partner in crime Eman passed me some pizza crumbs under the table and I quietly put them under Sara’s chair. We were surrounded by pigeons. For a moment, I thought that our friendship was over :P

21. How did you spend your birthday? Loved it. Was out with the girls for se7oor at 12, fe6oor at granny’s and gathering with friends later. Cakes and gifts all day long.

22. You spent most of your time in 2011 doing this: Dealing with the political situation in Bahrain in many ways.

23. You spent most of your money in 2011 on: Traveling..

24. Habits that changed in 2011: Always in my own world doing the things I love doing without caring what others think.

25. What did you change about your looks? Unfortunately nothing.

26. Something new you've learnt: Media can’t be trusted.

27. Something you did for the first time: 1) Experienced being a waitress. 2) Went to the king’s palace.

28. If you could repeat all of 2011 once again, what would u change about it? Everything that happened in Bahrain. Wish I can delete this year from the history of Bahrain.

29. Any expectations for 2012: More political conflicts and financial crisis.

30. New Year resolution: 1) Have perfect teeth. Which means wear braces for the 2^ndtime in my life. 2) I want my body to be a priority just like 2005. When I used to go to the gym daily, eat healthy, see a dietitian, have hair & skin treatments regularly, etc. 3) Make more time to read. 4) Publish at least one of my novels. 5) Bring New Dawn back to life.

في شوارع بيروت

2011-12-25T06:56:00.000-08:00

لم تكن تلك المدينة غريبة عندما وطأت أقدامي شوارعها لأول مرة قبل عشرة أعوام. فكل شيء حولي سمعته ورأيته في أغاني فيروز التي كبِرت وانا أسمعها وأحسست بطعم زيتونها وعنبها كلما تغنّت بكروم العنب والتين.

ومضت الأعوام وزادت الزيارات ومازلت أشعر بحب كبير يملأ قلبي وانا أجوب شوارع تلك المدينة. كل بناية لها تاريخ وكل عجوز تحكي ملامحها شقاء سنوات الحرب. لا تشاغبني شوارعها الجبلية المخيفة ولا سياقة أهلها المتهورة، بل تؤكد وجودي هناك.. في تلك المدينة التي أشتاق إليها طوال السنة.

لم تقتلك السياسة.. بل زادت فنك المرهف وتاريخك العميق الذي أغرق فيه كلما قرأت قصص الحرب ورواياتك الجميلة. وفي كل زيارة يزيد فهمي لهذا التاريخ وأنا أرى مقرات أحزابك وصور مرشحيهم حولي.. وعندما يحزن قلبي كلما مررت على سان جورج حيث قتل رفيق الحريري. تاريخك صعب ومعقد لكنني أعشقه..وأقرأه وأنا أكبر..

أكره الخضروات والفواكة.. لكنها تتحول إلى ألذ ما آكل عندما أذهب الى بيروت. أحب أن أملأ منقوشتي بالخيار كل صباح..وأن أتلذذ في أكل الزيتون مع الإفطار والغداء والعشاء.. والتفاح الذي لا يضاهيه أي تفاح في العالم. ولا شيء مثل فنجان قهوة في شرفة تطل على شوارع وجبال تحكي قصص من غير حروف..

نتعلم منك كل يوم التعايش بين الأديان والعقائد..ما يجب تفاديه..وما يجب فعله..ما يجب عدم تكراره.. علمتينا كيف تستطيع السياسة أن تدمر بلد..وإن ما من منقذ لهذا البلد غير إحترام الأخ لأخيه مهما كان دينه او اسمه او مذهبه..

العالم يحب بيروت.. رغم سياسته الهائجة.. رغم السلام الغير مستقر.. سنضل نحبك ونشتاق اليك.. لأنك تاريخ..وعروبة..وجمال..وطبيعة..وشقاء عمر من الحروب.. من منا لا يحب بيروت؟ من منا لا يحب البيروتيين الأنيقين في الزي واللهجة؟ كلنا نحبك.. كلنا بيروت..

Travel Journal- Greece (Santorini & Mykonos) Sep 2011

2011-10-24T12:49:00.000-07:00

Saturday, 17 September 2011:

The flight (GF Bahrain-Athens) was at 10:40am and the three of us sat next to each other in a 3-3 small airplane. The window seat is always mine since i get airsick and need to stay in touch with the outside surroundings. The clouds help me calm down but not as much as Xanax does. My magic pill that made my dreams come true, now i can eat, read and sleep in airplanes. Those are things i've always dreamt of doing while flying since i was a kid.

I was confused why Gulf Air served us rice at 10 am?? Who eats rice with chicken or beef at 10 am? It's brunch time! Serve sandwiches or snacks but, lunch? We just took the trey to eat the bread and the rest of the MEAL went to waste.

A bad, horrible, awful smell suddenly covered the plane just like tear gas and everyone started complaining to the crew. Of course, the three of us laughed hysterically just imagining the source of that smell!

The loud Palestinian/Egyptian man behind us that was socializing with the Lebanese lady next to him made it so difficult to focus on the book that i was reading. He told the lady everything about himself for more than 2 hours contineously. I am now aware of his biography in details!! The girls couldn't sleep because of him. And the moment he said: "I'll let you relax now" to the Lebanese lady, the three of us fell asleep!!!!

We had around 4 hours to spare in Athens Airport waiting for our connection flight to Santorini. We were starving and i was excited to see my very favourite pizza place Sbarro. Each one of us had a slice of pizza then we shopped around and i got to have my first Greek Coffee. It's very similar to Turkish Coffee but a bit thicker.

Connection flight was very short. Around 40 minutes. I loved Aegean Airlines. The plane was clean and big with a very friendly crew. I spent the whole flight reading till we started landing. Landing in Santorini was one of the most beautiful experiences i've ever had. The sun was setting on that volcanic island while the plane took a u-turn around it. It was breath taking with all the white buildings spreaded around the edges of the hills like sugar cubes. The girls were jealous because i had the best view. Unfortunarely i didn't take any pictures. Was too busy admiring the scene.

Santorini Airport was a cute old building with zero counters or staff. The only thing you can find there is the luggage belt!

Hotel driver picked us up from the airport and the very narrow roads that went up and down got us worried since we were planning to rent a car. But the moment he parked the car infront of the hotel...i'll let the pictures speak!!

Where was the hotel? There wasn't any visible building or any trace of it. It was just a door. An open door to no where! But that's the beauty of Santorini, usually you enter a hotel and go up. But in Santorini, you go down!! Everything is located downstairs. The door to nowhere led to a staircase by the right side. And once you go down the stairs you find the actual hotel.

This tiny room is the reception. So simple. The hotel rooms were down. And there were no lifts of course. 90 steps to get to our room.

Our room was a cave. I think that it was the most beautiful hotel room i've ever stayed in. It was spacious with plenty of space for the three of us. Staff were very friendly.

We were staying in Fira. We took a 7 minutes bus ride to the market where we walked around to get a vibe of the place. Then we had our first Greek dinner in a nice and delicious restaurant called Athiri. The food was exteremly good that i immdeiately fell in love with Greek food. We had sea food risotto and Falafel.

The bill. Loved how they always placed it in this plastic thing.

After dinner we found a small Crepree right outside the square. We had the most amazing waffle ever.

Sunday, 18 Sep 2011:

I jumped out of bed after a good night sleep at 8am. Too excited to have breakfast on the balcony while facing the amazing view. I opened the door and a cold breeze hit my face. It was very refreshing.

These were the 90 steps that we had to climb up and down every time we left & went tor our room.

We drove our ugly old rented grey car south, heading to Oia (pronounced Eeya). We followed the map and got there easily. There roads were not tricky, yet. Something funny happened while driving, we saw the guy who drove us from the airport to the hotel, which was the same guy who to drove the shuttle bus to the market the night before, driving a truck!!!! The guy had three jobs and the island is TOO tiny.

We parked the ugly car in a public car park (3 Euoros for 5 hours) and walked to the market. It was a very long pedestrian strip with gift shops.

Above pic is a store that sells Santorini paintings on old peices of wood. Using old doors and different shapes of wood.

Below is one of the most beautiful bookshops i've ever seen. It sells old Greek books.

It was too sunny that day that i had to buy a pink hat that didn't match my yellow/brown outfit. We shopped around and bought a CD of Zorba for the car, magnets, postcards and bookmarks.

We were looking for a recommended restaurant called Sunset Taverna. It was supposed to be by the sea and the market that we were walking around was up the hill. We asked around and they told us that we have to go down around 300 steps. So we started climbing down all kind of steps. Some were white, some were stoney. Some were wide and small, some were high and long. And whenever we climbed more the way seemed to be longer and longer. It was an endless way to Sunset Tavern and we felt our muscles getting torn. But guess what? We MADE IT.

Sunset Tavern: We had all kinds of delicious sea food after stretching our legs!

There was no way that we climb up all the steps that we just climbed down to go back to our car. That was impossible, we had no energy whatsoever and it was a long long way. The only way was to take a taxi, OR take a donkey ride up the hill. We walked back to the steps to find so many donkeys for people to ride and reach the top of the hill. And the only thing we thought of was: POOR DONKIES!

We walked a bit further to find a cab and it was then we had a good view on the hill we climbed down. Trace the brown fence from the highest point you see and all the way down to the chairs of the restaurants by the beach...

There were no taxis. Some other tourists needed to go back to the top of the hill too but couldn't find a taxi. There was a bus that belonged to a tourism company who made a deal with the restaurant to drop us and the other tourists for 10 Euors per group!

We took our ugly car and drove to Imerovigli. The roads were very steep since the location was higher. It wasn't worth going because it turned out to be a village with many hotels but no shops or cafes. We decided to go back to our lovely hotel to see the sunset. Sunset is a big deal in Santorini and people plan their day accordingly. They must be in a strategic location to watch the sunset by 7pm.

The smooth roads that took us south that morning were still smooth when we went back to Fira. But we lost our way at some point. There was one single turning that we kept on missing which linked central Fira to the highway that took us to our hotel. We tried every single turning and Zorba CD was on repeat till we got sick of it. We found our way after a long while and we made it to the hotel just when it was time for the sun to set.

After a short rest at the hotel we went back to central Fira for dinner. Salt & Pepper was the name of the number 1 recommended restaurant in Santorini by Trip Advisor. I insisted to have dinner there and we found the place. It was a small restaurant owned by a Greek couple. The food was so delicious that the three of us agreed that it deserved the ranking. The owner/waitress was so sweet and we had a long conversation with her about the place. So far all Greeks we met were extremely friendly and sweet. She kissed each one of us on the cheek goodbye and we took a picture with her.

That night i discovered my favourite Greek dish. Tomatoes Kefteda !!!! (i'm not a tomato person)

Milk Steak.

We were full when we left Salt & Pepper, but we couldn't resist the idea of passing by that Creperee for the amazing waffle and excellent Latte. And so we went again..

Monday, 19 Sep 2011:

The day started with breakfast on the balcony again. It was cold, so i wrapped up my shawl around me and enjoyed a cup of tea and cake. The eggs were not so good.

The day was planned to drive south and visit some of Santorini's many beaches. But since it was cold i was certain that i would't be able to swim. We packed our beach clothes just incase and hit the road.

Had to take a picture of this couple reading in the hotel with their Kindle. Very cute.

First destination: Red Beach.

We parked the car and followed some people who climbed a few stony steps next to the parking space. But there was no beach! We took a few steps, again following people, to find the beach far down below! We had to hike up and down a rocky cliff. It was a very tough hike as the rocks were big and uneven. We reached the beach after 10 minutes of hiking.

Try to trace the people in the following pictures to see the hike route.

The weather got warmer but the water was still too cold to swim. There were some sun beds and umbrellas for rent so we sat there for a bit of relaxing, reading and tanning. The incredible thing about this beach is that there was no sand!! Imagine walking through a beach with tiny volcanic stones replacing sand. Just like a therapy spa. See what i mean in the following pics.

After that we headed to another beach called Perivolos with a very very long strip of restaurants that it was so hard for us to pick one. The water was as cold and the sand was not sand also. Result = More tan and eating two large pizzas by the beach.

A short break at the hotel to rest and watch the sun set again.

This is our ugly overpriced rented car. Driving in Santorini was a nice thing to experience.

We spent the rest of the day in central Fira where we found a huge area that we hadn't discovered before. Truly beautiful.

Referring to Tripadvisor again, we looked for a restaurant called Daphne which was rated 2nd best in Fira. We found the place but it was closed. So we searched for the 3rd which was called Naoussa Taverna. It was located near Daphne and owned by the same people. There was a long queue of people waiting to be seated there and they also came based on Tripadvisor's rating!! We waited for around half an hour till we got a table and it was worth the wait. The food was good (Salt & Pepper was better) and the owners were really friendly. The atmosphere was also lovely. You get the feeling that you're on set, filming a Greek movie or My Big Fat Greek Wedding when it's actually outdoors!

Since it was our last night in Santorini, we had to pass by the Creperie one last time. We said Goodbye to Diana, the lady who served us for three nights, and had a crepe for a change which didn't turn out to be good.

Tuesday, 20 Sep 2011:

Had breakfast in the room this time. I was trying hard to be healthy so i just had some small cubes of apple while watching BBC.

We said goodbye to our lovely hotel.

It was time to go to Mykonos by ferry. We headed to the port with our heavy luggage and waited for the ferry in a "waiting room". Three old ladies sat right infront of us and one of them was writing notes on a notebook. I laughed and said: "Look, that's me in the future". When in fact all three ladies looked like us in the future. I guessed that they were Mexican but the girls did'nt agree. But then we heard them speak Latin and i think that i was right!

The ferry was big but just like an airplane. No outdoor area and long rows of seats. All luggage were placed on top of each other on the deck. It was a total mess.

I found myself all alone when one of the girls fell asleep and the other was getting nauseous. And for some reason i was craving pistachio. So i went to the "cantine" and luckily they had pistachio. I ended up with a cup of latte, chocolate/biscuit sticks and pistachio. People were either asleep or reading and i was the only one eating like there is no tomorrow while writing some notes.

After 3 hours of cruising we reached Mykonos. It took us a while to find our luggage that was placed between so many other suitcases. The moment i stepped outside the ferry i noticed the difference between Santorini and Mykonos: Gay island!

I don't know why but i didn't take any pictures of our hotel in Mykonos, Bill & Coo. What i loved about it is that, other than all buildings, it was white with light green doors and windows instead of blue. It stood out because it was a bit higher than the other buildings around it.

Best part is that i had my own room there. We reserved a honeymoon suite and i took the room with no A/C since i get cold easily.

We walked to the Market and then walked around the tiny shops and narrow allies till we got to Little Venice; a short waterfront line of restaurants. We sat in a random cafe and had Greek Coffee.

We had dinner reservations in Sea Satin, which was luckily close to Little Venice. The atmosphere was lovely but with cats walking under the tables which totally ruined it. Food was average. And of course i had to order my tomatoe dish.

I'll go over the rest of Mykonos by places and not by day by day details as the lifestyle is very different than Santorini. It's more about the big picture, the beaches, and the shops. The season was already over so the island was quiet.

Nammos - Psarou Beach:

It was my tanning day but it was cloudy and windy. But i laid on the sun bed praying for some sun. It was on and off but somehow affective. The water was freezing cold, swimming wasn't an option so we walked by the beach. While walking my feet got used to the cold water and i found myself walking into the sea, fighting the cold water, step by step till i dipped my full body in the water. What a refreshing feeling it was to swim against those freezing tides. It was the best experience in the whole trip.

We had lunch there afterwards and the food was excellent. Especially the salad, it was exactly like my cousin had described it: "The best salad you will ever have in your life".

Solimar:

Uno Con Carne for dinner (Steak & Oyster). Excellent food and beautiful atmosphere. One of the most beautiful restaurants i've ever been to.

Panormas Beach, didn't like it much for some reason, it looks better in pictures.

And now get ready for a breath taking scene: The Horse in The Middle of No Where.

Kiki's, a family owned restaurant that stands on its own at a level between the narrow road that leads to it and a small beach. The dining area is covered with huge tree branches with a small building where the kitchen is. Walking down the hill to get there you suddenly find yourself facing a beautiful scenery.

We passed by one of the most beautiful Greek houses on our way down to Kiki's. Truly inspiring as it stood alone on the hill.

Our rented car in Mykonos was lovable this time. I love Fiat.

Starbucks, the Greek way..

Jimmy's. Yummy Gyros on the go..

And that's it.. Our trip to Greece ended by delaying our internal flight because of
a strike in Athens airport. Lucky enough we had around seven hours to spare in Athens airport which got reduced to five because of the delay. I love airports so time passed so quickly as we shopped in the Duty Free.

Visiting Santorini at this time of the year (September) is highly recommended. As for Mykonos, the season was almost over and the crazy island was quiet. If you're only going for the beaches then it's a good time.

Last but not least, parakalo.. the most common Greek word that we heard twice in every sentence..

Efxaristo..

A State of Mind

2011-09-26T00:00:00.001-07:00

A State of Mind

She stepped into the outdoor area of the French-themed café that was few blocks away from her office. Working late became a habit that week. It was dark and drizzly, but her shoulder-length wavy hair survived the humidity. She turned her head right and looked for him with her black-framed reading glasses still on. And he was right there, in his usual spot, facing the other side and giving her a good view of his back. She took a deep breath and walked to his table with her brown blazer, beige pants and a black leather folder in her hand. “Hello” she said carelessly as she pulled a chair and sat next to him without looking at him. “Hey. You made it!” he said in excitement. “Yes. I did” she said in exhaustion as she removed her glasses and pressed on her nose bridge. It was then when she took a first look at his face. The cigarette was lit in his right hand and the smoke flew up to his mixed black/grey hair. She adored his hair because it was a reflection of his mature personality. “You look nice today” he said casually as he sipped his almost empty cup of espresso. “Don’t be silly. I hate winter and how I look in winter. Especially after spending the whole day at the office! You know me better than that” she said as she waved for the waiter. “Doesn’t change the fact that you look nice today” he repeated nicely. “Jasmine Tea, please” she turned to the waiter, ignoring his comment. “What’s so important?” he asked staring at her folder. “The usual. I need your opinion in those articles before I publish them” she said as she opened her folder and took out some papers. “Classic you. Will you ever type and e-mail?” he teased her as he took the papers and lowered his head to read. “And I can’t be classic because I analyze the stock market and the financial crisis?” she wondered. “Yes. You are a sophisticated Economist and not a novelist or poet” he said seriously. “Can we not go through this conversation again?” she said resting her cheek on her right hand. Without a word, he looked down and started reading. She stared at his serious face, his perfect nose and the woolen scarf around his neck with her thoughts far away. He picked up his pen and started drawing lines under some words and writing side notes. But she didn’t pay attention to her paper, the paper that was just an excuse to see him.

Time passed between some comments and brief discussions while she sipped her tea and acted focused. He looked at his watch after reading two articles: “I must leave now, but I’ll take the rest with me and read them later at night. I promise!” he said as he called the waiter for the cheque and folded the remaining papers. “Thank you” she said nicely. “What are friends for?” he said as he stared at his mobile and got up, leaving some money on the table without waiting for the cheque and an empty pack of cigarette.

She was too afraid to look back and see what she didn’t want to see. But her curiosity won. She turned around, and there she was, the gorgeous blonde. The world stood still at that moment and no body existed except for him and the blonde. He patted the blonde’s back warmly as they met by the entrance and walked away together.

The Economist turned one of her papers around and started writing:

Love is a state of mind..i don’t love you as much as i love myself around you..i don’t miss you..but i miss myself around you.. Let her have you..and let the whole world see you together..but in my state of mind..you’ll always be the one I have, yet wish for.. the one right infornt of me, yet not mine.. A lover who will only exist..in my state of mind..

25 Sep 2011

29, Glorious 29

2011-08-28T03:11:00.000-07:00

-    That Cozy Se7oor: I looked around at that transition moment at 12 mid night when my 28th year ended and my 29th started. I was surrounded by my best friends, feeling the warmth of their company and laughing about our wrong choices of Lebanese food in Abdelwahab restaurant. My phone started receiving continuous greeting messages, statuses were updated with birthday wishes and my face was suddenly in many friends’ Display Pictures. I love attention. And at that moment I was the center of attention and I loved being under the spotlight for no reason except for being born 29 years ago, on that day. And the picture was complete with Fairouz playing in the background. Her songs are the soundtrack of my life.

-    It Got To Be 2011: On my way back home I passed by Ras Rumman to see Police Jeeps parking and few policemen surrounding the area. I turned my head right to see that typical view of trash and bricks all over the entrance that was caused by rioters. 2011, the year of endless riots stamped a reminder on my 29th birthday.

-    The Bike Revolution: Driving through the neighborhood after 1:30am, I saw a boy riding his bike. I usually feel jealous when I see people riding bikes in the city when I only get to do that around the beach house. But this time I felt proud of myself for trying and learning how to ride a bike recently. I smiled all the way back home.

-    The Kuwaiti TV Commercial: After having 3 Safi fish and a huge plate of rice for fu6oor at granny’s I was feeling so heavy that I couldn’t lift up the newspaper to read it. And just when everyone was seated in the living room to watch el Camera el Makhshosha, my aunt Shaikha walked in with a cake and that candle that is more like a firework. Some started singing happy birthday, some didn’t really care (jafaf), while my aunt was complaining about the firework candle suffocating her while carrying the cake. Sitting next to my cake, I started taking pictures with my phone, my aunt kissed me and broke the jafaf, my grandma was so touched that she started crying as usual and I turned to her and kissed her, family members in the background doing different things, someone pouring tea and someone making fun of the drama. All that and my dad was video taping the scene with his iphone. A typical Kuwaiti TV Commercial.

-    Precious gifts: Three of my favourite people made my night by giving me precious gifts that will last for life. They made me feel extra special and lucky. Yes, I felt lucky. I feel lucky. I am a lucky 29 years old lady.

-    The Last Scene: I never thought that being in a room with three 2-months old babies would be so much fun. I’m not a big fan of kids. But when three of my close friends gave birth to three adorable babies a couple of months ago I started feeling the motherly love. Every time I carry one I get a very warm feeling and my heart gets filled with love. That’s how my day ended, carrying baby Shaikha, dancing for baby Khalid, and making fun of lazy baby Rashid.

And that was the kind of birthday that I will never forget.

24-8-2011

Al Bilad newspaper - 20-July-2011

2011-07-24T05:27:00.000-07:00

Journal.. London 2009

2011-07-21T02:48:00.001-07:00

While cleaning my office the past few days I found an A4 sheet with very brief comments about my London trip with the family back in March 2009. It was bro’s spring break in Savannah & we met him half way. I usually do that briefing when I plan to write a journal and use those comments as a reminder of what I want to talk about in the journal. But seems like the paper disappeared because I never wrote that journal. I found it interesting in a way. More like quick diary entries with zero details. The only thing is that I don’t remember some of it. Here it is:

Fri: Travelling day, air sickness, luggage delay. (Typical lol)

Sat: Oxford, Selfridges, Salt Beef, more shopping, Abercrombie, apartment (reading, episodes), dinner at al Hamra with family + Mohammed my cousin. (I can feel the Mayfair touch in this entry)

Sun: Covent Garden, beautiful weather, bro & father went to a football match, apartment with uncle Ali, Rula & Mohammed, dinner with all at Sofra. (I don’t remember any of this! What is sofra?)

Mon: Walked to Knightsbridge, hot, changed in a shop, Sloane Street, lunch at Joe’s, Harvey Nics, dinner @ Amaya with family + uncle Ali & Rula, my chip wasn’t working. (I remember the changing part & how frustrated I was about my chip over dinner. In London I walk around with two phones, so I had my London chip too so why was I frustrated? It was that huge silver Blackberry back then)

Tue: Walked to oxford, business people walking everywhere, top shop, more shopping at oxford, Harrods, got the bag, home. (Which bag?)

Wed: Westfield, home, Billy Elliot. (Billy Elliot broadway show was amazing)

Thurs: Foyles, HMV, Selfridges, underground, dinner @ Kai with family + uncle Ali and Rula. (First two are typical me in London. But there must be a reason why I wrote “underground”, can’t remember)

Fri: With bro in Knightsbridge, Masgouf for dinner.

It ends here! Other than that i remember having my own room in the apartment and the book that i was reading back then (How to Manage a Non-profit Organization), i was also writing my first novel.

That was my last visit to London. London was home for me once upon a time and a yearly destination (more like twice or more a year). But I got over it. I don’t miss it. It’s not even one of my three favourite cities anymore. And I’m proud of that ..

21 July 2011

UOB.. Memories of the early 2000s

2011-06-12T06:25:00.000-07:00

My old friend Nawaf took me 10 years back in time when he reminded me how much i used to love the song "Ghareeb" in UOB..now i'm stuck there:

Remembering the drive to UOB every morning in my Golden Bora, listening to all kinds of mixed tapes (especially A.Karim A.Qader) & parking in the "cool" parking area!

Remembering the walk to the business building carrying the heavy books & hiding from the security lady who always comments on my clothes!

Remembering how we used to dress up on SMW because the uni is too busy & be casual on UT because it's almost empty.

Remembering skipping lectures, going for a drive in Riffa & having 6an6a chicken sandwich

Remembering laughing out loud in that very small corner upstairs near the stairs that was enough to fit all the "cool" business students!

Remembering that very famous sarcastic e-mail that i wrote & was widely spread around. Random people gave me thumbs up!

Remembering my very favourite Dr. Sameera Al Khazrajy. Her lectures were my favourite

Remembering the huge National Day celebration when the King came & i was the one who offered him a trey of chocolate :D

Remembering how all students used to go to Seef for lunch every Wednesday and Chili's for dinner every Thursday (parking crisis).

Bonus Feature- Soundtrack - Finale

2011-05-19T02:58:00.000-07:00

Majida Al Roumi - Khedni 7abeeby

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cr8I1UM3Bxg&feature=related

Chapter 22, Finale

2011-05-19T01:38:00.000-07:00

Yara was lying on her bed with her glasses on and a book in her hand. The TV was on but her attention was totally focused on the novel that she was reading. Jane Austin was her usual companion whenever she felt down, but this time she felt the need to share her sadness away from the classic British drama. Her depression was bigger and deeper than that and she related it more to a Turkish drama. And that’s how the novel that she was holding succeeded in taking her to another world. The Bastard of Istanbul by Elif Shafak.

Her mobile rang, but she didn’t care to cut off the sentence that she was reading to pick it up. The caller had to wait and the phone kept ringing before she finally put down the book and reached for the phone. “Yes?” she answered annoyed. “Hi Yara” said Alia. “Hi!” she said confused. “How are you doing?” she asked nicely. “Fine and you?” she asked casually. “I’m good. Is this a bad time to talk?” she asked politely. “It’s OK, what is it?” she wondered. “The other day.. when we met.. maybe I wasn’t clear enough about what I had told you” she said pausing several times. “Did Fahad ask you to tell me this?” she asked straight away. “No, I just felt that..maybe.. what I had told you caused this separation..by not explaining the situation very well..” she lied. “Alia did Fahad ask you to call me and tell me this?” she asked again sure of the answer. “We discussed it and we agreed that, maybe, I should’ve said it in a better way..” said Alia. “What is it that you wanna say?” asked Yara just to get done with it. “We both had problems. And it wasn’t right for me to hide my issues and speak as if he was responsible for the whole thing” explained Alia. “It doesn’t matter really” said Yara. “It does. I know it’s too late and I’m sorry, but I really hope that you think about it and…” she said and Yara interrupted her, “it’s not that. Not just that. Thank you for explaining but this wasn’t the only issue..” said Yara. “Fahad is a great guy. And maybe a part of me wanted to cause problems between you two. I’m not saying that I meant to do that but a small part of me must’ve been jealous.” Admitted Alia. “Thank you. Appreciate your honesty..” said Yara.

After ending the call, Yara thought about Alia’s words for a bit. Is it possible that Alia’s still in love with him? And after all the problems that they faced, does she still have hope to get him back? It sounded impossible from Fahad’s side. But what about Alia’s feelings? She shook her head, kicked the thoughts away and went back to her book. That was the only way to have some peace of mind from all of what she was facing.

Sajida ordered the maid to move a plastic table and some chairs to the so-called garden in the house yard. There wasn’t any grass or any kind of flowers in it. None of them were really interested in taking care of it. But the weather was lovely and Sajida was in a very bad state of mind since Yara and Fahad’s separation and Tamara’s incident. Staying home was choking her and she didn’t feel like going out in public and seeing people. That bare “garden” was her only getaway.

“It’s like I'm suddenly realizing that my life was always worthless” said Sajida while sipping tea and having a talk with Nadia and Yara in the garden. “But what made you suddenly think that? Why are you blaming yourself for what happened to your daughters?” asked Nadia. “I am responsible in a way. What kind of attention was I giving to them? Every mother loves her kids, we can’t argue about that. But my attention was always focused on other things. Things that seemed too valuable to me when they were actually not.” Confessed Sajida. Yara was very nervous to hear her strong, unbreakable mother saying all of those weak words. She remained quiet to make sure that Sajida had all the space that she needed to open up. “Remember my reaction when you told me about Fahad? I only started considering him when you talked to me about his well-known family and what they owned” said Sajida. “Don’t be so hard on yourself. Just be thankful to Allah that you are all here today and in a good health” said Nadia sweetly. “I think that I’ve been through this before. This feeling that I’m feeling today, the guilt and the depression. It’s exactly what I felt when I lost my husband. But I never learned my lesson and I went back to who I was before”, she said moving the cup of tea in her hand as she spoke. “But we wanted you to get out of that mood. And even if you went back to being who you were before, we accepted it because it’s just who you are” said Yara finally. “I could’ve lost my daughter easily. And I blame myself fully for what happened to Tamara. All those years I had no idea where she had spent her time or with who” she said. “But I did and she was doing great” said Yara trying to comfort her. “It wasn’t your responsibility. Which makes it worse! You were always like a mother to her more than I was” she said guiltily. “It’s never too late. She is still young and you are still here for her” said Nadia patting her hand. “I can’t bear seeing her like that. She’s scared to leave the house and can't sleep alone in her room. I don’t blame her but I blame myself” said Sajida. “I really think that she needs professional help. Let’s get her a psychologist. If we ignore it there is a chance that it might get worse” said Yara. “I don’t wanna put her under any pressure” said Sajida refusing. “We can introduce her to him as a family friend or something. Not as a doctor. And she won’t even notice” said Nadia. “I don’t know. I think that she needs to get out of this country for a while. It’s hard for her to get back to her normal life after what had happened. She needs a big change” said Sajida. “A trip maybe?” said Nadia. “Longer than that. A long getaway that will make her forget this incident” said Sajida looking far away. “What do you have in mind?” asked Yara worried about Sajida’s usual wild ideas. “Boarding school” she said suddenly. “WHAT? THAT’S CRAZY!” screamed Yara. “Why not? My Kuwaiti friend sent her daughter and she is doing really well. It is what Tamara needs right now. A total new world” said Sajida now coldly. “You have any idea how much that costs? You’ll have to sell the house!!” said Yara still not believing it. “Let it be. We sell the house, me and Tamara move to Switzerland and you go back to Fahad” said Sajida as easy as ABC. “Nadia, say something!! I think menopause is driving her insane!! Look at how she jumped from feeling guilty to going back to being the typical Sajida!!” screamed Yara. Nadia laughed, “aunty that can’t happen. It’s just too complicated. Maybe we should be realistic for now” said Nadia nicely. “And I am not going back to Fahad just so you fulfill your dreams!! A couple of minutes ago you were crashing down about all the times that you wasted by not giving us any attention!!” said Yara still in shock. “It’s for your best at the end of the day. You won’t have to worry about taking care of us!” said Sajida. “And you really think that you can manage a whole life by yourself? You call me even when you want to order food delivery!!” said Yara criticizing. “I want to make it up to her. I want to fix this in any way possible.” Said Sajida insisting. “And you want to go to Switzerland! Your old dream of living in Europe still exists I see..” said Yara. “It’s not wise to sell the house. It’s the only thing left for you” said Nadia. “Yes. You are right.” Said Sajida convinced. “Leave if you want to, and if you can. But don’t force me to go back to Fahad for that!” said Yara hurt. “You are old enough to know what’s best for you. Maybe you can come with us too and find a job there” suggested Sajida. “No. None of that will happen. Please stop dreaming mama. Please! We have enough to deal with right now and the last thing I need is you going overboard with your dreams.” Begged Yara. “OK here is a good change of subject. My shop’s official opening is going to be next Wednesday. And I need you both to help me.” Ordered Nadia. “My love, I wish I can. But you know how..” said Sajida but Nadia interrupted, “I know and that’s why I’ll be forcing you to work with me. You need to get your head out of this” said Nadia. “I’m good at nothing” said Sajida and let out a sarcastic laugh. “Yes, you are. I need your help with the flower arrangements.” Said Nadia. “Your mother can do that” said Sajida. “I like your taste more. And you can’t say no to me” said Nadia as she got up and kissed Sajida’s forehead.

“How are you feeling?” asked Mohammed as he sat on the opposite side of Reem in her parents’ house. “Free!” she said clearly upset. “You don’t have to keep treating me this way you know?” he said. “I can’t control it!” she said still upset. “Reem, we have a son. For his sake we have to remain in good standing. As his parents only” he said maturely. “Let’s just get done with this” she said not caring about what he said. “Fine, as you wish. I will pick him up every Friday morning and bring him back by the evening. That would be fixed as a family day. Anything else that comes along we can deal with as it happens”, he said. “You won’t be able to see him during the week. He sleeps early and you are the type that works late” she said now calmer. “I’ll get to know once I settle down with a job” he replied. “And please, I don’t want that woman to be close to him.” She said rudely. “He’s just a kid. You can’t put limits between him and people around him. And Nadia is a nice woman and she will be good to him” he said in an assuring tone. “How would you feel if I got married and your son got attached to my husband?” she asked straight forward. “What kind of a question is that? The kid knows his parents very well and I see no need to get into these useless arguments!” he said as he got up. “Easy for you to say! Put yourself in my shoes, and see for yourself how a woman feels to see her family being apart” she said hurt. Mohammed took a deep breath losing patience, “where is he? I wanna see him before I go.” He said while walking out. “He’s not here. My brother took him out” she said walking him out. “Take good care of him Reem. My son is in your hands and the fact that I won’t be living with him in one house is very hurtful, at least for now.” He said heading out. “He’s my son too, remember?” she said as they stared at each other’s faces one last time. He turned around, put on his sunglasses and left.

Yara walked into the café with slow steps. She took off her sunglasses and looked around for Fahad. He was sitting in his usual spot flipping a sports magazine with no interest. She smiled to the waiters and waitresses a sad smile with her head lowered down. Their faces brought her so many good memories of all the times that she had spent there either with her books, her friends, or with Fahad.

“Hi” she said as she stood infront of him. “Good to see you” he said smiling. “I’m sorry to call and ask to see you so suddenly” she said sitting down. “Don’t apologize. You know that I was hoping that you’d call” said Fahad smiling. She didn’t react but looked down with her face expression unchanged. “What’s the matter? Is everything OK?” asked Fahad concerned. “Yes, I just came here to give you this” she said opening her handbag, picking up an envelope and handing it to him. He took it confused and opened it. “What is this for?” he asked staring at the cheque. “It’s the money that you paid to cover the debt. I promised you that I’ll pay it back” she answered seriously. “Yara!” he said upset. “Please, it’s your family’s money and you can’t argue about that” she said. “Where did you get that money from? Is it from the sale of the Studio?” he asked angry. “Yes” she said. “Why did you sell the Studio? To pay me back?” he kept questioning. “Part of the reason, yes” she confirmed. “You sold your career Yara! You know what that means? What are you going to do now?” he asked shocked. “We needed the money and this is your share of it. I will find a job, no big deal” she said sadly. “This was always your problem since I first met you. Your pride came on top of everything else!” he said in anger. “That is who I am. But, I wanna thank you for all the times that you stood by my family’s side. We really appreciate it, all of us” she said deeply. “Why are you saying this now?” he wondered. “Because, this is goodbye” she said. “What do you mean? You left me a while ago!” he said confused. “Yes, but it’s only getting harder with our families in between and we being in touch whenever something comes up. All that must stop in order for us to be able to get over each other easily.” She explained sadly. “A strong relationship was formed between our families and you can’t just cut it off” he said not liking her thoughts. “It was only formed because we were together. And now, there is no use for it. It has to stop!” she said. “This is Bahrain, Yara. No matter how far we get, things will always bring us back to each other in different ways” he said. “But we have to try. We have to stay away from each other” she begged. “Then you will like what you’re about to hear” he said hurt. “What?” she said turning her head to him with sudden attention. “I might move to Dubai for a year or so” he said with no expression. “Why?” she asked shocked. “Our office is starting up a new branch there and a family member must work on that to give it a strong start” he said. “That’s big” she said. “Yes, but just like you said, we need to stay away from each other” he said getting back at her. She took a deep breath, picked up her bag and stood up, “I wish you the best of luck, wherever you are. Just stay safe..” she said from the bottom of her heart and walked away, leaving him behind in the place that brought them together. He stared at her while she walked away quietly with so many words left unsaid stuck in his throat. But what was the use of speaking now? And the long, separate ways that she asked for, started at that moment..

“I still don’t understand why you sent him an invitation!” said Yara upset while sitting on the floor in Nadia’s shop. “Because it’s so 3aib if I don’t” said Nadia holding a lace ribbon. “But you’re inviting him as who? Someone who I was planning to marry?” she wondered in a silly tone. “You’re so selfish! Just because you broke up with the guy you can’t ask us all to cut relations with him so suddenly. It’s just inappropriate!” said Nadia while cutting the ribbon. “You all did because we were together!” said Yara playing with her shoelace. “Doesn’t make it any different. And you have to get used to seeing him around and dealing with him in a mature way” said Nadia making a bow with the ribbon. “I don’t have to if he’s moving to Dubai!” she said acting careless. “Even if he does. You’ll still see him around and hear his news. You have to know how to deal with that” said Nadia sticking the bow on a small wrapped box. “I hope that he doesn’t come. I think he won’t!” said Yara staring down at her shoes. “I think he will. He’ll think that it won’t be appropriate if he doesn’t” said Nadia holding the box and staring at the bow. “Don’t you think that it could be hurtful for me? Seeing him around?” asked Yara raising her head up. “No, I think it’s a good exercise. Will you get up and help me with the boxes please?” said Nadia handing her the scissors. “A part of me is sad that he might leave Bahrain. It will be easier for us to get over each other though. But, I don’t know. It’s just sad that he won’t be around” said Yara getting up and reaching for the ribbon. “I have a totally opposite situation to deal with. My husband to be has a son and I have to form a relationship with him” said Nadia folding her arms. “He’s just a kid” said Yara. “Yes and that’s the problem. I know it won’t be easy for Mohammed too, to be a good father to a son who’s not living with him. And I have to make it easier for him too” she said worried. “You’ll be fine. You’re sweet and loving by nature” said Yara with her full concentration on the box that she was working on. “I have this fear of becoming the evil woman who stole his dad from his mum” said Nadia. “As long as Reem doesn’t plant that in his head then you won’t be” said Yara finishing her first box. “I need to focus on the opening now. Tomorrow morning the arrangements will arrive and we’ll have all the final touches completed. For now we have to finish these giveaways and arrange that shelf with all the frames” said Nadia heading to it. “What about my photos?” wondered Yara concerned. “You said Santosh will come and hang them tomorrow morning!” said Nadia confused. “Right! I think I’m losing my mind” she said working on another box. “You think your mother was serious about the boarding school?” asked Nadia with a laugh on her face. “Yes, of course she was. It’s typical of her to think of such crazy ideas” said Yara. “It’s a good idea if you can afford it” said Nadia arranging the frames shelf. “I don’t think that Tamara should live away from us. She needs us. And a boarding school in Switzerland will only make her cold and too serious” said Yara. “You have a point. Let’s just focus and finish so we could rest for tomorrow” said Nadia.

“I don’t think that it’s a good idea for him to leave” said Fouzia. “But why? I think there are many reasons why he should” said Sara while playing with her hair, wearing a jalabia and spending the evening with her mum in the living room. “But not even a year has passed since he got back from the States!” said Fouzia sadly. “I know that it’s hard for you and you want him to be around. But think of his career and how that will add a lot to his experience.” Said Sara. “Nothing is worth living away from home!” said Fouzia reaching for her mobile and going through her messages quietly. “This is a reminder about Nadia’s shop opening tomorrow. Shall we go?” asked Fouzia staring at Sara. “I don’t know, don’t feel like it. But we should. Even if we pass by for few minutes it will do” said Sara. “I hope that your brother doesn’t go” said Fouzia concerned. “Why? To avoid seeing Yara?” she wondered. “Yes. I want him to get over her soon since they are not getting back to each other” she explained. “Then why don’t you want him to work in Dubai? He will be away from her for a while and getting over her will be easier.” Said Sara. “That’s right, but I’m being selfish. I want him to be near me” she said. “It’s only Dubai mama, he can come every weekend” said Sara. “Once he settles there he will barely come and visit” she said sure. “We can visit him then. We all need an excuse to go to Dubai” said Sara teasing her.

The day has finally come. Nadia was running around and arranging many last minute details in the shop. She was fully dressed with her make up on and her hair styled in natural waves. The traditional floral short dress that she was wearing was being sold in one corner of the shop and her gold plated Turkish-style earrings encrusted with a Fuchsia stone was also being sold there. The smell of Bukhoor was covering the place and some workers were arranging the flowers that Sajida chose by the entrance of the shop.

“Sorry to be late” said Yara approaching from the parking. “I’ll kill you. Get in quick.” Said Nadia nervous. “I was stuck in traffic. How do I look?” asked Yara walking into the shop. “Good, good” said Nadia without paying much attention. “My pictures” said Yara happily as she stared at the wall behind the counter. She selected five framed photos of her last year New York collection since she had nothing new to display. Two colorful photos were taken in Central Park and the other three were random street photos that screamed New York. “Write the prices of your photos on those labels quick, we’ll need to stick them now” ordered Nadia handing her a sheet of labels and a pen. “Is the Shaikha arriving on time for the opening?” asked Yara. “I don’t know but we better be ready on time.” Said Nadia.

Once all the formalities and the headache of the official opening were over, the crowd felt more relaxed and the environment became more casual. People started to mingle and look around the shop without having to put on a fake smile or an act for the media photographers. Fairouz was singing in the background some chill out classics that added a lot to the atmosphere. “Congratulations. You turned this location into a wonderful place! The touches are just amazing” said a tall woman with rectangle black framed glasses and a boy cut hairstyle. “Thanks aunty. Means a lot” said Nadia and was pulled by another woman from the other side who also said a similar comment.

“You must be tired too ha? But it’s almost over and we’ll all get some peace of mind. Just writing the invitations list got me all stressed out” said Nadia’s mum to Yara, who wasn’t paying much attention and had her eyes fixed on the entrance. Fahad didn’t show up yet. And as much as she wished that he doesn’t come, she wanted him to disappoint her and walk into that door. But he didn’t.

“Dalal! Nice to see you. It’s been a while” said Osama holding a long glass of orange juice and wearing a tight Ralph Lauren Polo that showed off his muscular arms. “I know! I’m fine. Nothing new” she said excited. “You look different. What did you change?” he wondered. “A nose job?” she said teasing. “Hmm no, no.” he said observing her face. “My hair is not blonde anymore” she said. “Oh, right” he said finally noticing. “Needed the change” she said smiling. “It looks better this way” he said nicely. “How are you? How’s the new business?” asked Dalal. “It’s doing well. The market is picking up and I started expanding around The GCC” he said proud. “That’s great! Need to employ someone? I’m getting sick of banking and been looking for a job for a while” she said with one hand on her waist and another carrying her Miu Miu. “Well, my staff are few but we're not hiring at the moment. Plus, your major and experience are totally in a different field” he explained. “Yup, I’m stuck” she said nodding her head. “But you can pass by the office and see how things work. Maybe it will inspire you to find out what you wanna do next. You could take Public Relations courses for example or Human Resources. You can see that on a very small scale in our office” he said gladly. “That would be nice! I definitely will” she said. “OK. You have my number. Call whenever you can make it” said Osama.

“Look at those two! Are they finally getting along with each other?” wondered Nadia staring at Osama and Dalal. “Is he that desperate?” said Yara rudely. “You’re mean! What’s with the mood?” asked Nadia fixing her hair in one of the for-sale mirrors. “Why didn’t he come? To avoid seeing me?” wondered Yara with a hurt look on her face. “Don’t put it this way. You know what you mean to him! And I thought that him coming was a bad idea?” reminded her Nadia. “I just can’t stop thinking and wondering…..” she said but suddenly stopped talking while staring at the door. Nadia looked around to find Fahad, Sara and their mother walking into the door. “I really wish that you wished for a one million dinars!” said Nadia and headed to greet them by the door.

Yara got nervous. She didn’t know how to react to seeing them. As happy as she was to see him, his appearance with his family made her feel embarrassed for some reason. “Hey, how are you?” said Sara approaching her. “I’m OK. Missed you” said Yara quietly as she hugged her back. “Ahlan. Shloanech?” said Fouzia nicely as she followed Sara and kissed Yara. “Wain Sajida?” she asked. “She left. She’s still doesn’t feel like being in public so she came before the opening ceremony and left” said Yara nervously as Sara and Fouzia moved on with their greetings to the rest of the crowd and left Yara and Fahad alone, face to face.

They stared at each other awkwardly for few seconds, too hesitant to even smile. “Are you upset?” she asked quietly and slowly. “No, I’m not” he said and smiled. She smiled back nervously. “We could’ve been here as a couple, and now we are standing in front of each other like total strangers who are trying to make conversation” he said putting on a sweet face that failed to hide his frustration about it. “It’s not meant to be..” she said sadly. He looked in the other direction and was about to walk away but he stopped, “I am moving to Dubai” he said dryly. She stared at him in shock, “is it confirmed?”. “Yes, I leave tomorrow” he said staring her in the eyes. “So, this is goodbye?” she asked with her heart racing. “Yes, I’m afraid so” he said without displaying any emotions. She kept staring at him, her face and eyes were fixed at his. The crowd around her didn’t exist at that moment, they all disappeared in her eyes. As crowded as that room was, no one existed for her except him. Little waves of moistness started appearing in her eyes. And he was about to take a step forward and hold her hand, ask her not to cry, and tell her that everything is going to be fine like he always did. But he didn’t. Those barriers and limits that she’s been building were present between them right then. And he couldn’t break them in that moment of time. “Not every love story has a happy ending..” she said with tears finally streaming down her face. “Goodbye then, Yara..” he said adding a smile after saying her name. He turned around and disappeared between the crowd.

“Look who’s here! This is aunt Yara” said Nadia holding little Khalid’s hand. “What’s wrong?” asked Nadia noticing Yara’s tears. “It’s over. It’s really over” said Yara devastated. “What do you mean? What happened?” asked Nadia waving at Mohammed to come and take Khalid. “He’s leaving.. tomorrow.. what will happen to me now? What will I do? How empty will my life be, without a job, and without him..” she said getting hit by reality. “Yara, this is what you wanted and what you asked for! Didn’t you think about the consequences before?” asked Nadia. “I lost him..” she said with a miserable face expression. “He’s still here Yara. Go and talk to him before it’s too late!” said Nadia trying to look as normal as possible not to make a scene. “I have to leave. I’m sorry. I can’t stay here” said Yara heading to the door. “I’ll come as soon as I’m done” said Nadia concerned. But Yara was in a world of her own. She rushed out of the shop like a ghost, trying to disappear without being noticed.

One month later:

Nadia’s house was getting busier by the minute. The huge tent in the garden was festive with music and white light bulbs were all over the place. Nadia’s mother was supervising the waitresses in the other corner of the yard about the buffet and greeting people at the same time. “Allah ya36eech el3afia” said Sajida who approached Nadia’s mum in a short but tight black dress that revealed the shape of her waist. The sleeves were long and there was a flowery silver brooch right under the v-neck. “I can’t believe that the melcha day is finally here.” Said Nadia’s mum happily. “Tell me, how can I help?” asked Sajida sweetly. “Go check on the bride. I’m sure she needs an elder's supervision” said Nadia’s mum. Sajida patted her shoulder and made her way to Nadia’s bedroom upstairs.

The sound of the classic Zaffa started. All the ladies had their eyes fixed on the entrance of the tent, waiting for the new bride and groom to walk in. Both mothers were standing by the entrance proudly trying to clear the way for the newlywed’s arrival. Nadia walked in and took every woman’s breath away. She was more beautiful than usual in a very classy beige off-shoulder dress. The moment she stepped in, she took two steps to the left and turned around, making way for the bride and groom to walk in…when finally, Yara entered the tent in a long sleeved white lace dress, holding Fahad’s hand….

Fouzia couldn’t stop her tears when she saw her son in a traditional Thoab & Bishit. She got closer to him proudly and hugged him while he kissed her forehead. Yara was extremely nervous, hating to be under the spot light and not believing that after all, it was really happening. Nadia was asking her to smile while fixing her dress every now and then. The dress was very simple. It really revealed Yara’s simple taste in an elegant way.

“So..not every love story has a happy ending?” whispered Fahad in Yara’s ears putting on a huge smile on his face while they stood on stage and endless cameras were flashing at them. “At least not ours” she said raising her head up so he could hear her with all the loud music on. “You happy?” he asked smiling from the heart this time and staring at her. “About facing the world hand in hand? I think I’m more happy about getting the studio back” she teased him and they both laughed. A natural, full of love laugh that all ladies who were staring at them adored.

Sajida walked up to the stage proudly pulling Tamara who was too shy to go up there. She kissed Yara dryly in a typical Sajida way but then kissed Fahad warmly and he kissed her head. “You brought life back to the family” said Sajida holding his arm. Yara was staring at Tamara happily, it’s been a while since she saw her dressed up and laughing. The four of them stood close to each other for a photo and then Fouzia, Sara and her father joined.

The invitees moved outside for the buffet while Yara and Fahad started walking around the tent casually chatting with friends and family here and there. Nadia approached Yara and handed her a glass of water that she requested earlier. “Yalla when is your turn?” asked Fahad excited. “We’re not rushing since we won’t go through all that typical process that you’re going through” teased Nadia. “That’s the Bahraini way!” he said defending. “We’ll cut that short since it’s the second time for both us. Melcha and marriage will be at the same time. So we’ll have to get fully ready with all the preparations” she explained. “It’s my second time too but I am a classic person” he said proudly. Yara offered him some water after drinking half of the glass, he took it gladly and drank the rest.

“I asked Osama to pass by to take pictures together but I don’t see any sign of him!” said Fahad looking at his watch. “He’s on his way!” said Dalal who joined them few minutes ago. The three of them stared at her confused. “He is helping me with my career. We are.. friends.. now” she explained. They nodded smilingly and Yara and Nadia stared at each other laughingly. “Told you. Desperate!” whispered Yara in Nadia’s ear and they both laughed.

Yara and Fahad walked hand in hand to a random empty table in the tent. They sat down and she took a deep breath, “can I take my shoes off? It’s killing me! Can’t stand high heals” she whined. “Wait for few hours! One night in your life and it will pass!” he said. “OK OK” she obeyed annoyed but happy. “Last night you were saying that you didn’t forgive me 100%” he said hinting. “And?” she teased acting dumb. “Today you are officially mine. In front of Allah and the entire world. So is the 100% still less or….?” He wondered. “Well.. honestly?” she teased putting on a serious face. “Honestly” he confirmed. “The moment they told me that the signing was over and we officially belong to each other, I forgot everything..” she said looking at his eyes lovingly. “And everything is back to the lovely Beirut days era?” he asked staring back at her eyes. She nodded, “A new beginning…” she said. He picked up her hand and kissed it, “a new beginning…” he said.

THE END.

Chapter 21, Nightmare

2011-04-21T03:17:00.001-07:00

Forty minutes later:

“The police received a call from an eye witness.” Said Fahad calmly as soon as he ended a phone call. All ladies stared at him waiting for the news eagerly with deep concern. “He saw a man in a pick-up who tried dragging two young girls inside..” he said as calm as possible. “BINTY” screamed Sajida hitting her chest. “He said that they resisted and then another young looking man came out of the car and took them by force” he added staring at the floor. “This doesn’t mean that it’s Tamara. It can’t be” said Yara trying to be positive. “The incident happened in Hamad Town.” Said Fahad. “Hamad Town? Why would Tamara go to Hamad Town? No, it can’t be them!” said Yara nervously. “Didn’t he say more? Like what they were wearing?” asked Fouzia. “That’s all. He will call again as soon as they find out more” said Fahad very concerned but calm. “It’s her. I have a feeling it’s her!” said Sajida breaking down. Fouzia rushed to Sajida and held her with both arms for support, “don’t say that. Inshalla it’s not. Sit down” said Fouzia while pulling her down to sit.

Yara was in denial. She pretended that nothing was going on and she went to the kitchen and got her mum her pills and a glass of water. “Are you ok?” asked Fahad as soon as she turned around. “Yes, why wouldn’t I be? She will call any minute and say that she is in a friend’s house, somewhere!” said Yara confidently and was about to walk away. “OK. Can you listen to me a bit? It’s great that you are being positive about this, but, you have to keep in mind that something might be wrong. Just so you won’t get shocked later” he said nicely. She stared at him in confusion and walked to her bedroom.

When she finally had her own space, she threw herself on bed and lay down for few minutes. She closed her eyes tightly and prayed from the bottom of her heart that a miracle will happen and Tamara will walk through the door. Her heart jumped out of place when she heard two knocks on her door. “Yara, Fatima’s mother called again, she wants to speak to you” said Fouzia behind the door.

“Hello” said Yara after walking through the sitting room heading to the phone right away. “Did you find them?” she wondered in concern. “Not yet. But we are asking around so don’t worry” said Yara in a quiet tired tone. “Me and her father are very scared. He dropped her to your house in the morning so their friend would pick them up and take them to her house in Hamad Town” said the mother. “Hamad Town?” said Yara and automatically dropped on the armchair behind her. Every head in the room was turned towards her. “Yes. But I don’t have their number or address or even full name!” said Um Fatima. “There is something that you should know….” Said Yara with the reality of the situation finally hitting her.

At the same time, Nadia, Mohammed and his two sisters were having dinner in Mezzaluna. Nadia had no idea what was going on in Yara’s house. The place was as quiet as always but perfect for a group who wanted privacy. They dined on one of those tables by the side in an alcove of its own. And after a perfect meal, they enjoyed their conversation while sipping herbal tea.

“I really think that divorce is the right thing to do.” Said Amal, Mohammed’s eldest sister. “That’s just the typical mean you! Don’t you have any consideration for your nephew?” said Hana, Mohammed’s 2^nd sister. “Oh come on, Reem was always left out between us. And Khalid will never get lost, we will manage a way to make him feel balanced between both families. But you can’t sacrifice your brother’s happiness for that reason!” said Amal. “And what will happen to her meskeena? She was a good wife to him after all!” said Hana kindly in a way that showed Nadia her very naïve personality. “She can take care of herself!” said Amal rudely. “You are a devil. Thank god you don’t have kids!” Said Hana and turned to Nadia, “she’s one of those evil old single women” she added. Nadia laughed out loud, “are they always like that?” she asked Mohammed. “Always were, always will” he said with a smile. “You will get used to it with time. And what old woman are you talking about? I’m 40, single and can’t be any happier” said Amal proudly with her short hair and navy blue blazer. “Yes. You don’t have to repeat that 20 times a day” said Hana sarcastically with her straight soft black hair that was held up with a headband. “OK Miss I-can’t-say-no-to-my-kids” said Amal carelessly and sipped her Jasmine Tea. “Enough you two! What impression are you giving to the new member in the family?” said Mohammed jokingly. “Leave my kids alone. They have the most evil aunt on earth and that’s why I’m making it up to them by being extra sweet! A mum and an aunt, two in one!” said Hana defending herself. “How old are your kids?” asked Nadia laughingly. “My girl is 8 and my boy is 6” said Hana proudly. “Remember when she got married? We were together back then” said Mohammed. “Yes. I do.” She said shyly. “Don’t listen to her. I am the nicest aunt anyone could ever have. I took them to Dubai last month and they had a blast” said Amal confidently. “With your rules and restrictions? I doubt it!” said Mohammed proving Hana right and they all laughed.

“It’s Fahad!” said Nadia as she stared at her phone screen, “hello?”. “Hi Nadia” said Fahad in a serious tone. “Hi. What’s going on?” she asked sensing since he is usually more hyper and welcoming. “I think that you should come to Yara’s house now” he said quietly. “Why? You’re there? What’s wrong?” she asked scared. “Tamara is missing. There is a chance that she might be kidnapped” he added. “Oh my God!!” she said in shock and they all stared at her in concern. “Yara is not doing well. She’s pretending to be strong when in fact I know that she is going insane. She’s not listening to me, but I’m sure she’ll listen to you” he said. “Coming now!” she said ending the call.

It was after midnight in Yara’s house. The sitting room was dark with few lamps turned on in some corners. There was a tray of untouched sandwiches on a coffee table and some small bottles of water placed next to each other. Sajida was passed out on one of the sofas after her pills took effect. Fouzia covered her with a light blanket and sat on an armchair reading Quran under one of the lamps. Yara was sitting on the floor and resting her body sideways on the sofa behind her. Nadia was trying to force her to eat a sandwich but she refused by shaking her head slowly. Fahad kept his distance from her. The last thing he wanted was to annoy her or use that situation to win her back. He watched her from a distance and wandered around the house every now and then. He felt responsible for some reason. This family still needed him and he didn’t want to let them down. Not to benefit from it by any way, but more to make it up to them after all the mess he had caused.

“Any news?” said Nadia after following Fahad to the kitchen. “No. Nothing” he said concerned. “How bad is it? Is there anything that I don’t know about?” she asked. “I’m pretty sure that it’s her. Two young girls in Hamad Town! What are the odds?” he said finally getting to open up without considering any feelings. “I know. But we need to put on a positive attitude. If we don’t, they’ll breakdown!” said Nadia scared. “Walla if I catch the one who did this, I’d kill him and cut his body into little pieces!” he said in anger. “You think they’ll find them?” she asked concerned. “I don’t know.. I really don’t” he said shaking his head. “There are a hundred possibilities. They could’ve killed them or raped them or tortured them! How can any human being have the heart to do such a thing?” she said in disbelief. “This country needs to be more strict with some animal-like people.” He said pissed off. Nadia took a deep breath and went back to the sitting room.

“Did he say anything?” asked Yara as soon as Nadia sat next to her. “No, what would he say?” asked Nadia. “Is she dead?” asked Yara with a distant mind. “Why are you saying that? Stop thinking that way!” yelled Nadia trying to control her tone. “I have a bad feeling, a very bad feeling” said Yara with teary eyes. “Of course you will. It’s normal. But on the other hand you have to have some faith! Have faith in Allah and he won’t let you down..” said Nadia and tapped her head.

Five hours later:

It was around 6am. Fahad’s phone rang waking them all up from their very light naps. “Yes?” answered Fahad fast. “Yes.. thank you.. thank you.. we are coming now..” he said and ended the call. “What is it?” asked Yara impatiently. “They found them…” he said.

Fahad walked into the very quiet police station with Sajida and Yara following him. Sajida was holding her Bahraini abaya that was on top of her head with one hand and carrying her Chanel with the other. Yara was so nervous that she left the house with her flip flops, leggings and a white loose I Love Paris T-shirt. The short walk to the police office after entering the station felt long and cold. They didn’t know what to expect. And the white with black and grey stones floor wasn’t friendly enough either.

The moment they stepped into the office, they saw Tamara and Fatima sitting on white plastic chairs next to each other with terrified looks on their faces. Their hair was a mess and their clothes weren’t as neat as they were the day before. Tamara jumped out of her chair when she saw them walking in and ran to Yara with tears suddenly streaming down her face. “Don’t cry. You are safe now.” said Yara squeezing her back without being able to control her tears too. “They locked us in a dark room all day. And there was a dog barking outside” said Tamara weeping. Sajida pulled Tamara out of Yara’s arms, held her face tenderly with both hands and hugged her tight while Yara walked to Fatima and wiped the tears from her still-in-shock face.

“Did you catch them?” asked Fahad in controlled anger. “Yes, and we’ll tell you the whole story” said the police officer. “Mama why don’t you wait with the girls outside? Give them the juice and sandwiches that you packed for them” said Yara nicely. “But I want to know what happened!” demanded Sajida. “We’ll let you know. Please!” she said begging. “OK OK.” She said and led the girls outside while Fahad handed her his car keys.

“How are you related to them?” asked the police officer. “I’m Tamara’s sister” said Yara. “And you?” he asked looking at Fahad. “He’s my husband!” said Yara right away. Fahad stared at her and back at the police officer with a smile that he tried hard to hide. “We caught the two men who kidnapped them. One of them is in his mid 30s and the other late 20s. They probably were planning to ask for a ransom so they didn’t do them any harm” stated the police officer. “7amdella” said Yara relieved. “We found the girls in a locked room in an old house in one of the villages around Hamad Town. The men were only guarding the house and they passed the girls some food. We will question them now and find out more details. But usually in such cases, they wait for a day or two before calling the family for the ransom” said the officer. “But how can they be sure that we won’t call the police?” asked Fahad. “That’s how they always fail! Such cases are very easy to track in Bahrain” said the officer. “Thank you very much. We appreciate your efforts” said Yara. “That’s our job. And we’ll provide you with more details shortly” said the officer.

After dropping Fatima home. Fahad drove to Yara’s house with Yara sitting in the front seat and Sajida holding Tamara in the back. They all were quiet. “Thank you” said Yara quietly turning her head slightly to Fahad. “You know that I’d do anything for you and your family” he said gladly. Silence descended on the car 'till they reached the house. Fahad made sure that they entered the house safe and sound and he left to his house after a long night looking forward to a few hours of deep sleep.

Sajida stayed by Tamara’s side as she showered while Yara went to the kitchen and made her some hot milk. They didn’t ask her about it and made sure to provide her with extra care 'till she gets her strength back. Sajida tucked her into bed after forcing her to drink the whole glass and promised her that she will sleep by her side. Feeling safe and secure, she finally fell asleep.

“I wonder what could’ve happened to us if Fahad wasn’t here for us” said Sajida as they both left Tamara’s room and closed the door slowly. “Yeah.” Said Yara agreeably. “I feel that he is a part of this family already” added Sajida. “His mum stayed by your side all night” said Yara and yawned. “I know that it’s not the right time, but maybe you should reconsider..” said Sajida nicely. “Good night mother.. “ said Yara and walked to her room.

“Fahad!!” said Alia answering her phone. “Hey. 'Sup?” said Fahad lightly. “Great! I’m in Geneva. How are you?” she said. “Don’t you and your family ever get fed up with Geneva?” he asked rudely. “OK what’s with the upset tone?” she asked right away. “Why did you lie to Yara?” he asked upset. “Lie? I didn’t lie. You are the one who lied!” she said blaming him. “She came to you, she trusted you and you should’ve told her the whole truth instead of a one sided story!” said Fahad. “What happened?” she wondered. “It’s over! Thanks to you!” he said. “Oh no. When I told her I thought that she already knew! I was surprised that she didn’t!” said Alia. “And you threw it all on me! Why didn’t you tell her that you had issues too!” he said angry. “Because she doesn’t care about me! You were the topic!” she said defending herself. “Oh come on! It would’ve mattered! Plus, based on WHAT you believe that I am not able to? You know the condition very well and you have no right to totally blame me while you were a big part of it too!” he said losing his temper. “I don’t know! I don’t know why I said that.” Said Alia suddenly nervous. “Fix it! You better call her and explain to her all the possibilities!” he ordered. “Will that fix things?” she asked sarcastically. “Doesn’t matter. You shattered my image and the least you could do is speak some sense to restore it back!” he said. “OK, if it will make you feel any better, I will” she said.

“Yara? How are you? How is Tamara? Is everything ok?” asked Dalal as soon as Yara picked up the phone. “Yes. We are all fine 7amdella.” Said Yara calmly. “I just heard about what happened and I lost my mind. You mind if I visit you later today?” she asked. “You’re welcome anytime” said Yara. “You sound very tired. Do you need anything? Can I get you anything?” she asked whining. “Thanks” said Yara not in the mood to speak much. “You mind me asking about Fahad? What did you end up doing about him?” she asked concerned. “It’s over” said Yara briefly. “Noooooo! I can’t believe it! Are you sure about this?” she asked shocked. “Sorry Dalal but I really don’t feel like talking about it” she said annoyed. “I understand. You must be devastated. First Fahad and then Tamara!” said Dalal. “And I sold the studio!” added Yara. “WHAT! I am coming to you right now..” said Dalal overwhelmed.

Sara and her mother were having a coffee break in Gloria Jean’s City Center. Fouzia was very stressed after all what had happened last night and she needed to go out for a change. “And you said no right away? Are you insane?” said Fouzia when Sara told her about Osama. “What was I suppose to say?” said Sara confused. “Say what every girl says in that situation. Give me time to think and I will get back to you” said Fouzia in a duh tone. “But I didn’t need time! I know for sure that it’s impossible!” said Sara. “But why? You think that you will ever find a better man than Osama?” asked Fouzia with her confusion growing. “He is not my type!” said Sara in confidence. “What type? There are two types of men, a good man and a bad man. He is a good man and that is his type.” Said Fouzia. “You’re funny. A “type” means much more than that” said Sara. “Stay single forever then. If each and every one of you has her own type then I doubt that this generation will ever reproduce another one!” said Fouzia. “You will never understand. But please don’t tell Fahad and let’s close this topic forever. I don’t like him that way, he is more like a brother to me and I can’t change that” explained Sara. “Stupid. That’s all I can say!” said Fouzia and sipped her coffee.

Two days later:

Nadia walked into her shop to find a huge and beautiful arrangement. She knew who it was from, but what she didn’t know was the occasion. She looked for the card between all the pink roses and white lily’s. She pulled it and opened it slowly and excitedly:

I just signed the divorce papers. I am now a free man and I entirely belong to you and only you. Love you..

Mohammed.

Chapter 20, Losses

2011-04-14T03:17:00.000-07:00

“We are here today to propose to your daughter” said Um Mohammed. The sitting room, that was absolutely full of people when Nawaf proposed to Nadia, was nearly empty. Mohammed and Nadia’s mothers were sitting on one sofa while Mohammed’s two sisters sat next to each other on separate armchairs. In addition to Nadia’s two aunts who were in and out supervising the maids and checking on Nadia who was upstairs in her room waiting to be called.

“I don’t know what to tell you. The situation is not as perfect as we all wish it was. Our daughter is divorced and your son is married. But what can we do. They are grown ups and we can’t stand in their way” said Nadia’s mother. “You are right. I am very worried about my grandson getting lost between all of this. At the same time I know how much Mohammed loved Nadia since they were in college and I saw how unhappy he was with Reem” admitted Um Mohammed. “And if this will bring him back to Bahrain and give him a more settled life then why stand in his way?” said Mohammed’s eldest sister. “I was very ashamed of my daughter being a second wife and getting between a man and his family. But with time I am understanding the situation more and more. Your family is known to be a good family and therefore we have no objection” said Nadia’s mum. Right at that moment, Nadia’s aunt rushed upstairs to call Nadia. She found her standing next to the stairs with Yara in a beautiful short yellow dress with a bow on her waist. “Come down now!” said the aunt reaching half way up and went back down.

“You are one hell of a lucky woman. Just when you finish your 3idda you get proposed to all over again” teased Yara. “Oh come on, what is about to happen was supposed to happen long years back” said Nadia nervously. “I’m so happy for you” said Yara and hugged her tightly with teary eyes.

The Studio, 8:00pm:

Boxes were stacked all around the place with thick brown packing tape sealing them up carefully. Yara and Santosh were arranging the store, gathering similar paintings together, rolling some unframed posters and tearing up some old unneeded ones. Nothing was left on the walls. They were as bare as they were back when Yara first got the studio. The desk stood alone since the armchairs were moved out already. The place that was once alive with art and music was now lifeless. And every minute that Yara spent in it was choking her and breaking her heart into pieces.

“I think that’s enough for today Santosh” said Yara supporting her tired back. “OK Madame. You want to take those two cartoons with you?” he asked pointing to the cartoons that were placed on top of each other next to the door. “Yes, I need to take those two to Nadia’s shop. I will open the car's trunk for you” she said picking up her keys and heading out. The moment she opened the door and stepped out she froze in her spot. To her surprise, Fahad was walking towards the café and he slowed down once he saw her. He walked towards her slowly while she stood where she was. “Hi” he said quietly. “Hey” she replied with her face full of unspoken emotions. “Madame?” said Santosh carrying one of the heavy cartoons next to Yara’s car. “Sorry!” she said turning towards the car and pressing on her remote car key. “How are you?” asked Fahad with his fists clenched by his side. “Clearing off the studio. You can imagine how I feel..” she said sadly. “Do you..need help?” he asked formally and hesitantly. “I’m fine.. thanks” she said and moved her hair off of her face. “Madame, I’m done. I am going” said Santosh. “OK Santosh, I will lock the door, Thanks” she said staring at the floor.

“I miss you” said Fahad as soon as Santosh walked away. “Let’s not go there.. The studio is sold and you will get your money back. You will no longer be seeing me by coincidence around this area..” she said sadly but firmly. “I still want you Yara and you know it! You know how much I love you and that there is no one else I’d rather be with” he said passionately. “Again, please let’s not go there. It’s over. Everything is over.” Said Yara harshly. “I deserve a valid reason. Talk! Explain!” he demanded. “A reason? You know what you’ve done, why do I have to repeat it to you!” she said with attitude. “What is it that you can’t forgive? This is what I demand to know” he said. “OK! You wanna know? Fine. I lost trust in you. How can I trust you again? You lied to me about one of the biggest issues that we might have to face! How do you expect me to trust you again? Imagining our future life together, I can’t see myself believing in whatever you’ll say..” she said in a mix of anger and pain. “How many times do I have to explain! I did this only to protect our relationship! I did it because I love you and I didn’t want anything to come in between us especially when it’s something uncertain.” He said trying to sound convincing. “No matter what your intentions were, it only led to me losing trust in you. And I can’t fix it.. I just can’t..” she said and walked back to the studio.

He tried to follow her, but she shut the door roughly in a way that clearly warned him to stay away. She sat on the floor, rested her back on one of the packed boxes and hugged her knees. She was tremendously sad and utterly broken. There wasn’t any starting point for her weeping, she just found herself in the middle of a very miserable state of mind with her tears pouring out. In a matter of one week, she lost the two most precious things to her; the love of her life and her career. And right at that moment, she saw no sign of hope, no better options and no turning back. The End was written all over the walls around her in that semi dark room, that was once called the studio.

She sensed the presence of someone at the door. Someone who was standing right outside and being hesitant about walking in. She knew who it was. And she was hoping that she could run to him fast, throw herself in his arms and tell him how life has no meaning whatsoever without him. But she couldn’t. She felt like her hands were bound with a chain, her legs were tied with a thick rope and her mouth was covered tightly with a piece of material. Moving was impossible. And not a single start-over sign was sensed or felt right then. She cried until she felt every single drop of liquid leaving her body through her eyes. The person who was behind the door made his decision and left. And she was left all alone with her tears and the boxes around her.

“Hello?” answered Sara. “Hala Sara, shloanech?” said Osama politely. “Zaina. How are you?” she asked in her usual quiet tone. “I’m good. Am I calling at a wrong time? Or can we talk now?” he wondered. “La it’s ok. Tell me” she said coldly. “How’s everything? How’s work?” he asked to avoid jumping into the conversation right away. “All is good. Same old. Nothing new” she answered not bothered. “Great. Fahad told you that I’m calling to ask about someone right?” he asked finally. “Yes. Let’s see if I can help” she said jokingly. “Alright. Hmm, how can I describe her to you!” he teased. “Don’t you even know her name?” she wondered. “I do. But I wanna know if you’ll be able to guess who she is” he teased again. “Hit me” she said starting to get annoyed. “She’s petite and cute” he said excited. “That is how most Bahraini girls are!” she said with no interest in the conversation. “Hmm. I’ve known her since she was a little girl” he hinted. “Your cousin or friend or something?” she asked. “Close” he said. “Just say the name Osama!” she said getting fed up. “Come on you’re too close. One more guess. Her name starts with the letter S” he said with a grin. “What? Please tell me that you are not talking about me?” she said shocked. “I am..” he confirmed quietly. “You can’t be serious!” she screamed. “I am serious. You are a very good girl. Why go far? My business is growing and I can provide you with a good and decent life.” he said casually. “Osama! We grew up together. You’re more like a big brother to me! Does Fahad know about this?” she wondered in disbelief. “No, I wanted to talk to you first and it seems like it was the right thing to do” he said disappointed. “Please don’t get me wrong. I’m sorry if I sounded mean. You are a great guy and almost every girl I know wishes to be with you. But me? I don’t see you that way, and I don’t think that I ever will. I’m so sorry.” She said in an apologizing tone. “It’s OK. You don’t have to apologize and I really appreciate your honesty” he said saddened. “But I can hook you up with girls who are even better than me” she said sweetly and teasingly. “It’s fine, really. I will not tell Fahad about this but if you want to do so feel free” he said. “I won’t. Of course I won’t” she said trying to be considerate.

“I’m sorry for showing up so suddenly” said Um Fahad as soon as she was seated in the sitting room. “7ayach Allah anytime. You don’t have to apologize” said Sajida sitting next to her with an upset face. “Is Yara here?” she asked. “No, she is not.” answered Sajida clearly not interested. “I am very sad to be honest with you. Knowing how much Fahad loves her and how sad he is right now breaks my heart” confessed Um Fahad. “We are all sad. But what can we do?” said Sajida with a pale face. “I want to speak to Yara. Maybe I could convince her to change her mind” she said hopefully. “Yara is stubborn! Once she makes her mind about something there is no way that she will break her word” explained Sajida. “What about you? How do you feel about it?” asked Um Fahad concerned. “I’ve never been as happy as I was last week. I felt safe for having a man to rely on in the family. But now and after all what happened I am glad that it’s not happening” said Sajida suddenly switching to a mean mood. “Glad?” asked Um Fahad confused. “Yes! How can I not be? My daughter was about to be fooled into this marriage!” Sajida burst out. “No, not at all. He wasn’t fooling her!” said Fahad’s mum getting defensive. “Then what do you call hiding a fact as big as this?” she asked disgusted. “It’s not a fact! It’s just a small possibility that is far from being proven or something to be fooled about” explained Um Fahad with rising tension. “You will still defend him no matter what. He is your son!” said Sajida while the maid came holding a tray with two glasses of watermelon juice on it.

“You know how I was against this marriage at first. But then I met you and Yara, and saw how happy Fahad was. Trust me when I say that nothing else mattered to me at that moment” said Um Fahad after sipping the juice. “I was against it too but it was all replaced with extreme happiness later on. Now I’m just hurt to see how broken my daughter is and there is no one to blame but your son” said Sajida honestly with the glass of juice untouched infront of her.

Yara walked in the house right then. She paused in her place when she saw Fahad’s mum sitting infront of her. She then gathered her strength, walked closer to her and kissed her on both cheeks. “Shloanech bintey?” asked Um Fahad as she pulled Yara to sit next to her and wrapped her arms around her by the side. Yara remained quiet while the mother patted her shoulder and rubbed it. “You are my daughter in law and I can’t give that up” said the mother passionately but Yara remained silent. “Is it really worth all this? You both love each other and make each other happy. Why let it go? Please think carefully. Don’t do anything that you’ll both regret later” she said lovingly and caringly. “I can’t..It’s better this way..And it will get easier with time” said Yara hardly speaking.

The land line of the house rang. Sajida stretched to reach for it and picked it up, “Yes?” she answered sharply. “Salam 3elaikum. Is this Tamara’s mum?” said a woman. “Yes. Who is it?” asked Sajida roughly. “I am her friend Fatima’s mother. I’m sorry to disturb you but is Fatima around? I’ve been calling her since morning but she is not answering” said the mother. “Fatima? I.. don’t know.. this is a bad time..” said Sajida and was about to hang up, “who is it?” asked Yara while getting up and grabbing the phone off her mum’s hand, “Hello?”. “Yara?” asked the mother. “Yes. Are you Fatima’s mother?” asked Yara double checking. “Yes I am sorry for disturbing you but I’m really worried about Fatima. Is she and Tamara around?” asked the mother. “Give me a minute, I will check and call you back” said Yara as she ended the call and rushed to Tamara’s room. She didn’t find anyone inside.

“When was the last time you’ve seen her?” asked Yara questioning the maid. “Morning. Their friend’s driver picked them up from here” said the maid. “Which friend? Did you see the car?” asked Yara angry. “No Madame” answered the maid scared. “Her phone is off” said Sajida while she was calling continuously and wandering around the hall. “9alo 3ala el niby I’m sure she is fine. She’s a teenager” said Um Fahad but they were too worried to give her any attention. “It’s 8pm! Where would they be since this morning!” wondered Yara. “Last time this happened we found her in Amwaj!” said Sajida complaining. “But she learned her lesson and has been calling me wherever she goes since then!” confessed Yara.

“Fahad, Tamara and her friend have been missing since morning. They are very worried now and I think that you should help” said Um Fahad calling him secretly. “Where are you now?” asked Fahad scared. “Their house. They can’t reach them on their mobiles and they have no idea where they could be. I think that you should come..” said the mother.

Fifteen minutes later:

“I called my friend, he works with the police. He will look for their names in hospitals and police stations and let me know as soon as he finds out” said Fahad as soon as he reached Yara’s house.

Twenty minutes later:

“Names not found..” said Fahad tensed putting his phone down..

Chapter 19, Reality

2011-04-07T02:04:00.001-07:00

Nadia’s dream of owning a shop was coming to reality at the wrong time. With all of what was going on with her and Mohammed, her family being abroad and Yara’s issues, she didn’t have the time nor the clear mind to give this shop what it deserves. In addition to that, the location of the shop wasn’t as practical as she thought when she decided to rent it. It was the perfect place to be for an actual shop that stands alone in a street, but it wasn’t one of the safest locations in Bahrain and rioters would often hit it when a political situation arises.

She decided to delay the opening of the shop till things got settled for everyone. It was almost ready with 90% of the items in place. Being in Munich for few days was a good chance to buy some missing and needed stuff for the shop. So she went to the shop on Sunday morning to drop the things she bought and arrange some other stuff.

“There you go” said Yara as she handed her a takeout sandwich from Starbucks. “Thank you. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, my appetite is always open!” said Nadia as she took the sandwich gladly. “Eat! It’s the only guaranteed pleasure in life” said Yara. Nadia laughed, “Someone is upset!” she said. “I feel like I’m at war with my own self. I couldn’t sleep last night” said Yara. “Still can’t make up your mind?” asked Nadia taking a bite. “No, and having a limited time to think about it is putting me under pressure” said Yara annoyed. “You are the one who told him that you only need a day or two to think more!” said Nadia. “Yes, only because it won’t look nice to delay the proposal again. This time it’s either that we go for it or we just forget about it” said Yara playing with a pen that she picked up from the counter. “I don’t agree with you. Take all the time that you need and delay the proposal if you have to. If they delayed it last time then you have every right to delay it this time!” said Nadia. “Not only that, I don’t wanna live in this confusion for long. I have to make up my mind and move on” said Yara. “Just think of what made you be together in the first place.” Suggested Nadia. “Not enough reasons. When I try to pass the lying part, I think about the risk of not having children.” Said Yara. “I thought that it won’t be a big deal to you” said Nadia. “Me too, but now I realized that it is. When you love someone you want to have a family with him” said Yara passionately. “So if you find out, in any way, that he is able to give you children, will you go for it?” asked Nadia. “It gets confusing when you put it this way. Because I see him as a liar now and maybe we’ll face some trust issues” said Yara jumping on the counter to sit.

“I feel this wall is a bit empty. Would you care to get some of your photos here? For decoration and selling too!” suggested Nadia while staring at the wall behind the counter. “Sure, I’m selling the studio anyway” said Yara reminding her. “Leave that issue for now. Get back to it once you’re done with this complicated proposal that is taking forever” said Nadia being sarcastic. “Maybe it’s a sign! When things don’t go smoothly, it means that it’s not meant to be” said Yara thinking deeply. “But I see you trying which is really good. You called Dalal! That was big. Shows how much you want to fix this” said Nadia proudly. “Dalal is not a big deal. Since she came to the studio to apologize that day, I’ve been feeling guilty. She was right, she made sense when she said that we don’t have to be best friends but we don’t have to stay out of each others lives either” said Yara. “Yeah that’s right. I don’t want to be close to her again too. Respecting the limits is always the best solution when it comes to these things” said Nadia while arranging some little books on a shelf. “Did I make a mistake by going to her and telling her about it?” wondered Yara. “No, you needed to do that and it’s ok since she’ll remain a friend after all. But I wouldn’t tell her about Mohammed,” Said Nadia. “Yes, we learned our lesson and should be careful” said Yara.

Nadia’s phone rang. She put down the little books and rushed for her phone that was placed on the counter next to Yara. “Hello” she answered. “Hey you” said Mohammed. “Hey” she said quietly and happily to hear his voice. “I have some news for you” he said excitedly. “What?” she asked impatiently. “I’m moving back to Bahrain next week” he said smiling. “Next week? How? That fast?” she panicked. Mohammed laughed, “Why so nervous?” he asked. “I dunno you’ve been away for years. I thought that it will take you much longer to move back” she explained. “I resigned today. It’s a one-day notice only so I’m already out of work. Will need a week to finalize everything else and that’s it” he said. “Wow.” She said shocked. He laughed again, “You’re so scared” he said. “No, not that but what about Reem?” she wondered. “She knows that we are moving back. I told her so she could arrange herself. But I will talk to her about you today” he said. “Oh. Please don’t hurt her. Be nice and considerate” said Nadia guiltily. “I will try my best” he said promising.

It was lunch time in Yara’s house. The dining table was set with a long plate of Safi fish and another one, just as long, with steamed rice on it. There was a tray with a jug of lemon juice and three transparent purple glasses. And just when the maid came carrying a bowl of salad, Yara entered the house. “Yalla we barely have time. We have to go get the chocolate and I want to pass by the tailor” said Sajida walking towards the dining table. “Is Tamara back from school yet?” asked Yara walking straight ahead to the dining table. “Not yet, but we have to eat now and leave. I don’t have time to waste” said Sajida sitting on her usual chair with her hair wrapped in few hair rollers. “There is something that you should know” said Yara casually as she sat down. “What?” asked Sajida while pouring herself some juice. “There is a chance that this marriage won’t happen” said Yara casually while picking up a fish by its tail. “Not a good time for jokes” said Sajida and took a sip of the juice nonchalantly. “If I go ahead with it, there might be a possibility that you won’t become a grandmother until Tamara gets married” said Yara while putting some rice on her plate. “What the hell are you talking about?” said Sajida putting the glass down and sensing the seriousness of the topic. “What I just said! I've found out some things recently and now I have to reconsider” said Yara still very casual while cutting the fish. “What do you mean a possibility?” asked Sajida shocked. “He couldn’t with Alia” said Yara filling her mouth with rice and fish. “And why is this new to you? How come we didn’t know before?” asked Sajida in disbelief. “This is what we got to deal with now and the decision is in my hand. To take the risk or not” she said looking at her mother’s face for the first time today. “Laish? Laish ya rabby laish? Just when things got better for us! What will we do now! What will we do!!” wailed Sajida. “Calm down. I didn’t say that I changed my mind. I’m still thinking about it” said Yara and continued eating. “Are you crazy? This is a big risk!” screamed Sajida. “Yes, but you know how much I love him and how good he is. If I’m still confused it’s only because he lied and didn’t tell me about it” she explained. “This can’t be true. I need my Xanax. Where are my pills!!” panicked Sajida while getting up and rushing to her bedroom without having a single bite.

Yara’s careless mood suddenly switched to depression and anxiety. She stopped eating, took a deep breath and rested her head back on the chair. She’s right..This can’t be true.. She thought..

Mohammed and his little family were spending the afternoon in Harrods kids section on the 4^thfloor. They bought some children books for Khalid and then headed to The Diner for lunch. After finishing their lunch, the kid was busy with his books, turning the pages and staring at the colorful pictures. “Did you contact the shipping company?” asked Mohammed. “Yes, I’ll need a few days to pack up so I asked them to come two days before we leave” said Reem. “That’s better. I have to pack all the books for shipping too. We’ll have a lot to do this week!” said Mohammed. Reem looked away in concern for few moments and looked back at Mohammed, “Say it..” she said. “Say what?” asked Mohammed surprised. “I know that you have something to say to me. Just say it!” she demanded. “You know me too well” he said staring at the table. “What’s this all about? Moving back all of a sudden? You even changed, you’re no longer frustrated and annoyed as you always were. You suddenly became calm and focused. I know for sure that something has come up” she explained. “You are right and I was planning to talk to you about it today.” He said calmly. She stared at him anxiously, waiting for the bad news to hit her. “I…am…getting married” he said carefully. She didn’t blink an eye and kept staring at him with her eyes fixed on his. “I’m so sorry. I am so so sorry..” he added. As much as she was sure that what he was about to say was bad, she didn’t expect it to be that bad. She breathed heavily, still in shock with words getting lost in her head and between her lips. She tried to say something but she ended up mumbling some unclear words in a failed attempt to speak. “Take your time. You don’t have to say anything right now, let me explain to you more” said Mohammed trying to control the situation. “You don’t have to consider my feelings…my feelings…were never considered, as I’ve always given you the freedom to live your life with no obligations. But…what about this boy? Doesn’t he deserve to be considered?” she said finally being able to let out her rage after few minutes of shock. “I thought about it. Of course I thought about both of you. Nothing will change, we will still be a family” he said trying to sound reasonable. “What do you think I am? A machine or some robot with no feelings? How on earth are you seriously believing that nothing will change?! You made your decision and you expect me to be completely fine with it? How selfish of you! How disgusting” she burst out. Mohammed was taken aback with Reem’s angry reaction. The dragon inside of her was unleashed and he was seeing a new side of her that he has never seen before. He didn’t know how to react, especially that they were in public and with their little son sitting in between them. “Is it Nadia?” she asked with her face covered with rage. “Yes” he answered quietly. “I’ve always hated this girl because I felt that she was up to something” she said sharply. “Nadia is a nice person and I am the one who wants this! She tried hard to refuse just for the sake of you and Khalid. So don’t you say that about her!” he said defending her. “You never got over her. You think that I don’t sense it every single day or see it in your eyes?” she said with deep hurt. “I tried. And you know it very well, you know how much I tried..” he said embarrassed. “I spent the past few years of my life believing in you and having hope that you will come to your senses. But..what a waste..” she said shaking her head. “Reem, you are an understanding and mature person and that’s why I am not doing this behind your back. I decided to be honest with you because I was sure that you will understand like you always do.” He said trying to calm her down. “Don’t even try and justify it. It is impossible, impossible to continue living with you..” she said as she realized it. “Don’t say that! Making a decision when you’re this angry is not right. You will regret it later” he said. “No, never! The time has come for me to wake up from this long nightmare! The day you marry her will be the day we get a divorce!” she said and stood up, gathered Khalid’s books, carried him and walked away, leaving Mohammed with a mini twister inside his head. He waived to the waitress to get the bill, picked up his phone and called Nadia right away.

“How did it go?” asked Nadia as soon as she picked up the phone. “She asked for a divorce!” he said quietly and sadly. “Oh no! That’s really bad! I told you..I told you from the very beginning.. this was a bad idea!!” she said in guilt. “Don’t say that. I felt an anger that was locked up in her for years. This only triggered it. Don’t blame yourself, it was going to happen sooner or later” he said comforting her and himself. “No matter what you say, I will still blame myself for this” she said sadly. “Please don’t. Maybe she will change her mind once she calms down. We both have to sacrifice for Khalid after all” said Mohammed. “So what will happen now?” she wondered. “I’ll give her some time to think. But if she insists, then let it be.. You and I will never separate..” he assured her.

Sara was parking her car in the garage when Fahad was on his way out of the house. He waited till she parked and met him by the entrance. “Where were you?” he asked. “With the girls. Why?” she asked. “Bas. No one is home and I’m heading out” he said. “Never mind. Any updates with Yara?” she asked. “No. We didn’t speak today.” He said quietly. “You are getting what you deserve! I warned you about lying but you just keep on doing so! I’d do the same if I was in her shoes! And imagine if someone did that to me, won’t you be upset?” she asked. “Don’t make it any worse. By the way, Osama needs to talk to you about something.” He said carelessly. “What about?” she asked wondering. “I don’t know. It’s probably about a girl you might know. I didn’t pay much attention, not the right time for it” he said staring at his phone screen. “He can call me anytime.” She said and headed inside the house.

One week later:

“We are here today to propose to your daughter..” said Um…..

Chapter 18, Patience

2011-03-24T01:56:00.000-07:00

Osama was a practical man who spends his days at the office till a late hour of the day. In contrast to his best friend Fahad, he thinks twice about every step before he takes it. Starting a business of his own was a step made after realistic plans and deep studies of the market. And to give this business a fair share of attention and effort, he didn’t hesitate to make it his priority and spent a great deal of time at work. Even when it comes to love and social life, Osama was always practical and realistic. He met Yara, he liked her, he talked to her friend, and then he talked to her right away for a clear final answer. And when he found out that it was an impossible case, he got over it immediately. This was his practical way of looking for stability and settlement. Some girls or even guys thought of that habit to be boring. He only liked Yara because she was right infront of him. Not because of any special characteristics, but only because he has seen in her a good example of a lifetime companion.

“I have two meetings with potential clients in Abu Dhabi next week. I hope it works out” said Osama while spending the evening with Fahad in Coco’s outdoor area. “Expanding your services out of the country ha!” said Fahad impressed. “Why not! It’s been a while since I started and the projects I have here are small. My networking can help me reach out for clients around the GCC and I want to use that” said Osama. “That’s great. It’s a good move” said Fahad. “Let’s hope it works. I’m putting a lot of effort in the presentations. I want to deliver a professional image to them” explained Osama. “Why don’t you get ISO certified? That will enhance the trust in your business” suggested Fahad. “I was thinking about it, but we’ll need to develop more procedures for that so I feel it’s too soon” said Osama & took a sip of the lemon juice that was placed infront of him in a long transparent glass. “Are you planning on going for your marriage proposal next week? Other than the women part?” asked Osama while placing his juice back on the table. “Don’t know yet. Once the women go they get to decide” he said. “I’ll be away for a couple of days only anyway” said Osama. “Can’t wait for tomorrow’s match.” Said Fahad as a guy who was wearing a Manchester United t-shirt passed by. “Yeah man you will be playing against Liverpool, get ready for a big loss” said Osama daringly. “You Liverpool fans are freaks! Too passionate” said Fahad laughing. “Manchester United is for girls” said Osama teasingly. “Girls? I am a Manchester United fan who is getting married for the second time while you never did!” said Fahad getting back at him. “I don’t have time. I’m a busy man. A career oriented man.” said Osama acting all-important. “Why don’t you marry Dalal? I’m sure she won’t mind” joked Fahad. “I say let’s leave before we start a fight” said Osama as he waved to the waitress to get the check.

Nadia got back to the hotel while her parents were resting in the sitting area of their suite with a basket of fruits infront of them. The volume of the TV was so high that she heard the Syrian accent of a dubbed Turkish Series before she opened the door. “Come here” said the father as soon as she stepped in and lowered the volume. “Ha? What did you decide?” he asked as she sat down. Nadia didn’t answer, she took off her coat and woolen hat quietly and slowly. “Te7achay!” said the mother impatiently. “Will you accept, if, we decided to go for it?” she asked with no expression on her face. “Ya binty! Don’t put yourself in such complicated situations” said the mother upset. “I went for the most normal scenario before and I ended up getting a divorce! I’m not going to stick to the rules anymore, I want to do what feels right and not what looks right!” said Nadia fed up. “Calm down both of you! Now is not the time to argue” said the father. “Why?” wondered Nadia. “Enough talk for today. We talked about it enough for now and we should give ourselves some time before we jump to the next stage. Let’s sleep on it and tomorrow we’ll discuss it with a clearer mind. I’m out of here!” he said and stood up. “Where are you going?” asked the mother. “Meeting a friend” he said as he wore his overcoat and left the room.

“Tell me” said Nadia as soon as her father left. “What do you want me to tell you?” asked the mother upset with her eyes fixed on TV. “Why are you upset?” asked Nadia calmly. “Because I don’t understand how you want to cause a family trouble! You think that the wife and son will survive this? Never!” she said in anger. “But why are you thinking of the wife and son and discarding him? He was clear about how he’ll take care of them!” said Nadia. “And you really think that it will work? How naïve are you? You will be an intruder and no one will accept you! Not even his family! Does his parents know about this? Are they ok with it?” she said in frustration. “Mama! Focus! We said that this is a first step only. And once you accept it we’ll move to the next stage” said Nadia annoyed. “And what if we don’t?” asked the mother daringly. “I’m almost 29 years old and I am divorced! I’m mature and with enough experience to know what I want to do!” she said confidently. “You can never get enough experience! No one knows better than your parents!” said the mother still upset. “And Baba didn’t object yet. If he was totally against the idea he could’ve said no from the very beginning! But he is being patient and not jumping to conclusions” said Nadia. “He is doing that because he doesn’t want to hurt you. He wants you to think and understand by yourself!” said the mother.

Nadia’s phone rang cutting of the conversation. “Hello?” answered Nadia and walked away from her mother. “Every time you travel a disaster happens to me!” said Yara blaming her. “What happened now?” she asked quietly. “I think that I’m being fooled and I’m rushing into this marriage!” said Yara disgusted. “Fooled?” asked Nadia confused. “He lied! AGAIN!” screamed Yara. “What did Alia tell you?” asked Nadia. “Remember how he told me that the reason they got divorced was because she didn’t want children? HE LIED” she screamed again. “What did she say?” asked Nadia again. “That…he is not able.. to be a father” said Yara in shock as if it was just hitting her. “What is this non sense!! I’m sure she is lying. Why are you believing her?” wondered Nadia. “No, no, I believe her. He lied before. And I sensed it this time. Every time I talked about her he got nervous” said Yara frustrated. “Still, you can’t believe her and dismiss Fahad completely. Hear him out” said Nadia. “I don’t know what to do. I am so angry and shocked that I am shaking now” she said nervously. “Calm down and think wisely. I know it’s not easy because if this is true…” she said and Yara interrupted her, “This lie is big, this is something that I won’t be able to forgive. What if it’s true and I only found out after marrying him? If he was honest with me then the hell with children, I’d marry him no matter what. But to hide something as big? This is huge!” she said getting more shocked with each word. “Do you want to confront him?” asked Nadia calmly. “No, I don’t want to be fooled again. At the same time, I really want to see his reaction and hear his excuse!” she said. “Don’t rush. It might not be true after all. I think that you should give yourself some time to calm down and then talk to him” suggested Nadia. “I don’t know what to think anymore. The proposal is in few days and…uufffff” said Yara and started crying. “I’m sorry I’m not there” said Nadia guiltily. “I need to be alone now. I’ll talk to you later” she said quietly. “Yara, I know you too well. You will get all angry now, scream and make the issue bigger than it really is. For once, don’t! Try to resolve and not ruin” said Nadia sweetly. “OK OK” said Yara. “I’m heading to the airport in few hours and should arrive in the early morning. Stay sane till then” said Nadia.

Yara was driving home when she was talking to Nadia. She suddenly changed her direction and drove to the studio in order to avoid seeing her mother. She wanted to deal with this on her own without the interference of anyone. So she drove quietly at a very slow speed till she reached the studio praying that Fahad won’t be around.

Santosh was there moving from one place to the other as usual. It was around 7pm, so she asked him to leave for the day and she took over. The studio was small in size but rich in content. It was a rectangular space, with a small see-through door as the entrance on one side. The armchairs were placed in the corner between two walls with framed paintings and themed photos. The walls were not painted, she meant to leave them as they were, bare with just the cement. It reflected an artistic natural look on the studio and it directed the attention of the viewer to the photos right away. The flooring was dark brown parquet that added a vintage touch to the whole place. Her desk was classic, wooden and tiny with a flat screen computer and different pieces of funky accessories.

She walked to the wall facing the door and stared at a framed postcard of the Drowning Girl painting that she got from Museum of Modern Art in New York. The painting was a comic drawing of a woman who was drowning in her own tears with a bubble saying: I don’t care. I’d rather sink than call Brad for help. She stared at the woman carefully, at her blue hair and her hand that was calling for help out of all the tears that surrounded her whole face. But yet, she resisted, and refused to call Brad for help. She was always curious to know the story behind that painting. Who’s Brad? And what did he do to her that hurt her that bad? She never figured it out. And today, out of all days, she felt the connection. She found herself somewhere in that painting. The possibility of Fahad lying again, a lie that wasn’t just a lie but a life changing matter, made her feel like she was sinking, just like the Drowning Girl. Something in that painting spoke to her and enlightened her. Calling Fahad to figure out the truth wasn’t the right thing to do. The Drowning Girl was smart enough not to call Brad, and so thought Yara. She decided to get help from another source, and so she reached for her phone and called Sara.

“I need you to tell me the whole story behind Fahad’s divorce” said Yara after picking Sara up and going for a drive. “Didn’t he tell you already?” wondered Sara. “He did. But so did she” said Yara quietly with a quick stare at Sara. “You talked to Alia?” asked Sara. “Yes. And Fahad doesn’t know” said Yara. “Can you park somewhere or can we go sit somewhere? It’s dangerous to drive and discuss a sensitive issue like that” requested Sara.

Yara was driving along Adhari highway. She turned right by the waterfall and then again right towards Veranda. She parked infront of the strip with all the shops, opened the widows and turned off the engine, “Tell me” she said turning to Sara. “First you have to tell me what you have heard from both sides” said Sara. “No. I want to know what you know first.” Said Yara. “But I don’t want you to get more confused. Tell me so I could put it in the right context while telling you” said Sara. “Won’t make a difference.” Insisted Yara. “As you wish. You know that they had issues conceiving right?” asked Sara. “I only found out today” said Yara. “Today?!” wondered Sara. “Yes. Alia told me assuming that I already knew” said Yara disappointed. Sara got suddenly nervous, “You need to tell me what Fahad told you about this” said Sara. “Nothing” admitted Yara. “Then how did he explain his divorce?” wondered Sara. “He said that she didn’t want any children. He lied, right?” asked Yara looking at Sara in the eyes. “What did Alia say exactly?” asked Sara. “She said, that.. he is not able to” said Yara in difficulty. Sara took a deep breath, “This is not exactly right” she said. “What do you mean?” asked Yara with a spark of hope in her eyes. “They both had problems. They went through many tests but it didn’t work out so we don’t really know who’s able and who’s not!” said Sara. “But…there must be clear results for those tests!” said Yara confused. “It was complicated, for both. I’m shocked that Alia didn’t admit that she had problems too!” said Sara. “Doesn’t matter. He lied again!” said Yara in disbelief. “I’m sure that he didn’t mean any harm” said Sara defending Fahad. “No. No. This is more than harm. This is more like dragging me into a life where he had no idea where it’s going himself!!” said Yara. “Don’t jump to conclusions. They both had problems so it’s normal that they weren’t able to conceive together. Doesn’t mean that they can’t at all even with other people!” explained Sara. “But I had every right to know!! How could he propose to someone without mentioning that? It is a big deal!! A very big deal!” said Yara sharply. “Yes, you’re right. But don’t let this anger and hurt control you now. Think of what made him hide this, he really loves you Yara..” said Sara. “Please don’t tell him anything about this. I will deal with it on my own” said Yara and started driving.

After dropping Sara back to the house and driving back home in silence, Yara was glad that she didn’t find Sajida spending her evening in her usual spot infront of TV. The last thing she needed right then was discuss anything related to the proposal with her mother. She entered her room, dropped her hand bag on the floor and sat on her bed holding her phone. One thought was occupying her mind and she was thinking about it all the way back home. And so she decided to go for it. She dialed Dalal’s number….

“Hello?” answered Dalal excitedly. “Hey Dalool. How are you?” asked Yara shyly. “I’m good how are you doing? Are you ok?” asked Dalal in her usual hyper mood. “I..no.. I am not” said Yara hesitant. “What’s the matter?” asked Dalal in a total shift of mood. “Is your dad in town?” asked Yara. “Yes, he is. Why?” wondered Dalal. “Is it possible to see him?” she asked quietly. “Oh my god why?” panicked Dalal. “No no it’s not me. I just need to discuss something with him and ask some questions” said Yara. “You realize that my father is a gynecologist right?” asked Dalal. “Yes, of course! How can I forget” said Yara. “OK you wanna come to our house tomorrow morning? He will be home” suggested Dalal. “Yes, the sooner the better. But I’ll need to speak to him privately” said Yara. “I will manage. Will you tell me what’s going?” asked Dalal curiously.

Yara explained to Dalal the whole situation and was instantly relieved to open up to someone who was a good listener. Dalal was into the conversation passionately commenting every now and then with shock and disbelief. They spoke as if nothing had ever come between them, as if they were that close to each other yesterday and the day before. All those months apart suddenly felt as if it didn’t exist. At first, Yara felt guilty for using Dalal when she needed her. Then and after feeling calm and relaxed, she realized that she was waiting for an excuse or a push to get in touch with her. And she was really glad that she did.

Just when she was about to go to bed, Fahad called. She stared at his name not knowing what to do. She didn’t want to talk to him but at the same time she didn’t want him to sense that something was wrong. Not before she does her own research and finds out the real deal. “Hello” she answered quietly. “Hey baby. Where have you been?” he asked excited. “I…was…with Tamara today” she lied. “Why? What did you do?” he asked. “She needed to buy a gift for her friend so we went shopping” she added. “That’s nice. I was with Osama and the guys all day, just got home.” He said. “Hmm” said Yara. “What’s wrong?” he asked sensing her quiet mood. “Nothing. Why?” she asked. “You’re not usually that quiet!” he said concerned. “It was a long day and I just got into bed. I really need to sleep” she said faking a yawn. “OK go to sleep then. We’ll talk tomorrow” he said sweetly. “Good night” she said and ended the call.

Her head was buried in her fluffy pillow and her thick quilt was covering her head. She was surprisingly proud of herself. She was proud of how she didn’t rush to confront him with what she knew as she usually does. That angry Yara who burst in frustration when she hears something upsetting didn’t exist this time. She felt mature and responsible. Staying quiet, thinking, being patient and trying to find out the truth felt right this time. Maybe she was finally ready for marriage after all.

The next morning, Yara woke up early and headed to Dalal’s house. The hyper mother was too excited to see her after all this time. She squeezed and welcomed her warmly just like the old times. And after having breakfast and catching up with the family, Yara, Dalal and the father went to his home office and discussed the matter privately. Yara asked him about the condition that Sara explained to her yesterday. She needed a medical explanation and maybe some future options or possibilities. He was very frank with her, he couldn’t tell her anything since he had no idea about the cases. But he assured her that if any two couldn’t conceive together, doesn’t mean that they both never will. It is possible that they were a wrong match and it is also possible that one of them is unable to. But then again, she wished that she knew more details about their cases. She wished that Alia said more about Fahad’s condition. But right then, this is all she knew. And she only had those facts to rely on.

After hugging Dalal passionately and thanking her for her help, Yara left Dalal’s house and went straight ahead to meet Nadia in her house. She was in bed and the curtains were down. Yara jumped on the bed, hugged Nadia and kissed her cheek several times. “You missed me ha!” said Nadia pushing her away. “Yes” admitted Yara with a grin as she lay next to her. “What happened at Dalal’s?” asked Nadia. “Nothing new. I just know that what Sara said could be possible. But it’s not that, it’s the fact that he lied. It’s the lie that I won’t be able to get over” said Yara sadly. “You’re calm now. No longer angry” said Nadia as she rolled over and faced Yara. “I guess” said Yara quietly. “Then maybe it’s time to talk about it with him?” asked Nadia. “I was thinking about that. I should do it today. Only two days are left for the proposal and I don’t wanna delay this anymore” said Yara. “Yes, that’s right. But you have to be as calm as you are now, don’t lose your temper or else things will get out of hand” said Nadia. “I’ll try. What happened with you?” asked Yara looking at Nadia. “We didn’t talk about it. Mohammed left last night and my parents are coming back after tomorrow. Time off for now” said Nadia. “How do you feel?” she asked smiling. “I can’t believe that Mohammed met my parents. It felt weird after all this time. But I am really happy and both of us are so into it now. I don’t think that we’ll bear staying away from each other” confessed Nadia. “You surrendered?” teased Yara. “Yes” said Nadia covering her face with her hands. “And you’ll fight for it?” asked Yara excitedly. “Aha” affirmed Nadia happily. “At least one of us will have a happy ending” said Yara in sorrow. “Don’t say that. We both will inshalla. Now call Fahad and tell him that you need to see him” said Nadia and got off her bed.

“You’re pale! You need to eat” said Fahad as he sat in the café with a Tuna sandwich in his hand and a glass of Orange juice infront of him. “No, I had a heavy breakfast” said Yara without smiling as she sat next to him on one sofa. “You must be stressed then. Are you nervous about Tuesday? You still have time to change your mind” teased Fahad as he stared at her lovingly. She smiled and shook her head, “No, no, it’s not that” she said quietly. “What is it then? Tell me.” He said nicely. “I met Alia yesterday” she said staring at him. “What? Why?” he said in shock as he put the sandwich down and rubbed his hands together. “I’ll be honest with you Fahad but please don’t be angry. We are getting married and I had every right to ask her about you” she said with no emotions. “Ask her about me? If you have me why would you need to ask anyone about me?” he asked in anger. “It’s different and yet normal!” she said still calm. “And what did she tell you? Anything that I don’t know about?” he asked being sarcastic. “Things that I didn’t know about” she said emphasizing on the I. Fahad rested his back on the sofa and took a deep breath nervously. “Why didn’t you tell me Fahad?” she asked looking at him while he was looking away. “What did she tell you?” he asked again. “You lied again” she said in disappointment. “Answer my question!” he said in anger bending forward. “The tale that you came up with about her not wanting to become a mother is far from being true” she said now sadly. “Talking to her behind my back means that you don’t have trust in me!” he said furious. “You keep on lying Fahad. And you talk to me about trust?” she looked at him with a hurt look. Fahad rested his elbows on his knees and scratched his almost bald head with both hands, “Have you even thought about why I hide or.. lie as you say?” he said quietly this time. “Yes. But…what if Alia was right, and..” she said trying hard to put the words together. “Don’t finish” he interrupted. “Then tell me! Tell me why you lied about this! It is a very big deal! You know how much I love you and you know that if you were honest with me I would’ve married you no matter what!” she said exploding. “I didn’t know you well back then. And since me and Alia were never sure of the problems we had, I preferred not discussing it again with you!” he explained. “You are making it sound so easy when it’s not. You are dragging me into this marriage blindly. I had every right to know. And I asked you recently about it and you refused to answer.” She said with her anger starting to rise. “Listen to me” he said and put his hand on her shoulder, “don’t allow this to come between us. Not a couple of days before things get official.” He said. She remained quiet and lowered her head. “We went through a lot till we reached this stage. And we are old enough to understand each other in such situations. I don’t know what Alia told you, but I assure you that the reasons behind being unable to conceive are unknown for both of us.” He said in a convincing tone. “It’s the 21^st century. Your tests must have said something! And was this the reason why you got divorced? Only that?” she asked in a mix of anger and sadness. “Mainly yes, but we lost patience and were not able to deal with each other. It got complicated between the two of us emotionally. Our personalities wouldn’t click anymore. We didn’t have the will nor the power to fight for it. And things reached to a dead end” he said. “Why didn’t you say all that before? You know how much I appreciate honesty. And…” she said and he interrupted her “ssshhhh” he said and covered her mouth with his hand “enough said. What happened had happened. This is my past and we shouldn’t allow it to come between us. Now you know that there is a chance that I won’t be able to give you children. Even if it’s a small percentage but, now you know about it.” He said and she managed to remove his hand off her mouth. “But the question is, are you willing to take the risk?” he asked being reasonable. She took a deep breath and looked at him in the eyes, “You know how I much I love you, and I want nothing from this life but to be with you, you saved my family and you are a good man. A true man. And I think that…”

Chapter 17.. Disclosures

2011-03-03T11:43:00.000-08:00

“My parents? What do they got to do with this?” asked Nadia confused. “If I got to convince your parents then nothing else will stand in my way” he said. “What about me? I told you a million times how I’m not ok with it! What’s the use of making this a huge deal by talking to my parents if you still didn’t get my approval?” screamed Nadia in disbelief. “I know how much you want this” he said calmly. “Want what? Can we speak clearly and start being specific about what we want?” she asked angrily. “I want you to be mine. I want us to be together again.” He said. “How?” she asked sharply. “By getting married!” he said finally.

“Mohammed, can you remember why we didn’t get married at first place?” she asked. “Because I left the country. But now it’s different. You said that not coming with me was a mistake” he said. “Yes, it was a mistake back then. But it doesn’t mean that I can do that now!” she said. “I understand. It’s not possible to come over there while I’m living with my wife and son. But, I’ve been considering moving back to Bahrain for a while!” he confessed. “Oh no! What happened to that bright career that you left your whole life for?” she asked still angry. “It was the right thing to do seven years ago. Maybe it’s time to move on” he said. “This is a mess Mohammed. You are messing up your life!” she said in disbelief. “You are absolutely wrong. I am being brave by trying to fix things and fight for a life that I’ve always wanted” he said convinced. “OK. Let’s say that you quit your job and came back here. Then what?” she asked. “We’ll have our own life. Me and you” he said. “And your wife? Your son?” she asked. “I can be fair to both of you. Reem is understanding. And once I talk to her honestly she will understand.” He said confident. “So you want me to be your second wife and share you with another woman? You think that this is easy? First of all, it will be so hard on me that it will mess up my life. Second, what will people think of me? The bad woman who stole a man from his wife? Don’t you hear about such stories every single day and how it’s affecting our community and the children?” she screamed. “Can you stop screaming and discuss this like mature people do? Nadia, we are not old. We have our whole lives ahead of us. The examples that you are talking about are old men who waited for their children to grow up and for their wives to age to finally have the courage to move on! I am not like them at all. I am doing this right now because it’s easier to go for it now and not later when my children grow old” he explained. “What is this mentality? Why does it have to happen? One woman is not enough for you?” she asked in disgust. “It’s not that. I told you that I don’t love Reem, and that I am not happy. So sooner or later I will get fed up and move on. And fait brought you back into my life when I really needed you. How do you want me to let you go?” he asked. “I will never live in peace being a second wife” she said. “But we will talk to Reem. We won’t do it behind her back like the normal scenario goes” he said. “Come on! Reem hates me just for the fact of me being your X. How do expect her to approve this?” she asked confused. “It’s different. Once I tell her that this is what I want she will understand. She wouldn’t want to lose me” he said. “That won’t make me any less of a sinner in people’s eyes” said Nadia guiltily. “Why do you care so much about what people think? To hell with them!” he said in a high tone. “Because it will affect my life in every aspect. My relations with others, my image, my new shop, it will all be affected. I don’t want to have a miserable life!” she said in sad anger. “You’re saying that your life will be miserable if we get married?” he asked to prove the opposite. “No, of course not.” She affirmed. “Nadia, I need you to answer this question honestly and from all your heart. Aside from all this mess, do you want to be with me?” he asked sensibly. Nadia stayed quiet for few seconds and took a deep breath, “Yes. I do” she finally said. “And there is nothing I want from this life more than that. So let’s try and work it out. We owe this a try. And if we fail again, we won’t feel guilty later because we did the best we could.” He said trying to sound convincing. “You are right. I get your point. But…” she said and he interrupted her, “I know, you are worried about my son, my career, and everything that will have to change. But you know me more than that, I am responsible enough to think of all that. You have to trust me. Be sure that I will never do anything that will cause you pain or frustration. Let’s do this right this time. Let me talk to your parents.” He said thoughtfully. “My parents are still in Munich” she said saved by a good excuse. “Even better, I can go to Munich for the weekend.” He said. “Are you serious?” she asked in shock. “Yes! It’s a 2 hour flight!” he said seriously. “You’re getting me all nervous. What will you say to them?” she asked nervously. “I will explain our situation and convince them of my plan” he said easily. “So you thought about it already!” she said feeling a twinge in her tummy. “Of course! I really want this to work this time” he said desperately. “Today is Monday. You’re going on Friday?” she asked still not believing it. “Yes. I will book now” he said. “Then…I must be there too!” she said scared. “It will make things much easier, yes” he said. “I think.. it’s better if I go and talk to them first, before you get there” she said hesitant. “If you have a visa you can go right away!” he said happily.

The next morning, Yara woke up fresh and early and headed to the studio. As relieved as she was that the debt was taken care of, she was distracted by the thought that the studio must be sold soon to pay Fahad his money back. She passed by the café for her usual take-out skimmed Latte and went to the studio focused and energized. “Good morning Madame” said Santosh as she entered. “Hello Santosh. How are things?” she asked. “Mr. George came yesterday and took his photos” he said. “Great. Are the ones we sent for framing ready?” she asked. “Not yet. But I will go today and check” he said. “OK. But before you go, I wanna tell you something important” she said as she walked to her desk and sat down. “There is a big chance that I have to sell the studio” she said matter of factly. “Oh! Sell it? Close the shop?” he said in an Indian accent. “Yes Santosh. I am telling you so you can start looking for another job” she said trying to smile. “Madame. This is sad. What will you do?” he asked concerned. “Well, as a start, I’m getting married” she said now smiling. “I know I know. Mr. Fahad right?” he asked in joy. Yara laughed, “Yes” she said. “Congratulations Madame” he said. “Thank you. But, if you see Mr. Fahad, don’t mention anything about selling this studio. Please” she said. “OK Madame.” He said and was about to go out, “Santosh, I can talk to Nadia and see if you can work at her new shop instead” she suggested. “Yes Madame” he said sounding content and headed out.

Yara rested her back on the chair and stared at the place. It was her passion that was displayed on those walls, her talent and her father’s belief in her. How can she let go of it? Fahad’s merger idea occurred to her suddenly. She thought about giving him the studio in return of the debt he paid. But knowing him, he wouldn’t accept it. He will agree and let her continue using the studio in addition to dropping the debt. So yeah, there was no other option.

She heard the door open while she was facing the other way. She turned the chair around to see Dalal by the door. “May I come in?” said Dalal with her obvious blond highlights that showed more in her curls. “Yes. Sure” said Yara surprised. “How are you?” asked Dalal as she walked to her and kissed her. “I’m fine. You?” asked Yara as they both walked to the armchairs. “I’m good.” She said as she sat down. She was wearing a beige jacket with brown buttons in the middle and jeans. “Don’t you have work today?” wondered Yara. “I’m on leave” said Dalal with a smile. “How can I help you?” asked Yara straight ahead. “I, actually came here, to apologize” she said shyly. Yara let out a sarcastic laugh, “apologize? About what or what or what…” said Yara not looking at Dalal’s face. “I know that what I did to you was really bad. It’s the worst thing that any friend could do to the other. But we never got the chance to even talk about it” said Dalal. “And say what? Everything was clear. And you didn’t stop at a certain point. You kept on going and causing more harm” said Yara blaming her. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what else to say. I can’t think of an excuse, I meant everything I did. But I am sorry” she said deeply. “So you just want my forgiveness?” wondered Yara. “Yes. And I hope that we can be friends again” said Dalal hopefully. “We are not kids Dalal. It’s not like you broke a toy or something. You tried to break a relationship!” said Yara loudly. “I know. It was big. But now I can see it. I can see how bad I was and I am really sorry” she said. “Are you sure? Or are you just getting lonely since you lost your life time best friends?” asked Yara in doubt. “Of course I miss you! And yes I am feeling lonely. But look at you now, you are getting married. You won over my bad intentions” said Dalal. “Exactly, bad intentions. I can easily forgive you. But how can I be your friend again? It takes a lot to trust a person, especially someone who stabbed you from behind once” said Yara. “I know trust me, I know. But why do we have to be out of each other’s lives completely? We don’t have to be best friends, but it would be nice to stay in touch and hang out from time to time. For the sake of the old days!” said Dalal passionately. “I don’t know. I feel like I will have to pretend to be fine while I’m not” said Yara honestly. “I’m very happy that you and Fahad are getting married. I really mean it. And I do regret getting between you two. I am a human being and I make mistakes. Yara, I know that there are some habits that you don’t like in me. But this is who I always was and you accepted me that way.” Said Dalal. Yara stayed quiet staring at the floor. “I really love you. You and Nadia were my whole life. And my life is just too empty right now. I’m really sorry” said Dalal as she got up, kissed Yara on the cheek and left the studio.

Yara sat back and thought about the conversation that she had with Dalal for a while. Is she turning out to be like Sajida? All her life she dreaded the thought of growing old and becoming another version of her mother. But she was sure that she never would because of the huge difference between their personalities. And as she sat there on the armchair she noticed that it really was starting to happen. Her dry and careless attitude with Dalal and how she didn’t even consider forgiving her was something that Sajida would do.

“Are you in the shop?” asked Yara once she called Nadia. “No. Why?” asked Nadia. “Just asking. Last night I told you that Fahad’s family will finally come to propose but you weren’t the usual excited you.” Said Yara confused. “I wasn’t?” asked Nadia distracted. “Where are you?” asked Yara insisting to know. “Al Aali mall” said Nadia. “Why?” wondered Yara. “Why are you questioning me? I need to buy some stuff!” said Nadia. “You’re tensed. What’s going on?” asked Yara. “Nothing.” Said Nadia. “Nadia, what is going on?” asked Yara again sharply. “Come here. We’ll talk” said Nadia.

After one hour, Yara and Nadia met in Armani Café. “I’m, leaving to Munich tonight” said Nadia hesitant. “WHAT?” gasped Yara in shock. “I will be back before Tuesday. Don’t panic” explained Nadia. “Is your dad ok?” asked Yara in concern. “Yes. It’s Mohammed” confessed Nadia. “What happened to him?” asked Yara scared. “Nothing. Chill girl!” said Nadia. “Talk clearly!” ordered Yara. “We’ll meet in Munich this weekend. He wants to..talk to my parents” said Nadia quietly. “HE’S PROPOSING?” screamed Yara and all the waiters turned around since Yara and Nadia were the only customers there. “Shh. No!” said Nadia embarrassed. “I don’t understand!” said Yara in total confusion. “He wants to meet them and discuss our situations. If they are fine with it, he wants to move to the next stage” said Nadia. “Wow! That’s big” said Yara in shock. “And you blame me for being tensed” said Nadia. “What about his family? His job?” wondered Yara. “He wants to work it out. He’s saying that he’s got a plan” said Nadia calmly. “And you’re ok with all that?” asked Yara. “I don’t know. This time he didn’t give me a chance to object. He was pretty convincing” said Nadia. “This is scary. Are you even ready to leave tonight?” asked Yara. “Trying to do as much as possible. That’s why I came here” said Nadia. “I don’t mean to sound selfish but I really need you here this week” said Yara sadly. “I’m so sorry. The most important thing is that I’ll be here by Tuesday” said Nadia. “I’ll go crazy planning everything with my mum” said Yara worried. “She’s much easier now and even fun to hang out with” said Nadia. “Oh well. I have no other choice” said Yara.

Nadia traveled that night with a very vague idea about what was going on and what might happen in Munich. It wasn’t easy to believe that the reason she was traveling was to talk to her parents about Mohammed. It was something that was supposed to happen long years ago, but it never did. And now, after all what they have both been through, the time has come for that to happen? She was kind of sure that her parents wouldn’t accept it. But she believed that it was worth a try and that it’s not fair to fight any less than Mohammed was fighting for it. During her flight to Munich, she thought about all those things with her eyes wide open. Her parents were always understanding and supportive. But will they still understand that their own daughter could be a second wife? The only hope that Nadia had was the fact that she was divorced, and that could help in convincing her parents as divorced women have less chances of getting re-married to the perfect guy. It’s the way the old generation thinks although she didn’t believe in it. But it was a good string to play.

The next morning, Sajida and Yara were supposed to go furniture shopping to add/change some pieces in the formal sitting room for the guests. Yara was totally against the idea for financial reasons but Sajida insisted. She thought that their furniture was really outdated and it won’t be appropriate for their guests to see them. And so they agreed that they would only change few pieces and home accessories within a budget.

Yara overslept that morning, and she only woke up when Fahad called at 11am. “Still sleeping?” asked Fahad as he heard her sleepy voice. “What time is it?” she asked. “It’s 11! Get up” said Fahad. “Oh no! Why didn’t anyone wake me up?” she wondered as she got off bed. “Weren’t you supposed to go out with your mum?” he asked. “Exactly” she said as she left her room looking around for anyone but the house was deserted. “Where is everybody?” she wondered upset. “You sound like your house is always full of people!” joked Fahad. “Tamara is in school but where is the big lady?” she wondered as she walked to Sajida’s bedroom and opened the door. Sajida was sitting on the floor next to one of her cupboards with heaps of clothes around her. “What are you doing?” asked Yara. “What do I look like doing? De-cluttering!” she said. “What about the furniture?” wondered Yara with her phone still on her ear. “You’re the one who just woke up” said Sajida folding a mustard yellow cardigan. “You could’ve woke me up!” whined Yara. “Too late. They close in an hour. We’ll go at 4” said Sajida. “Ooooh” said Yara upset and left the room. “What are you going to do now?” asked Fahad. “I dunno. I need my cup of coffee and then I will be able to think” she said. “Come to the café. Have your coffee with me and let’s chat a bit” he suggested. “I’ll probably have to pass by the studio. I’ll change and come” she said and ended the call.

“It’s been a while since we sat together and had a decent conversation” said Fahad sitting in the café with Yara. “I know. Feels good!” said Yara and sipped her coffee in comfort. “Many good days to come” he said with a smile. “Inshalla. I want to fast forward all those formalities; the proposal, the melcha, and I just wanna close my eyes and open it to find myself living with you in one place” she said dreamy. “Why the rush? Enjoy all of those steps. It’s the beauty of life. The steps we take are what make life beautiful.” He said. “You know me. I’m not as dreamy and philosophical as you are” she said. “I like that. Creates balance between how I am and how you are” he said.

“Can I ask you something that’s been on my mind lately?” she asked. “Sure” he said with his arm resting behind his head. “How come Alia is still in good terms with you and the family?” she asked confused. “Just because we got a divorce doesn’t mean that we have to treat each other badly” he answered casually. “But..i don’t know..” she said puzzled. “Are you jealous?” he teased. “No. Of course not. But she is a very nice woman as far as I’ve seen and your family obviously loves her. How is it possible that she doesn’t want to become a mother?” she asked straight forward. Fahad’s face expression suddenly changed. He looked nervous and looked the other way. “What’s the matter?” she asked. “Nothing. Can we not talk about this?” he said a bit upset. “Inshalla” she obeyed in oppose to the doubt that was only increasing inside of her head.

Nadia and her parents were having tea in the lobby of their hotel in Munich, The Mandarin Oriental. The three of them were nervous and awkwardness was in the air even before Mohammed’s arrival. Nadia talked to them about it in the morning, the day when Mohammed was supposed to arrive. Both her parents were uncomfortable with the idea. They didn’t object, but they were a little agitated. But that mood didn’t force Nadia to make any changes on the plan. Mohammed was arriving to the hotel any minute. And the three of them waited silently with their thoughts far away from where they actually were.

“What brings you all the way here son?” asked Nadia’s father right after he was introduced to Mohammed and invited him to sit down. “I….” started Mohammed nervously. “Nadia explained your situation to us, but I want to hear it from you” said the father calmly. “I lost Nadia once before, and, I, can’t spare losing her again” said Mohammed nervously. Nadia’s mum sat quietly with her left hand folded on her chest and her head rested on her right hand while Nadia sat up cautiously with a straight back and her hands on her lap. It was a man-to-man conversation and both ladies stayed out of it and listened carefully. “But the situation was different before. You have your own family now and she’s a divorcee. Why are you wishing to complicate things for yourself?” asked the father still very calm and with no anger expressed. “To be honest with you, I was never happy with my current life. I have got the career that I always dreamed of and I am settled. But..” he stopped, too shy to admit his feelings to that man sitting right infront of him.

Nadia’s father was dark skinned and a bit chubby. His looks never failed to present his wise personality and high status. His big nose, that was similar to Nadia’s mother since they were first cousins, was a trademark in the family. Luckily, Nadia didn’t get it. His first name, Salah, was written all over his face and blended with his personality more than any other name. He was sitting facing Mohammed in his posh black over coat that gave the impression that he was ready to cut the conversation and walk out the hotel any minute.

“You think that Nadia will make you happy?” asked the father. “Yes” answered Mohammed shyly looking at the ground. “What about your family? Having two wives is never easy” said the father being reasonable. “My wife is understanding. And, and if everything goes well, she will be the first to know about it even before it happens” said Mohammed politely. “And why do you think that we will accept giving our only daughter to a married man?” asked the father, still calm. “I think, Nadia can answer this” he said turning his head to Nadia. “The fact that Nadia introduced you to us proves that it’s what she wants too. But I want to hear your answer” said the father. “I am sure that Nadia’s happiness is important to you. And the fact that her first marriage left her with a broken heart, will make you consider this” he answered. “What are you planning to do?” asked the father. “Go back to Bahrain for good. If you grant me this, I promise that I will give Nadia everything that she deserves. And she knows it” he said hopefully. “Listen to me my son. Now that I listened to you I can tell you what I think.” Said the father with his hand holding his chin. Nadia’s heart started racing as she turned her body 90 degrees around to face her father nervously. “No woman in this world accepts sharing her husband with another woman. If we accept and you marry Nadia, both women will suffer. This will only lead to you getting lost in the middle. Even if your wife is understanding and will accept this, what about Nadia? Will she bear sharing you with someone else? Will you bear it? Since you said that you are currently not happy and you will find your happiness with Nadia, that means that you will favor Nadia over your wife. That will also complicate things for your son. It’s very complicated. Keeping one family standing is hard enough for a man, how about two?” he said and took a sip of the black coffee that was placed on the coffee table in front of him while awkward silence covered the place. “I don’t want to stand between my daughter and what she wants. She is old enough to decide for herself. But at the same time I don’t want to grant her a complicated and tough life” he continued. “Baba, will you please allow us to talk about this? Me and him, privately?” asked Nadia breaking her nervousness and shyness suddenly. The father took a deep breath, turned to the mother, “What do you think?” he asked. “They should talk about it” she said nodding. “Go somewhere and talk. You are both old and mature to know what’s best for you. Try to keep your emotions aside and think with your brain today” said the father. “Thank you” said Mohammed as he stood up happily. “This doesn’t mean that we are accepting this. But we can’t say no since it’s what you both want. Be rational in your discussion today” said the father as Mohammed shook his hand, shook the mother’s hand, excused himself and left the hotel with Nadia.

Although it was three degrees in Munich that day, Nadia couldn’t think of a better place to have a quiet conversation with Mohammed other than the English Garden. It was sunny but still freezing. She was wearing a baby pink woolen hat with a flower on the side with her big waves falling over her shoulders, white overcoat that had huge golden buttons, and a beige pashmina with small flowers was wrapped around her neck. The wind hit their faces as they walked into the garden and she found herself holding Mohammed’s arm tightly to survive it. They both laughed at their stupidity for coming to the garden in this freezing weather as they walked, till they reached a small bridge that overlooked a tiny waterfall. “Thank you” said Nadia as she turned around and faced him while they stood over the bridge. “What for?” he asked with a smile. “For coming all the way here” she said gladly. “You know that I’d do anything for you” he said deeply. “What do you think will happen now?” she wondered with her hands in her pockets. “We both know that we want this more than anything else. And I don’t think that your dad’s words will change anything. Right?” he asked looking at her in the eyes. “He made sense though. How will I stand the fact that you will be with another woman?” she asked feeling the jealousy already. “I’ve been with another woman for years!” he said. “But you weren’t mine” she explained. “You know that I loved you all the way” he said staring at the waterfall. “Do you feel like you’re cheating on her when you’re with me?” she asked suddenly. “I don’t know” he answered after few seconds of thinking. “Do you even care about her feelings?” she asked. “In a way, yes. But it won’t stop me from being with you” he said looking back at her. “My parents were not ok with the idea. They will need more time and more convincing” she said. “Leave that aside now. Are you convinced?” he asked. “Am I convinced?” she asked confused as they started walking again. “Before we came here you weren’t convinced. You were still fighting back” he said reminding her. “I thought you knew that I was resisting for your own good” she said looking at him with crossed eyebrows. “I did. And that’s why I insisted” he said with a grin. “I love this smile” she said staring at him. He surrounded her with his arm in a side hug as their heads touched. The way she started giving up all the resistance and allowing herself to speak up and get into all of this with her own will was something new to Mohammed. What they were supposed to discuss was meaningless now, because they both knew for sure what they really wanted. And they kept on walking through the garden, fighting the cold with the warmth of each other’s company.

“Hey Yara” said Alia as she walked into Crepe Café and walked directly to where Yara was sitting, on a table for 2 by the left corner. “Hey, thank you for agreeing to see me” said Yara as she stood up and shook her hand. “My pleasure. I hope that everything is ok?” asked Alia concerned and took a seat. “Yes everything is fine. It’s just some regular questions that the new fiancé has for the x-wife” said Yara with a smile. “That should be fun” said Alia with a laugh as the waiter came with the menus. “I know what I want. Nutella Crepe & Skimmed Latte please” ordered Yara looking at the waitress. “Tempting. Make them two but with a Cappuccino” said Alia.

“How is Fahad? Is he feeling better?” asked Alia. “Yeah. It’s hard to keep him away from sweets though” admitted Yara. “He’s a stubborn person that’s the problem…” said Alia and kept on talking about Fahad and his diabetes. Yara watched her as she spoke and felt jealousy rise in her body. She watched her beautiful lips that were covered with red lipstick, her wide eyes and long lashes that went up and down as she blinked. That woman belonged to Fahad a while back. Those lips, those eyes, and that perfect thick black hair was Fahad’s. Yara lost concentration on what Alia was saying. All she was thinking was that this perfect woman that was sitting right infront of her belonged to her Fahad not so long ago.

The waitress came with the coffee cups and woke Yara up from her deep thoughts. “Tell me. What questions do you have for me?” asked Alia. “Can you, tell me what caused your marriage to end? Of course Fahad told me but I’d like to hear it from your side” asked Yara nicely. “Yeah, I understand. We, women, look at things differently so I’m sure you’ll understand the situation differently from my side.” Said Alia. “Yeah, men barely speak.” Said Yara. “But let me tell you first that I admire how brave you are. You must really love Fahad” said Alia. “Brave? Why?” asked Yara. “Because you agreed to marry Fahad knowing that he can never be a father!” explained Alia. “Never be a father?” wondered Yara in confusion. “He told you that he is unable to, right?” said Alia….

Chapter 16, Decisions

2011-02-10T02:36:00.000-08:00

Sajida was sitting in her usual spot in the sitting room infront of the TV, nibbling on some seeds, when Yara got back home. She walked inside, stood infront of her mother and pretended to scratch her face with her right hand, “Notice something different?” asked Yara holding a smile. “Oh My!!” said Sajida as she stood up, pulled Yara’s hand and stared at the ring with an open mouth. “What do you think?” asked Yara happily. “Speechless! This is worth a fortune!” said Sajida in admiration. “Isn’t it beautiful?” asked Yara. “Beautiful and valuable! You have chosen the right person my dear. I can congratulate you now” said Sajida as she gave Yara a quick and cold hug.

Yara was overwhelmed by her mother’s hug. Even though it was too cold and clinical, but it was their first hug for as far as she can remember. She was sure that it meant something to her mother too. Sajida was really happy at that moment to see her daughter engaged and not just to see that huge diamond on her finger.

“Mama, I’m sorry that I’ll have to put your happiness on hold for a moment. But there is something important that you should know” said Yara as she sat down. “Oh. How I hate bad news. Make it quick” said Sajida with her attention back on TV. “That man that we owe money called again few days ago” said Yara. “What does he want? Didn’t you just pay him?” she wondered. “Yes, but it was a small amount and he wants the full thing” said Yara. “Why can’t he be patient? He wants us to sell the house ya3ny?” said Sajida angrily. “I don’t know. But he threatened to go to court so we better come up with something” said Yara. “Why don’t you ask Fahad to lend us the amount?” asked Sajida. “No way! This is just impossible. We don’t want them to think that we are after their money” said Yara. “Then what other option do you have?” she wondered. “I’m thinking of…selling the studio” said Yara hesitant. “Finally!” said Sajida and broke a seed with her teeth. “I could sell my photos in Nadia’s new shop or even in the café. But.. dad gave me that place, it’s special to me” said Yara sadly. “Well, it’s his debt at the end of the day! It’s like you’re giving it back to him” said Sajida in sarcasm.

Ignoring her mother’s comment, Yara got up and poured herself an estekana of Black Tea. “One more thing” she said as she sat down holding the estekana. “Please, enough for today!” said Sajida. “Let’s just get done with this please. We can’t keep on paying for Tamara’s school.” Said Yara. “There is no way that I’m getting her out of this school” snapped Sajida. “But can’t you see how much we have to pay for it? I can’t keep on managing the amount” said Yara. “You’re getting married now! You won’t need to spend on yourself, he will spend on you. So use the money you earn for the school!” said Sajida easily. “Spend on myself? When was the last time I went shopping or spoiled myself in a spa? You spend more than I do!! All my money goes to the house!” said Yara frustrated. “I told you to find yourself a real job but you never listened” said Sajida. “So I could pay for my sister’s school? It’s not just my responsibility! You are responsible too!” said Yara. “Don’t give me a headache. Sell the studio, pay the man and then use the rest of the money for your sister’s tuition. End of topic” said Sajida as she raised the volume of the TV.

The next morning, Yara and Nadia were doing more work in Nadia’s shop. “I have to take a picture of you in this hideous outfit” said Nadia and took a picture with her phone of Yara standing on a ladder wearing a dungaree with a bandanna on her head. “If you want to blackmail me and send this to Fahad then be sure that I don’t care” said Yara carelessly. “You look like a blast from the 90s” said Nadia laughing. “All that she wants, is another baby…” sang Yara. “That would make a lovely theme for one of your photography themes! Back to the 90s!” said Nadia in excitement. “Don’t remind me. If I sell the studio there will be no more themes. Just random framed pictures hanging in this shop and the café” said Yara. “So there is no other solution ha?” asked Nadia sadly. “Can you think of any?” asked Yara as she walked down the ladder. “Let me lend you the money!” suggested Nadia sweetly. “No! I’d rather take a loan from a bank and pay interest than take the money from anyone! We’re not talking about a hundred or two, it’s thousands!” said Yara. “OK, do whatever you want. But do you think that Fahad will allow you to sell the studio? I don’t think so” said Nadia. “I won’t tell him!” said Yara. “What? You want to cause more problems between you two?” asked Nadia in shock. “Nadia I really don’t have any other choice! He will understand later on” she said as she sat on one of the boxes. “I really think that you’re doing a big mistake” said Nadia. “Leave that now. You promised that you will tell me what happened with Mohammad yesterday!” said Yara. Nadia smiled, took a deep breath and sat on a wooden chair, “he wants me back” she said without any introductions. “WHAT!!” gasped Yara. “Don’t panic. It’s not like he suggested something. He…said that we should do something about it, and not let this chance go by once again!” she said. “Wow! And what did you say?” asked Yara amazed. “I said that I will never ruin his stable marriage” said Nadia quietly. “But is he willing to ruin it?” asked Yara. “I don’t know. I think so, but he wasn’t clear. All he said was that we should think of a way. But it doesn’t matter because nothing can happen” said Nadia. “Are you sure? This is the love of your life asking you to be with him. After all what you’ve been through, you think that you should let go of him again?” asked Yara. “He said that we should be selfish and not think of others. But that’s just mean and I know that I can never do this. What kind of life will I have then? I asked him not to call me again. I basically pushed him away. I can’t even think of the possibility of me causing him trouble” said Nadia hurt. “But it’s what he wants” said Yara. “It’s too late. Let him find his own way to happiness with his current life. But I can’t do anything for him. And for me, I just have to work really hard to get over him all over again.” Said Nadia sadly. “I feel bad. I’m part of the reason why you let him go back then” said Yara. “Of course. You are a big part of my life and you shouldn’t feel bad!” said Nadia. “It’s really hard to believe. After all those years and after all what happened to both of you, he’s back? And he is willing to try again? It’s like a fairytale” said Yara in disbelief. “I learned a lot of things from all of this. Lesson number one is that when you love someone, you will take his shit and ignore his mistakes. You will fight for him and believe in him no matter what he does or what you do. It’s the love that keeps you together. Lesson number two is that the brain might work right and tell you common sense, but when something unusual happens it can be really hard for you to stick to that sense. And you have nothing to hold on to.” Said Nadia. “You mean Manaf by lesson two?” asked Yara. “Not just that, it could be though. But even my life as a whole, I was trying hard to stick to the ground and not follow any childish dreams. And I did that and let go of my number one dream. And then when Manaf happened, I saw how unhappy I was even when he was faithful to me. After he cheated, it didn’t make sense! Things stopped making sense. My life wasn’t making sense. And I wished for time to go back to when Mohammad asked me to leave everything behind and go with him. I will so do that if I had a chance to go back” said Nadia painfully. “It all happened so you’d learn those lessons. Our decisions are a big responsibility sometimes because they involve others. And without meaning to, we can destroy someone’s life by taking one irresponsible decision” said Yara. “Like your dad when he left with all those debts behind?” wondered Nadia. “Yes yes. Sometimes I reach a point where I believe that life is complicated. But then I got to shake that thought away in order to solve those complications” said Yara. “OK then let’s shake that thought away and go have something to eat?” suggested Nadia as she got up. “Totally..” said Yara.

One week later:

It was a Monday afternoon. Fahad, Yara, Nadia, Osama and Sara were having lunch in Maki. Yara was against the idea of showing up with Fahad in public since the news spread and there wasn’t any official proposal yet. But Fahad managed to convince her by playing the recovering-from-sickness card. He also convinced her that it’s time to make Nadia and Osama pay attention to each other. And with everything that happened to Nadia, Yara thought that it might be a good idea to do this in order for her to get her thoughts off Mohammad.

They were seated in the center of the dining area on a rectangular table, where Yara and Nadia sat next to each other faced by Fahad and Osama. Sara was left with the seat between Osama and Nadia. As soon as the waiter handed them the menus and the girls got engaged in their own conversation, Fahad moved close to Osama and whispered, “What do you think of her?” he asked with a wink. “Who?” wondered Osama scared, given the fact that he liked Yara not so long ago. “Who else? I will never ask you to check out my fiancé or my sister!” said Fahad. Osama laughed, “Nadia? She’s..nice” he said quietly. “Nice? Only?” he said disappointed. “What more do you want me to say?” wondered Osama. “She’s a good catch! Just keep that in mind” said Fahad in a teasing tone and opened the menu.

Yara picked up her phone and BBMed Nadia:

Yara: He’s hot right?

Nadia’s phone was blinking but she didn’t care to check her messages. “You have a message!” said Yara. “Yeah, never mind” said Nadia carelessly. “Check it!” said Yara hitting her leg. Nadia understood, picked her phone, read the message and typed back:

Nadia: Who? Fahad?

Yara: Oh no! The only other guy on the table maybe?

Nadia: Haha you’re funny. Now you really wish that it was him you’re engaged to?

Yara: You are so stupid. You check him out for yourself!!!!!!!

Nadia: LOL, OSAMA? AHAHAHAH..i’m not 19 anymore!

Nadia had a laugh on her face that she was trying hard to hide when she typed this. She put her phone away and went back to the menu.

“OK so we must order Yara Maki” said Fahad jokingly. They all laughed, “it’s my least favorite unfortunately” said Yara. “Most important thing is Edamame Salad” said Sara. “Yeah that’s for sure” said Osama while flipping the menu.

Just when the waiter came to take the drink orders, Yara’s phone rang. “Yes mama?” answered Yara. “Yaro..Come home right now!!” ordered Sajida in panic. “What’s going on?” asked Yara scared. “Some men are here and they want to get inside and evaluate our belongings! They have a court order” screamed Sajida in terror. “He did it!! I’ll be there now, ask them to wait” said Yara as she ended the call, picked up her bag and walked away without saying a word. “What’s going on?” asked Fahad, but she didn’t look back and kept walking.

“Yara, wait. What’s the matter??” asked Fahad concerned as he ran after her in the parking lot. “I have to be home right now we’ll talk later” she said as she reached her car. “OK let me drive you at least” he said as he walked to the driver’s side of the car and stood infront of her. “No. Please, Fahad, I’m in a hurry please get out of my way” she ordered. “I will drop you home. You don’t have to explain. I’ll just drop you” he begged. “FINE” she said frustrated as she gave him her car keys and hurried to the passenger seat.

It was a ten minutes drive that passed so slowly for both of them. Yara was absent minded and worried throughout the whole drive without saying a word while Fahad was tensed for not understanding what was going on. He didn’t try to ask. He knew how Yara gets offensive and mean when she’s angry. So he respected the space that she asked for and stayed quiet.

The moment he parked infront of Yara’s house he saw two Bahraini men in Thoabs standing by the gate, “Who are these men? What’s going on?” asked Fahad confused. “Go back to lunch. It’s nothing” she said as she opened the door. Fahad ignored her and got out of the car after turning off the engine. “What kind of a man do you think I am? To leave three ladies, who’ll be my family in no time, deal with strange men on their own? If you are not used to having a man who takes care of those things then it’s time for you to start doing so! You can’t deal with everything on your own!” he said seriously and roughly. Yara stared at him with a blank face. She couldn’t think of an argument. He made total sense and gave her no option but to give up.

“How can I help you?” said Fahad as he approached the men. They gave him the court order and he read it carefully. He then turned around to where Yara was standing, “Is this from the man you owe money to?” asked Fahad. “Yes” said Yara quietly. Sajida came out after seeing Fahad and Yara through the window and stood by Yara’s side, “You told him?” she asked quietly. “He found out” said Yara.

“Could you hold on please?” Fahad asked the men and walked to Yara and Sajida, “You need to tell me what happened exactly” said Fahad. “He called around ten days ago and warned us that he would have to go to court if we don’t pay him the full amount” explained Yara with her hands on her waist. “Do you have any written documents from him?” asked Fahad. “No. I just have a copy of the contract he signed with dad and the receipt of the amount I paid him” said Yara. “Give me his phone number quick” said Fahad. “Why?” asked Yara. “Give me the number and get inside the house!” ordered Fahad angrily.

After few minutes, Fahad walked inside Yara’s house for the first time. “What happened?” asked Sajida in concern as she and Yara were standing in the middle of the hallway. “They left” he said with a firm face expression. “Come inside. Let’s sit down” said Sajida as the three of them walked to the sitting room. “Why didn’t you tell me that he threatened you?” asked Fahad angrily as he was sitting down looking at Yara. She remained quiet. “She didn’t want to trouble you with our issues from the very beginning” explained Sajida. “This is no trouble. I’ll be a part of this family and you should treat me accordingly” he said sharply. “I’m sorry” said Yara. “It’s OK. It’s solved.” He said. “Solved? How?” wondered Sajida. “I spoke to the man. I promised him that he would receive the whole amount by tomorrow morning. He withdrew the order immediately” said Fahad. “Oh, Fahad. Can’t thank you enough” said Sajida relieved. “This is why I didn’t tell you! It’s a huge amount Fahad. How will you manage it?” said Yara upset. “I have my ways. And it’s either you accept this or the court order will go on and you’ll end up losing your belongings or even the house!” said Fahad. “God forbids” said Sajida terrified. “Yes, this is why those men where here” said Fahad. “How will you manage the amount?” asked Yara again. “I will arrange with my father. But don’t worry, it will be between me and him only. My mother will never know. I understand your situation” said Fahad. “Yes that would be great. Thank you so much dear. It feels good to finally have a son” said Sajida. “What will your father think? Asking for money even before things get official is very embarrassing” said Yara. “He will understand. You don’t know my dad, he is the kindest man on earth. He never thinks badly of anyone” said Fahad. “Allah ykhaleeh lekum” said Sajida. “We’ll pay it back. As soon as we manage to do so” said Yara with her mind in a far away place thinking about the studio. “There is nothing to be worried about now. Do you have any other debts?” asked Fahad. “Small manageable ones. Been paying them for a while and it’s almost covered” said Yara. “OK. We need to sit down together and cull the whole amount of all the debts. It is important to do so” ordered Fahad. “Inshalla. Thank you so much, you really proved what a good man you are” said Sajida.

Fahad leaned to a coffee table that was placed in the corner between the sofa that he was sitting on and the armchair where Yara was sitting. He stared at the photos that were on it. “That’s the picture that was in your display when I first added you” said Fahad while staring at a framed picture of Yara and her father. It was an old picture. The colors weren’t so bright and everything seemed brownish in it. Her father, with huge vintage sunglasses on his eyes was carrying her and she was laughing and trying to pull the glasses off his face. “I really love this photo” said Yara with a sad smile. Next to it there was another old picture of Sajida standing on her own infront of Eiffel Tower. Her hair was short and curled and she was wearing a brown blazer with shoulder pads. “Look at that vintage look” said Yara sarcastically holding Sajida’s picture. Fahad laughed quietly so Sajida won’t hear him. She was busy with her Blackberry and she didn’t seem to hear their conversation. “So it was always this way ha? You and your father together while she’s busy in her own world” said Fahad while looking at both pictures. “Mhhmm” said Yara with a sad look on her face. “Why do you look sad?” asked Fahad. “Nothing” she said while avoiding looking into his eyes. “You can’t lie to me. Is it the debt?” he asked. “Yes” she answered quietly. “You should be happy that it has been taken care off” he said in a convincing tone. “I am! But this is not how I wanted to start my life with you! Remember when we first met and how upset I got when you paid the electricity bill! It’s not a nice feeling.” She said annoyed. “You can’t compare. We are engaged now and what mine is yours” he said with a smile.

“What about some Turkish Coffee?” asked Sajida as she put her phone down and took off her reading glasses. “Let me treat you, how about we go out for coffee? You need the change after this stressful afternoon” offered Fahad. “Don’t trouble yourself dear. I’ll ask the maid to do the coffee” said Sajida. “I insist. Yalla get ready and I will ask my mother and Sara to join us” said Fahad. “That would be nice. I’ll go change” said Sajida and got up. “Did you talk to Nadia?” asked Fahad. “Yes, while you were out. They ate” said Yara. “Great. We’ll grab a bite as we have coffee.” Said Fahad.

Fahad, Yara and Sajida arrived to Lilou’s Adliya first. Sara joined once she left Maki and dropped Nadia home in Fahad’s car while Fouzia was the last to join. They were sitting in the corner with the one sofa under the spiral stairs. “Unplanned things always work better” said Fouzia. “It does. I am a very planned person and I get really frustrated when plans change but as you said, unplanned outings are always much more enjoyable” said Sajida. “Because it doesn’t give you a chance to have any expectations” said Sara. “Anyway, as long as we’re all here I think that we should set a day for the official proposal” suggested Fahad. “True. We shouldn’t delay it any longer.” Said Fouzia. Yara and Fahad looked at each other and smiled. “You’re welcome anytime” said Sajida happily. “What about next week? Which day would be suitable for you?” asked Fouzia. “Hmm. Today is Monday, what about next Tuesday? In a week time” suggested Sajida. “Fine by me. I’ll have to inform the family today” said Fouzia. “How many ladies will you be?” asked Sajida a bit worried. “Me, Sara, my two sisters, two sisters in law from my side, three sisters in law from Bu Fahad’s side, my aunt and her four daughters….” Counted Fouzia. “Wow Yumma why are you going that far? No need for all those people” interrupted Fahad. “She didn’t finish yet!” said Sara. “We have to. This is how it works. And if I don’t, I will never hear the end of it” said Fouzia. “7ayakum Allah” said Sajida in a welcoming tone. “Walla I think that it’s not necessary. Stick to the close ones; your sisters and my dad’s sisters. That’s more than enough” said Fahad. “Let her do what she thinks is right. It’s OK, it’s once in a life time” said Yara. “Not exactly. It’s my second” said Fahad jokingly and they all laughed. “Do you want a wedding Yara?” asked Fouzia. “No, not at all. I hate weddings” said Yara shyly. “Come on! I’ve dreamed of your wedding since you were born!” begged Sajida. “No way! It’s just impossible” said Yara. “What about a small one? We could do it in your house or ours and invite family and close friends only” said Fouzia. “That I won’t mind” said Yara. “Yeah, fair enough” said Fahad. “But I really wanted a grand wedding” said Sajida sadly. Yara stared at her angrily and Sajida understood right away. How could she ask for a grand wedding when the man just paid thousands of Dinars to save them from the debt? “You’re right that would be better” said Sajida changing her mind.

Yara and Fahad were sharing Mini Burgers and Kibbeh while the rest were having coffee and different kinds of sweets. To their surprise, Alia, Fahad’s x-wife walked out of the other section with the green chairs. They all stared at her as she walked towards them. “elsalam 3elaikum” she said excited. “3alooy!! Where have you been!!” said Fouzia as she stood up and kissed her. “So good to see you!” said Alia as she hugged Fouzia. “How are you? How are you doing? You still look great!” said Fouzia. “I’m so sorry I never call and ask” said Alia. Yara stared at them and then at Fahad in confusion. “It’s his x-wife” said Yara to her mother. “Wow!” said Sajida. “Fahad, how are you feeling now? I was planning to call and check on you” said Alia. “I’m good. Much better. You met Yara already. This is her mother” said Fahad introducing them. “Nice to meet you” said Alia shaking Sajida’s hand. “Look at those earrings” whispered Sajida staring at her Van Cleef earrings. “I miss you” said Sara as she hugged her. Yara was still confused with all the warm greetings. She wasn’t jealous as much as she was wondering what was the reason behind all this love to the X. She is an X after all and there should be some hard feelings.

“Such a nice girl. No matter what happens she is still respectful and loving” said Fouzia as soon as Alia left. “She’s beautiful” said Sajida and put a spoon full of Concerto in her mouth. Yara’s eyes were fixed on Fahad as they spoke about Alia. He was calm and expressionless, but she felt that there was something hidden behind that appearance for some reason. She didn’t know what it was, or if she was right or wrong. But she sensed that there was a missing piece of the puzzle that would explain the excellent terms between them.

Nadia was sitting in the living room of her huge empty house watching Showtime when she heard her mobile ringing. She walked fast to her room, reached for the phone that was on her dressing table to see Mohammad's London number. She looked at it hesitantly. Not knowing if she should stick to her word and not talk to him again or listen to her heart and do it. She was hoping that the call ends, but it didn’t. And so.. she picked it up. “Nadia?” said Mohammad as she stayed quiet when she accepted the call. “Hey” she said quietly. “How are you?” he asked. “Aren’t we supposed not to speak to each other again?” she asked. “It was you who said that and not me” he said. “And why can’t you respect my decision?” she asked whining. “Because I know that it’s not what you want.” He said confident. “There is a difference between what we want and what we can’t want!” she said sharply. “I asked you to think about it and all you did was believe that this is something that you can’t have more and more!” he said upset. “Yes. And you can’t change my mind” she said. “Listen to me, I called today because I have made up my mind.” He said firmly. Nadia stayed quiet nervously. She felt her heart fall down to her feet, “and?” she asked without taking a breath. “I wanna talk to your parents…” he said.

Chapter 15.. Impression

2011-02-03T01:21:00.000-08:00

Nadia was driving Yara to the hospital and trying to calm her down at the same time. “He died! You think he died? She said he just fell on the floor all of a sudden! He died Nadia he died!” cried Yara in panic. “Will you calm down and stop thinking these crazy thoughts! People faint everyday!” said Nadia trying to sound convincing. “They faint for seconds or minutes but not until the ambulance reaches!” screamed Yara and cried. “Pray Yara. Pray that he is fine and that it’s nothing major instead of wailing”, said Nadia when her car suddenly stopped in the middle of the road. “Oh no! Please no. NOT NOW” panicked Yara as Nadia tried restarting the engine several times but with no luck. “Stupid Mercedes!” said Nadia and pressed on the Hazard lights. “I will walk. I can’t stay here and wait anymore!” said Yara as she opened the door and was about to leave the car. “Are you insane? Stay where you are! I’m calling the driver now” said Nadia as she pulled her back in. “No no I can’t wait. WHY IS OSAMA NOT PICKING HIS PHONE!” she screamed in panic. “Yara please calm down so we can reach the hospital fast. You call a cab and I will call our driver. Let’s see who’ll reach here first” said Nadia while dialing.

“TEN MINUTES. IF I WALK I WILL REACH FASTER!” Screamed Yara as she ended the call with the cab agency. “The driver will be here shortly, take a deep breath and relax, please. You don’t want Fahad to see you like this” said Nadia. “SEE ME? HE’S UNCONSCIOUS REMEMBER?” cried Yara. “Stop crying. He’ll be fine! He’s strong and you know it” said Nadia sweetly. “I never called him. If something happens to him I will never forgive myself” sobbed Yara. “You will see him and you’ll tell him everything that you wanted to say. He’s not going anywhere” said Nadia as she removed Yara’s hair off of her face and patted her shoulders.

Twenty minutes later, Yara and Nadia got out of the car and hurried to the hospital entrance to find Osama smoking by the front entrance, “OSAMA, WHAT HAPPENED? WHERE IS HE?” asked Yara as she approached him fast. “He’s fine, he just woke up. First floor room #2” he said calmly with a puff of smoke coming out of his mouth. Yara ran inside while Nadia stayed with Osama.

Yara opened the door of room #2 to find Fahad lying on bed looking weak with an IV inserted in his hand. She paused by the door for a second, pleased to see him alive and breathing. “7amdella” she whispered thankful and overwhelmed that she didn’t pay much attention to the lady that was sitting next to Fahad with her hand on his. “I’m so glad that you’re ok” said Yara as she walked to him with tears streaming down her face. The other lady stepped away. “I’m fine, don’t worry” said Fahad weakly. “I was so scared..i thought that I lost you” she said as she put her head on his chest and he laid his hand with the IV on her back weakly. “It’s ok. I’m here” he whispered and kissed her head. “What happened?” she asked as she sat straight and wiped her tears. “Diabetes” said the other lady as she stood up and closed the button of her red coat. Yara looked at her and back at Fahad in confusion. “Did you even know that he is diabetic? I don’t think so. He never cared and seems like he still doesn’t” said the lady as she picked up her huge black Dior bag. “I’m Alia. His x-wife” said the lady and offered her hand to Yara to shake. “Nice to meet you” said Yara shocked as she shook her hand. “I never knew that you’re seeing someone” said Alia looking at Fahad. “We’re going to get engaged” he said weakly as he looked at Yara and smiled. “That’s great. You take good care of him please” she said to Yara and headed to the door.

Yara watched her as she walked out. She was a bit tall with a perfect body. Her soft black hair was tied up in a ponytail and her features were blending beautifully together. Wide eyes, pumped lips and a nose that linked them perfectly together. “She’s gorgeous” said Yara the moment she stepped out. Fahad ignored her comment and just stared at her with a smile. “Why was she here?” wondered Yara. “Her name and number was registered for emergencies. It was never changed I guess” he said as he put his hand on hers. “I’m so sorry I never called. I swear I was planning to do so tonight”, she said with guilt. “You have nothing to apologize for. I started it. Please forgive me” he said quietly. “Let’s not talk about it now. You are really weak, please rest” she said and brushed his head with her hand. “No big deal. It’s just a high level of glucose” He said. “It is a big deal! And you will get your share of yelling later for not telling me that you are diabetic!” she said in anger. “You’re cute when you’re worried” He said laughing and he pinched her cheek. “You take injections everyday?” she asked with concern. “No. Just pills. I might’ve missed it last night or today” he said. “And don’t you have to watch out with food?” she wondered. “Yeah. But…” he said trying to come up with an excuse. “You’re unbelievable! Why are you so careless? This is serious you have to be more careful. This time it passed, next time it could lead to a diabetic coma!” she said worried. “I will watch out I promise” he said staring at her with a smile. “I can’t lose you Fahad. I went crazy just for the thought that something might’ve happened to you. So please take care of yourself, for me!” she begged. “Anything for you” he said and kissed her hand.

Osama and Nadia were still standing by the entrance when Alia walked out and waved to Osama. “Can you guess who that lady is?” asked Osama daringly. “Hmm, I don’t know but she is damn gorgeous” said Nadia.Osama laughed, “Take a wild guess” he said again. “Someone that you used to date?” she guessed. “Nope” he said with a smile. “Good because you’ll be stupid to leave her!” she said. Osama laughed out loud, “You’ll be surprised. She’s Fahad’s x-wife!” he said finally. “Go away! This is his x-wife? And he left her? Tough luck Yara!” she said talking to herself. “Looks are not everything. They were insanely in love with each other, it was more like a fairytale. But, you know, a lot of things get revealed after marriage” he said. “Yeah, of course! Scary how the divorce rate is increasing by the day” she said shaking her head. “Women are independent now, they think that they can do without a man in their life and they get divorced easily. Reality hits them shortly and they get lonely all over again!” he said. “Watch it” she said feeling offended. “No offense. Of course I didn’t mean you. You are mature enough as I’ve seen. But most girls are now too naïve and irrational when it comes to these things” he explained and noticed Sara approaching from the parking lot.

“Hi Osama” said Sara as soon as she reached them. “Hey, meet Nadia. Yara’s best friend” said Osama. “Nice to meet you” she said and shook her hand. “Why are you outside?” wondered Sara. “I was smoking and then Yara came terrified.” He said. “Oh I can imagine. She never faced this before with him” she said. “It happens often?” wondered Nadia. “Not often but he is so careless that it happens from time to time. That’s why I’m calm” said Sara with a smile. “Did you tell your parents yet?” asked Osama. “Yes they are on their way” said Sara. “Then I’ll call Yara and tell her to leave.” Said Nadia and took out her mobile. “I’ll see her on my way up then” said Sara and walked out. “I’ll come with you” said Osama and followed her.

The lift opened in the 1st floor and Osama and Sara stepped out to find Yara walking towards them. “Feeling better?” asked Osama as she walked faster to Sara and they both hugged. “I’m better. I was so worried!” said Yara. “It’s all right. You’ll get used to it” said Sara jokingly. “Why didn’t any of you tell me about it?” wondered Yara. “We almost forget about it because he pretends to be fine!” said Sara. “You’re right we have no excuse. We should’ve told you but we never thought about it I guess” said Osama. “Come on, the least we could do is to remind him to take his pills and eat right” said Yara whining. “He hates that!” said Sara. “Yes, you wanna lose him? Do that!” said Osama jokingly. “I don’t care what you guys say but starting today things will change. We could’ve lost him!” she said frustrated. “Well, you’re the wifey now!” said Sara. “Not just yet but until then, promise me that you’ll take good care of him Sara” asked Yara. “I promise” she said with a smile.

“Ha? How are you feeling now?” asked Nadia as soon as Yara got in the driver’s car. “Relieved! 7amdella” said Yara tired. “And how is he?” asked Nadia. “He’s weak, but he’ll get his strength back soon. Sorry to keep you waiting” said Yara. “It’s fine I was with Osama. I also met Sara, she looks sweet” said Nadia. “She is. So did Osama tell you about Fahad?” asked Yara. “Yes and I was shocked! How could he hide something like that” wondered Nadia. “I didn’t want to stress him with that now. Will talk about it once he gets better” said Yara. “And the x-wife!!” said Nadia as she remembered her. “Oh. What competition!” said Yara with her hand on her face. “What was she doing here? I was shocked to see her! But don’t worry, I understood from Osama’s words that she’s just a beautiful figure from the outside” said Nadia. “I’m not worried. She was there when I walked in and there wasn’t anything in the air between the two. No looks, no feelings, no chemistry, nothing” said Yara. “So you don’t feel jealous?” teased Nadia. “No” said Yara rolling her eyes. “Sure?” teased Nadia more. “Maybe a little! It’s just that.. she looks amazing! I’m just an average looking girl” confessed Yara. “Beauty comes from within” said Nadia in a clichéd tone. “What a day! I’m so tired. I haven’t slept in two days” said Yara with a yawn. “You need a good night sleep. And tomorrow will be a better day” said Nadia. “Inshalla” said Yara as she rested her head back and closed her eyes smilingly.

“Hello?”, Nadia answered an unfamiliar Bahraini number. “Nadia..” said Mohammed softly. “Mohammed? Are you in Bahrain?” asked Nadia in shock. Yara opened her eyes widely as she heard his name. “Yes. I’m here for a couple of days” he said. “Why? Mohammed I begged you not to call me again!” said Nadia in a pleading voice. “Listen to me, I’m here for work, and I need to see you” he said. “See me why? There is no reason to do so! It will only cause us pain!” said Nadia. “Please Nadia. Just see me this time and hear me out and after that you’ll never hear from me again. That’s all I ask for” he said. “OK, fine. I’ll take your word for that” she said finally. “Can we meet tomorrow morning?” he asked. “Yes, do you know Yara’s studio?” she asked. “Not really, it didn’t exist back then” he said in a cheerful tone remembering the past. “I’ll text you directions now. See you tomorrow” she said and ended the call.

“Hey! You wanna use my studio to date now?” teased Yara. “Don’t be silly. I don’t want to show up with him in public. That’s all” she said annoyed. “What’s going on? Why is here and what does he want?” asked Yara. “I don’t know, I don’t know..” answered Nadia worriedly.

“We have to go and visit him” said Sajida the next morning once Yara told her about what had happened to Fahad. “Visit him? But that won’t be appropriate. Nothing is official yet!” said Yara. “The man is sick and we are his future in laws. It won’t be appropriate if we didn’t go! We have to show them that we care about manners. And it will be a plus point for us, to show concern while they delayed their visit. They will only feel embarrassed” said Sajida with a smart face expression. “You’re wicked but I like your thinking this time!” said Yara. “Alright then, check on your sister, she must come too” said Sajida as she got up and headed to her room.

Yara stayed where she was, curled up on the sofa, thinking of what her mother had just said and impressed by the fact that she agreed with her. Of course, a small part of her was worried about meeting his mother, his family’s reaction once they see her mum and how things will go between them. What if they don’t get along? But it has to start somewhere. This is a golden opportunity for them to prove to Fouzia that no matter what she heard about Sajida, in real life, she is not such a bad person.

Nadia was waiting for Mohammed to arrive in Yara’s studio. She was nervous and as much as she tried to deny it, she did put some effort while dressing up for this meeting. Guilt didn’t allow her to do it freely though, so she came up with excuses that she has to keep up her good image or that she might go somewhere nice afterwards. But deep inside she knew for sure that her feelings were leading her this morning, and that she wanted him to get fascinated by her beauty just like he always did. She wore skinny dark denim jeans with a dirty pink poncho style top. Her hair was falling on her shoulders in natural waves and she put on some light natural makeup.

She was sitting on one of the armchairs with her attention on her phone screen when he walked in. “Not so hard to find. Good location” he said as he took a step in with a smile. Nadia raised her head up to see him by the door, flashing his beautiful smile with his Cartier shades covering his dark brown eyes. To her surprise, he was wearing a Grey wintery Thoab.

Her heart started beating fast unexpectedly. She had imagined this moment many times. She was certain that she would be able to rein in all her emotions and old feelings that had come up to the surface lately. But when she saw him smiling in that Thoab, looking as mature as he never looked before, and coming to see her after begging for it, she lost all control.

She stood up, he walked slowly to her, her shaking legs took fast steps without intending to do so and walked to him until they met face to face in the middle of the studio. He took off his shades and they stared at each other quietly. He was still smiling and she smiled as she looked into his eyes that spoke a thousand words. And without realizing how, she found herself buried in his arms. Her head was comfortably rested on his chest and her arms were around his back while he held her tight with his head on hers. “This is where I belong..” she whispered with teary eyes.

“I was hoping that we meet in better circumstances” said Sajida as she sat next to Yara and Tamara in the hospital. “This is Allah’s well. Inshalla many more to come and we were planning to meet you anyway” said Fouzia. “How are you feeling Fahad?” asked Sajida while she was quietly evaluating her future son in law. “I’m fine 7amdella. Happy that we finally got to meet, I heard so much about you” he said excited. Yara stared at him in a confused yet happy look. “Me too my son” said Sajida as Sara offered her a tray of chocolates. “Thank you dear I’m on a diet” said Sajida. “Come on, just one for the gahwa” said Fouzia. “Alright. Can’t say no to this pretty girl anyway” said Sajida as she picked up a piece. Sara blushed and moved to Yara with the chocolate trey. They looked at each other trying to hold a laugh. “You only have those two daughters ha?” asked Fouzia. “Yes, I just wanted one child. You can see the huge age gap between the two.” Said Sajida as she took a bite of the chocolate and Fouzia handed Sara the coffee thermos. “Watch it. You don’t have to explain everything” Whispered Yara to her mother. “What did I say now?” whispered Sajida back. “Which grade are you in Tamara?” asked Fouzia. “8th grade” answered Tamara shyly. “And which school do you go to?” asked Fouzia. “Ibn Khuldoon” said Tamara. “Oh so you studied in a private school too Yara?” asked Fouzia. “No, I went to government schools” answered Yara politely. “Not that we had any financial problems. But Government schools were really good back then” explained Sajida in her usual money talk and Yara hit her leg. Fahad noticed and couldn’t help laughing. “I was telling Fahad yesterday that we should go out and have dinner together to get to know each other” said Fouzia. “What about the proposal?” wondered Sajida. Yara hid her head with her hand in embarrassment. “I think it would be much nicer if we get to know each other first so things won’t get so awkward when we come and propose” said Fouzia. “Yes you have a point” said Sajida convinced. “Let’s plan it now then. Where would you like to go khalty?” asked Fahad sweetly. “I like this boy!” said Sajida looking at Yara. “It’s up to you, anywhere will do” said Yara out of respect to Fouzia. “I insist. I want khalty Sajida to pick the place” said Fahad enjoying Sajida’s reactions. “Hmm, not that I go out much but my favorite restaurant has always been Sato” said Sajida. “You got it. When shall we go?” asked Fahad. “Once you get better. How can you decide now when you’re still sick?” said Fouzia. “I’ll be dismissed today” said Fahad. “She’s right. We’ll plan it once you get your strength back. And you better do so soon” said Sajida laughing.

“I avoid talking to you for that very reason. I don’t want to lose control and say things that we’ll regret later” said Nadia as they were sitting on the armchairs. “To be honest with you, every time I called you I had nothing in particular to say. And even when I asked to see you, I just felt a need to see you and speak to you.” Said Mohammed. “But things will only get harder now. We didn’t see each other or talk to each other for years. You left the country, got married, and became a father. And in a moment out of time we met by coincidence and everything changes” said Nadia. “So things changed for you too?” asked Mohammed. “Of course. Everything turned upside down. And when you called, I couldn’t believe it. But I had to be dry with you so things won’t escalate” said Nadia. “It’s really weird. I never expected for my old feelings to come back strongly. Not that I ever forgot you. I’m sure that you understand what I mean” he said. “I do” said Nadia looking down. “Nadia you know that I was never in love with Reem. She was just an available option that had no goals in life and didn’t mind doing anything or going anywhere as long as she gets married” explained Mohammed. “Don’t say that about her. It’s not fair. She left her whole life here and went with you!” said Nadia. “But I always wished that it was you Nadia. I loved you out of all people because you were different. You were and still are special” he said sincerely. “But I chose my life over you. And this could be enough reason for you to get over me” she said sadly. “It worked and for a while, it helped me move on. But now all I can see is a different life that we could’ve had together. My current life is.. cold. I’m focusing on my career, and when I come home I don’t find the warmth that I need. Reem is a lovely girl, me and Khalid are her whole life. But she fails to fascinate me, to steal me away from everything just like you do” he said and reached for her hand. “I recently realized.. that choosing my life over you was the biggest mistake I’ve ever made” she said holding his hand. He looked at her warmly and got closer, “and you realize that I’m not happy. I am content, but not happy” he said. “Don’t get me started. What did I get from this life that I chose? Manaf and his betrayal? Being with him was a failed attempt to get over you anyway” she confessed in frustration without looking at his face. “Look at me Nadia. You think that we still have a chance to fix this?” he asked as he held her chin and turned her head to him gently. “Are you crazy? Of course not” she panicked and pulled her hand out of his. “There must be a way. We can’t let go of each other all over again and repeat the same mistake” he said. “How? You are a father and you have a stable marriage. Don’t expect me to ruin this for you!” she warned him. “It doesn’t have to be ruined.” He said. “What the hell are you saying Mohammed? Please stop, please! We agreed that this will be the last time we talk and see each other” she said and stood up. “Please wait. Don’t say anything now. Just think about it. Think of a way and I will too. I want to be with you, I really do. And I know that you want that too. Please think about it and be selfish. We have to be selfish and not live our whole life for others!” he said. “It’s too late. Let’s forget that this conversation had ever happened” She said quietly and sadly as she picked up her handbag and walked out.

“She’s not bad!” said Sara as soon as Sajida and her daughters left the room. “Ee walla, I expected her to be much worse than that!” said Fouzia. “It’s lovely that you liked her but it’s funny how you’re judging the mother when I’m marrying the daughter” joked Fahad. They both laughed, “The girl seems nice. She’s not beautiful though, very average looking” said the mother. “Don’t be mean mama!” said Sara. “I’m only being honest” said Fouzia while pouring milk tea in a plastic cup. “Once you get to know her better you’ll see how beautiful she is” said Fahad with a happy smile. “But that was a lesson for you mama. You shouldn’t judge people based on what you hear. You should always find out by yourself” said Sara. “It was obvious that what I had heard through people was somewhat true. She said some unreasonable stuff. But they made her out to be much worse than how I really found her” said Fouzia defending herself while sipping some tea. “Women always exaggerate” said Fahad sarcastically as he reached for his mobile and BBMed Yara:

Fahad: All good. She likes you both.

Yara: Really? What did she say???

Fahad: Doesn’t matter. Are you happy?

Yara: Of course I am. I was so worried that my mum would say something and ruin it all.

Fahad: I LOVED her. She’s so much fun!!

Yara: Wait until you get enough of her.

Fahad: I never will! She’s not bad at all! You just have to know how to get to her.

Yara: That’s what Nadia says!!

Fahad: Oh by the way. As long as everything is set for me and you, what do you say about hooking up Nadia with Osama??

Yara: haha why so suddenly!

Fahad: They are both good people! Why not.. and it will be so cool, the four of us hanging out together.. I can imagine Dalal killing herself.

Yara: You just have to go on and on and on with your plans.. we can’t force it.. let it be.. they are old enough to realize it if they have feelings for each other..

Fahad: We should push it.. It will be good for both of them

Yara: Can we focus on us for now? We still have a lot to do!

Fahad: Right. Love you xx

“I was too nervous to meet his mum! She’s not so easy going and I felt that I was being judged. But Fahad said that she liked both of us” said Yara while having lunch with Nadia at Café Italia in City Center. “Good” said Nadia with a distant mind. “What’s wrong? You’re too quiet! Will you please tell me what happened with Mohammed!! What did he want?!” asked Yara. “Nothing. It was more of a good bye” said Nadia quietly. “Come on! What did he say exactly?” insisted Yara. “Can we make today about you only please? It’s a big day for you and I don’t want to talk about my issues” said Nadia. “But I can see that you’re sad!” whined Yara. “And I want to be happy for you. So let’s put my issues aside today and I promise that we’ll talk about it tomorrow” said Nadia. “Whatever makes you comfortable” said Yara. “Dalool called me a couple of days ago” said Nadia. “This girl! What does she want now?” wondered Yara in disgust. “You won’t believe it! She was asking if it’s true that Fahad proposed to you!” said Nadia. “WHAT? How did she know? I can’t believe her. She has sources from all around the country!” said Yara in disbelief. “I know! She tried to make me feel guilty for taking sides” said Nadia. “So the news spread already?!” asked Yara in shock. “Can you believe it? But it’s normal since Fahad's mother asked around about you and your family” said Nadia. “I guess yeah. And I really don’t care anymore. As long as things are ok let the whole world know” said Yara in excitement. “I’m so happy for you. It’s a dream come true for me, seeing you married to the one you love” said Nadia emotionally. “Aww. Let’s not get so carried away with feelings now, I’m starving! What shall we order?” said Yara as she opened the menu.

“Damn! I got overwhelmed with all what happened yesterday and I totally forgot about the debt!” said Yara and put her knife and fork down. “What debt?” asked Nadia while was eating her penne pasta. “That man called me and he was really upset! He wants his money back immediately and he threatened to go to court!” said Yara worriedly. “Oh no! What will you do?” asked Nadia. “I don’t know, I really don’t. But I really really need to get done with this even if it will mean selling the studio” said Yara. “Why don’t you talk to Fahad?” suggested Nadia and took a sip of her diet coke. “Not now. He will feel responsible since we are practically engaged and he will insist on paying. I really don’t want that to happen” said Yara concerned. “True. Finish your food now and we’ll think of something to do. There must be a solution” said Nadia.

Just when they paid the bell, Yara’s phone rang. “It’s Fahad. Hey dear” answered Yara as she was putting her wallet back in her classic Louis Vuitton spy bag. “Where are you?” asked Fahad angrily. “City Center. What’s wrong?” asked Yara confused. “City Center? Really? I am sick in the hospital and you are roaming around City Center?” screamed Fahad ferociously. “What is the matter Fahad? Calm down” said Yara still not understanding the anger. “How considerate of you! I’m extremely disappointed” he said frustrated. “OK please calm down this is not good for your health! Why all the anger?” she asked patiently. “Come here right now!” he said pissed off and ended the call.

After leaving the mall immediately and heading to the hospital nervously, Yara entered Fahad’s room to find him lying on his bed calmly with a smile on his face. She stared at him in shock with a blank face. He laughed out loud on her reaction, “come here” he said. “What happened to you? One minute you’re yelling and the other you’re laughing! You will drive me insane!” she said too confused as she walked to his bed. “Sit down” he ordered. She shook her head, sat on the edge of the bed with her hands folded on her chest waiting for an explanation. “Close your eyes” He said and reached for the drawer next to him, opened it and got a small jewelry box out of it. He then reached for her right hand and pulled it towards him, “open your eyes” he said. The moment she opened her eyes he placed a sparkling solitaire ring in her ring finger that took her breath away. She gasped and put her left hand on her chest with her eyes glittering. “Now you’re officially mine” he said as he left her hand up and kissed it.

Random Thought

2011-01-31T05:51:00.003-08:00

See everything like you used to see it when you were a child .. The thrill of wearing a new dress or riding a bicycle or feeding a cat..it’s the small things in life that make you achieve your big dreams.. dig into the details of your day, the rain, the smiles on random faces, the smell of bakeries, the air you inhale.. remember that the small things that used to make you happy as a child made you who you are today..

Chapter 14, Delay

2011-01-27T00:46:00.000-08:00

A day has passed and Yara and Fahad haven’t spoken to each other. It was hard for Yara to understand Fahad’s sudden change of behavior. All those months she was the one with the uncertainty and unrevealed emotions while he was always very frank and direct. Is this a new side of him that she hasn’t yet seen? Being too protective when it comes to family to the extent of lying and speaking badly of hers? She wondered while she was sitting on one of the faded armchairs in the studio and playing with her hair. It was 8pm, she was absent mined and distracted all day that she couldn’t do much work no matter how hard she tried. It was an ugly feeling that was setting in. Just when things were about to get perfect, he ruined it. Not her mum, or Dalal, or another problem causer. It was him this time.

Her phone rang and brought her back to life, “hello?” answered Yara, not recognizing the number. “Alo, Salam 3elaikum” said a man. “3elaikum elsalam, who is it?” asked Yara. “It’s Anwer, your dad’s friend.” Said the man. “Oh” She said after realizing that it’s the man they owe money to. “I have received your cheque. Thank you very much” said the man. “You’re welcome. Inshalla you will receive the rest as soon as I can arrange it” she said. “But this amount you sent is very small. It’s not even half of the amount” said the man upset. “I know, I’m very sorry but this is all I could do right now” she said nicely. “And I’ve been very patient with you. Tell me how much longer shall I wait?” asked the man. “I really don’t know but I’m doing my best right now” said Yara politely. “I really need that money. And managing it is your problem. Get a loan or even steal if you want. But I need that money by next month maximum. Otherwise I will have to go to court!” said the man and ended the call.

Nadia walked in the studio an hour later while Yara was still sitting in the same spot drowning in her thoughts. “Why aren’t you answering my calls?” said Nadia angrily. “I don’t feel like talking. Can’t I be on my own for one day?” answered Yara. “But I got worried! You could’ve picked up and said that you don’t wanna talk instead of ignoring!” said Nadia as she sat on the other armchair. “Don’t make a topic out of this now please!” said Yara annoyed. “Did you talk to him?” asked Nadia. “No and I don’t want to!” said Yara. “He didn’t call either? Or come to the café?”, asked Nadia confused. “Nope!” said Yara. “Maybe he’s.. embarrassed..and he doesn’t know what to say or do” said Nadia trying to think of an explanation. “Whatever! He started it and he’s the one who should fix it” said Yara upset. “What about your mum? Did you tell her?” asked Nadia. “No. I’m avoiding her. How can I tell her that the guy that we’ve been speaking highly of is a liar! ” said Yara. “You know her better than that. She won’t care! As long as she’s convinced that his family are the kind of family that she is looking for, she won’t care. Yesterday she was upset because she really wanted it to happen and it didn’t” explained Nadia. “You have a point. Anyway, let’s not talk about it anymore. What’s new with you?” asked Yara trying to push the thoughts away. “Umm, I've been working in the shop all day. That’s it!” said Nadia not mentioning Mohammed’s call. “I found something in the storeroom today. Might be interesting to you” said Yara as she walked to her desk and got a shoe box that was full of pictures. She opened it and gave Nadia a batch of photos with an elastic band around them. The first photo was an old photo of Nadia and Dalal in Chili’s, “Oh my God, I look horrible, look at my blond high lights!” said Nadia as she removed the elastic band and moved to the next photo. To her surprise, it was a picture of Mohammed. Her heart dropped at seeing him the way she knew him back then. Not in London, not with a son, not with a wife. Just the guy she once knew and loved. “Wow. You still have these!” she said quietly as she stared at it. Mohammed was wearing a white fcuk t.shirt, it was in fashion back then. He had a dirty beard that covered his white cheeks and his hair was brushed to the back with a little bit of gel. “You grabbed my camera from me and took this picture” said Yara smilingly. “I remember..” said Nadia. “Do you want it? Or shall I get rid of it?” asked Yara. “This comeback is scaring me..” said Nadia quietly. “Comeback? What comeback?” said Yara confused. “First I saw him, then he said a sentence that haunted my thoughts, you found these photos…and…he called!” said Nadia.

Fahad and his sister Sara were sitting on the floor at the sitting room with parcels of Tikka and Kebab infront of them. They were having dinner and Date Night was playing on the DVD but they weren’t paying attention. “She had every right to refuse to go. But she had to be more careful and stay home” said Fahad. “I think that you shouldn’t have lied in first place. You became a big part of it now” said Sara. “What was I supposed to do? I had no other choice!” said Fahad. “Ladies go through these kinds of situations everyday. They lie and cover for each other. But you should’ve thought of something better. I know how much you love mama and respect her, but you shouldn’t have allowed her to come between you and Yara.” Said Sara. “I wasn’t planning on lying. I just called her and it was the first thing that came to my mind” he said. “Very careless of you. What happened had happened anyway. Fix it. These days are supposed to be the most beautiful days of your life. Call her and apologize. What you did was wrong.” said Sara.

Their mother walked in the house at the same time. “Here you are! Join us please. A lecture is waiting for you” said Fahad. “I’m full, had so much finger food at the society meeting” said the mother as she took off her hijab and walked through the hall. “Mama what were you thinking when you went out last night?” said Sara in a mixture of politeness and disappointment. “Why? What’s wrong with it?” wondered the mother as she sat on the sofa behind them. “They saw you! You were supposed to be sick remember?” said Fahad. “Who saw me?” asked the mother. “Mama! Shfeech? Yara and her mother were at Traders last night and they saw you!” said Sara. “Ya3ny out of all the restaurants in Bahrain you’re telling me that they were there too?” said the mother in shock. “Yes! And even if they weren’t, Bahrain is small and people talk! Anyone could’ve told them that you were there” said Fahad. “And what did they say?” she wondered. “It was too obvious to cover up” said Fahad. “So they know that we lied?” gasped the mother. “Yes..” said Fahad nodding. “This is embarrassing. Why didn’t you cover up? You could’ve said that I got better” said the mother throwing the blame on him. “And make it worse by lying again?” said Fahad. “She’s not talking to him already!” said Sara. “Are they changing their mind? Maybe it’s for the best!” said the mother. “No Yumma! I will not change my mind even if they do.” said Fahad. “THEN DO SOMETHING!” screamed Sara! They both stared at her quietly. “You are not the Fahad that I know! You are acting like a teenager! What happened to you?” she added. “This stage is out of my control! It’s all in the family’s hands!” he said. “Quiet both of you. I think that we should meet them unofficially and get to know them. Suggest that we go out for dinner this week. Just us 3, the girl and her mother” suggested their mother. “That’s a start!” said Sara. “Make sure you mention that you just want to introduce us and it’s nothing official.” Said the mother.

Yara was driving back home and listening to Majida Al Roumi. It’s been a while since she listened to her and at that night in particular she felt the need to do so. She wanted to remind herself of the roots of her relationship with Fahad. How it started and everything that has happened since then. Anything that might have happened could be linked to what happened yesterday and serves as an explanation for his sudden personality shift. She was listening to a song from the last album called 7abeeby, when her phone rang. It was Fahad.

She stared at the phone screen hesitantly. As much as she wanted to pick it up and hear his voice, hear his explanation and tell him how much she missed him today, she couldn’t. Something inside of her, maybe pride, or maybe hurt, didn’t allow her to pick up his phone call. "Not tonight, not tonight!", She thought as she put the phone back in the cup holder and raised the volume of the song.

“Is Yara with you?” asked Fahad as he called Nadia. “No but I was with her a while ago in the studio” said Nadia. “I called her a couple of times but she’s not picking up. Is she ok?” he asked. “She was pretty upset” said Nadia honestly. “So you think that she’s ignoring me? She doesn’t want to talk?” wondered Fahad. “She was in that mood yeah.” Said Nadia. “But I have good news for her.” He said. “She’ll have to forgive you first. You know her and her stubbornness.” Said Nadia and laughed. “Can you please call her and convince her to talk to me?” asked Fahad. “Sure. I’ll try but no promises” said Nadia.

“Is Fahad sending you to talk to me?” guessed Yara as soon she picked up Nadia’s call. “Why are you ignoring the guy?” wondered Nadia. “What part of I-don’t-feel-like-talking do you not understand?” said Yara in anger. “He really wants to talk to you. He said he has some good news!” said Nadia excited. “He can’t take back what he said! Please tell me that he’s not expecting me to forget what he had said and get excited for whatever news he has!” said Yara sarcastically. “Don’t you think that you are exaggerating? Talk to him and see how he explains it!” said Nadia. “I can’t. I can’t. I’m just too frustrated, disappointed and I need some.. time away.” Said Yara. “Time away?” repeated Nadia in confusion. “This is marriage Nadia. It’s not a game. And I’m.. terrified.. after what happened. Yesterday I was 100% sure that he’s the one. But after the way he behaved yesterday I’m having second thoughts..” confessed Yara.

Just when Nadia put down her phone, it rang again. “My dear lord, hello?” answered Nadia without looking at the phone screen. “Nadia!!” said Dalal. “Dalool?” asked Nadia in shock. “Yes! I miss you!” said Dalal right away. Nadia was taken by surprise and she didn’t know how to behave with her, “shloanech?” she asked politely. “I’m good I really miss you. Why don’t you ever call me? Why are you boycotting me too? Have I ever caused you any harm?” asked Dalal in her usual hyper mood. “It’s not that..” said Nadia trying to explain. “I know I know. No need to go through it again. Tell me, is the news that I've heard true?” asked Dalal curiously. “What news?” wondered Nadia. “Come on don’t act dumb. I heard that Fahad is proposing to Yara! Is that true?” wondered Dalal. “Who told you that?” asked Nadia in shock. “It’s Bahrain dear. News travel faster than light” said Dalal. “Nothing happened yet and no one knows about it! I wonder how it got spread!” said Nadia still shocked. “It’s good news anyway. Please send her my warmest regards” said Dalal. “Dalool, stay out of this! What you’ve done caused them enough trouble so please stay away” begged Nadia. “You’re mean! You pushed me away out of your life and now and that I’m being nice you’re being rude to me!” said Dalal. “My God. It’s the sudden change in you that pushed you away and killed the good old friendship” said Nadia carelessly. “You didn’t even talk to me about it!” said Dalal whining. “Not a good time. I have to go now. And please stay away” said Nadia as she ended the call and huffed. It wasn’t good news that the word spread about Fahad and Yara. Not when things are not working out so smoothly. She decided to keep that from Yara and spare her the tension. And just before she receives any other frustrating phone call, she put her mobile on silent and went to bed.

Yara didn’t get much sleep that night. She went to bed early to avoid all the thoughts that were roaming around her head, but being in bed only got her to think more and more. It wasn’t about his lie or what he said about her mum. It was much bigger than that by now. It was a doubt of his love, a doubt if they were really doing the right thing by moving to the next step so fast. The circles in her head kept getting wider and wider all night. And by the time it was 7am, she decided to get out of bed and start her day.

She went to the kitchen, cooked a sunny side up egg and made tea. She put them on a tray and headed to the living room. Breakfast had a different taste so early in the morning and infront of the TV. After finishing her breakfast and watching an episode of Wheel of Fortune, she lay down on the sofa and fell asleep peacefully without planning to do so.

“Why are you sleeping here?” asked Sajida curiously. Yara opened her eyes to see Sajida’s figure right infront of her, “What time is it?” asked Yara as she hardly opened her eyes and stretched her arms. “It’s 10!” said Sajida. “Wow, I slept for two hours!” said Yara as she sat straight yawning. “What brought you here? And you had breakfast already!” said Sajida as she sat down and stared at the trey. “I dunno. I Just woke up early” lied Yara feeling flattered that they were finally making conversation. “What happened to the proposal?” asked Sajida. “You were right. They were lying” said Yara disappointed. “They’re not changing their mind are they?” said Sajida worriedly with her hand on her chest. “I don’t think so. But…I’m having second thoughts!” confessed Yara. “What second thoughts? You will drive me crazy! What happened so suddenly to all that love? What happened to I’ll either marry him or no one else?” wondered Sajida sarcastically. “What they did is a big thing. What kind of marriage starts with a lie?” said Yara sadly hiding the reason behind their lie and uncertainty. “So what? It’s a stupid lie! They wanted to delay and they couldn’t think of a better excuse!” said Sajida coldly. “But don’t you think that there is a reason behind that delay?” asked Yara. “Who cares! You complicate things! Go show them that you are ok with it before they completely change their mind!” said Sajida as she got up and headed to the kitchen.

Without paying any attention to her mother’s words, Yara changed her clothes and went to the studio. The door was not locked meaning that Santosh was already there. The moment Yara opened the door, she saw something on her desk that made her freeze where she was. It was a beautiful flower arrangement. She walked closely to it and dropped her handbag on the chair. “Good morning Madame. These got delivered for you this morning” said Santosh. “It’s alright Santosh. Go back to your work” she said. She stared at those fuchsia pink roses and white lilies, hoping that it’s not from him. She didn’t want anything to affect her thoughts and influence her to get back to him when she is still not fine with what had happened. She reached for the small card nervously and pulled it out of the envelope:

It’s hard to explain why I did what I did.. But all I can say now is how sorry I am.. Please forgive me and let’s start the rest of our life together.. Fahad..

She held the card tightly and sat on her chair while remembering her mum’s words. Is she finally making sense? Am I complicating things? She wondered. At that moment, with the card in her hand, she recalled Fahad’s true love for her. How can I ever doubt his feelings? She thought with flashes from the past months playing in her head. She took her mobile out of her handbag and started dialing his number slowly. Nervousness grew inside her with every press of the keypad and she started shaking. And just when she was about to press the call button, a girl walked in the studio.

“Hello Yara” said the girl. Yara observed the girl at first glance. She was petite, white skin, her hair was light brown, layered and reached up to an inch below her shoulders. She was wearing a short black dress with black stockings and a long woolen black jacket on top. “Sara?” said Yara. “Yes! You know me!” said Sara as they both walked to each other and kissed twice on each cheek. “Of course I know you! Glad to finally meet you, I heard so much about you” said Yara as she led her to the two armchairs. “Me too and I’ve been begging Fahad to introduce us for a while” said Sara. “I’ve seen you in pics but you look even prettier in real life” said Yara. “Thanks. How are you doing? It’s a lovely place by the way” said Sara observing the studio. “Thank you. Don’t you ever come to the café?” wondered Yara. “Not really. It’s lack of time, and when I do have the time I’d rather go somewhere lively or new. I also try to stay away from the family business” explained Sara. “So I’ve heard” said Yara smilingly. “I think that you know why I’m here” said Sara sweetly. “Hhmm, not sure?” said Yara hesitant. Sara laughed, “I know that guys are horrible when it comes to explaining. So I’m doing my brother a favor, not that he knows that I’m here” said Sara. “It’s fine. I’m finally starting to let go of what happened” said Yara. “But we owe you an explanation. I’m really sorry. I was against delaying from the beginning, but you know mothers.” Said Sara. “I understand. I just wish that he didn’t lie” said Yara quietly. “He didn’t want to, trust me. He argued with my mum about it and he tried hard to push her to go. But she won. My mum has a strong personality. You see she and Fahad are close to each other so he would never upset her” said Sara. Yara smiled and stared at the floor. “I’m not pushing you to forgive him or do anything against your will. I just felt that you deserve an explanation. And be sure that he loves you a lot. I haven’t seen him fighting for someone in years” said Sara. “But where will this take us? Will our families be ok with each other? Will the marriage work with both families uncertain about each other?” wondered Yara. “Of course it will. Those are normal disputes. If it means anything, it only means that your marriage is normal!” said Sara with a flashing smile. “Thank you so much. I really feel much better now” said Yara.

“She’s such a nice girl! I’m so happy that I met her. Things will be easier now” said Yara as she called Nadia and told her about the flowers and Sara’s visit. “I’m glad to hear that but I need to steal you right now. I’m picking you up and we’ll go work on my shop. I have so much to do and I really need your help.” Said Nadia. “Yeah sure I want to get busy anyway” said Yara. “Get out, I'm only three minutes away” said Nadia.

“So when are you planning to contact him?” asked Nadia once she picked up Yara. “Soon, today but not now” said Yara. “Why are you still delaying it?” wondered Nadia. “I want to be completely clear headed when I call him. And I want to be sure that I am fine with what happened. So I better wait for Sara’s words to erase every single doubt or fear I had in my head” said Yara. “But what if he calls you before that?” asked Nadia. “He won’t. She said that he told her that he won’t push it and will give me space” said Yara. “That’s good. Shows maturity and understanding” said Nadia.

Nadia and Yara spent the whole day working on Nadia’s shop; Receiving deliveries, hanging and re-arranging items. They didn’t get a chance to have a lunch break so Yara called Pizza Hut and ordered one large Super Supreme that they had to eat between all the cartoons and packaged stuff. And by the time it was 7pm, they both were extremely exhausted and they decided to continue what’s left the next day. All day long, Yara was thinking of all the things she’d tell Fahad once she calls him tonight. And the conversation was repeated several times in her head with modifications everytime she thought about it.

When Nadia was driving Yara back to the studio to pick up her car, they saw an ambulance speeding with the Siren on. And as they parked infront of the studio, they noticed a bunch of people standing outside the café with the waiters. Yara went down and walked hurriedly in concern to the waiters, “What is going on?” asked Yara scared. “It’s…Mr. Fahad” said the waitress in panic with her hand on her mouth.

Chapter 13.. Lie

2011-01-20T00:11:00.000-08:00

“HE’S PROPOSING”, screamed Yara in excitement as soon as Nadia picked up the phone. “What? Who? What? FAHAD?” gasped Nadia in shock. “Yes yes yes!! Can you believe it?! I have no idea what’s going on!!” said Yara very excited. “Oh my God. Oh..my..God.. YOU’RE GETTING MARRIED” screamed Nadia in disbelief. “My tummy is hurting. I’m so nervous I wanna throw up.” Said Yara in panic. “This is huge! What happened? TELL ME!” demanded Nadia. “It was all very sudden! He called and said that his family is visiting a day after tomorrow to propose!” said Yara. “A DAY AFTER TOMORROW!!” said Nadia in shock. “I know I know don’t make it worse!” said Yara nervously. “We have so much to do tomorrow. Where shall we start!!!!!” wondered Nadia. “I haven’t even talked to my mum yet!! This is the worst part. If I pass this everything else won’t matter!” said Yara worriedly. “What are you waiting for! GO TALK TO HER NOW!” ordered Nadia.

At the same time..

“Mama, it’s for you” said Tamara after picking up the house’s land line. “Who is it? I told you a thousand times to always say that I’m not available!!” said Sajida in anger. “It’s not family don’t worry. It’s your Kuwaiti friend!” said Tamara and left as Sajida walked towards the phone. “Hello?” she answered. “Hello Sajida. Shloanech?” said the Kuwaiti lady. “I’m good. How are you? How is the family?” asked Sajida. “All are fine. How are your daughters?” asked the woman. “Great 7amdilla. Haven’t heard from you for a while. Where have you been?” asked Sajida. “Wallah my sister wasn’t feeling so well. And we’ve been back and forth between Kuwait and Beirut. She’s seeing a doctor there” said the woman. “Oh. Ma3elaiha shar” said Sajida. “I saw Yara, your daughter, few months ago in Beirut. You never told me that she got engaged!” said the woman. “Engaged? But she isn't!” said Sajida in confusion. “How come? I saw her there with a guy!” said the woman. “He must be her friend’s brother or cousin” said Sajida confident. “I don’t think so. They were holding hands! That’s why I thought that she got engaged” said the woman realizing the situation. Sajida felt so embarrassed that the sitting room suddenly felt as hot as a sauna. “I’m sure that it wasn’t her! Maybe it was someone who looked like her” said Sajida. “No, I know Yara well. And if she was in Beirut back then, then it must be her!” said the woman. “Ooooh. Now I know. Remember my friend Afaf? The Minister of Works wife? Her son Haitham proposed to Yara a while ago. It must be him. Yeah yeah I’m sure that it’s him. They are seeing each other behind our backs!” said Sajida covering up and faking a laugh. “That makes sense and it’s good news. You got yourself some pretty well-off in laws” said the woman impressed. “Yeah they are getting to know each other now.” Said Sajida relieved that the woman believed her. “Congratulations. Inshalla things work out smoothly between them” said the woman.

Yara walked out of her room quietly and nervously to find her mother sitting on a sofa with her hand on her cheek. “Mama, I need to talk to you..” said Yara. The mother turned around and stared at her in anger, “who’s the guy that you’ve been seeing?” she asked straight forward. “What guy?” said Yara shocked and frozen where she was. “Shame on you! WHO IS HE?” screamed Sajida with her anger growing. “This is.. what I wanted to talk to you about” said Yara scared. “Now? After everything that you’ve already done?” said the mother sarcastically. “I haven’t done anything mama” said Yara. “You haven’t? What about walking around Beirut hand in hand!” screamed Sajida in a louder tone. “He is proposing!” said Yara cautiously. “WHO IS HE? ANSWER MY QUESTION” screamed Sajida. “His name is Fahad. He’s a very good guy and he comes from a good family.” Explained Yara shaking. “A good guy won’t allow himself to have a relationship with a girl behind her family’s back!” said Sajida. “Back in the 50s maybe! It’s the 21st century! Very 3adi” said Yara sarcastically. “How do you know him?” asked Sajida curiously. “He owns the café next to the studio” said Yara. “Aha! No wonder you almost live there!” said the mother. “It’s been few months mama!” explained Yara. “You know how I married your dad? His mum chose me for him. And we only dared to speak to each other after the melcha!” said Sajida. “And I don’t want to end up like you!” said Yara disrespectfully. Sajida took two fast steps to Yara and slapped her roughly on the cheek.

Silence.

“I love him” said Yara with her hand on the slapped cheek. “Let’s see where this love will get you!” said the mother daringly. “Nothing will stop me from marrying him!” said Yara in tears and went back to her room. “Over my dead body”, screamed Sajida with her voice echoing around the house.

“She’s angry now. Give her some time and she will come to you and discuss it all over again” said Fahad on the phone. “You don’t know her at all then. Once she sets her mind on something then there is no going back” wept Yara. “Don’t cry. Please don’t cry. It was just bad timing” said Fahad regretfully. “I don’t know who told her! Someone saw us in Beirut” said Yara. “We should’ve been more careful” said Fahad. “I don’t wanna stay here tonight. I can’t. I have to get out of this house!” said Yara firmly. “Where are you going at this hour? Stay where you are. Tomorrow you’ll all calm down and things will change” said Fahad trying his best to comfort her. “Why can’t you understand? Nothing will change! It’s either we get married behind her back or not get married at all!” said Yara in frustration. “Behind her back? What are those crazy thoughts?” said Fahad shocked. “It’s the only way!” said Yara. “Yara, baby, you don’t know what you’re saying now because you are upset. Don’t think about it. We’ll find a solution tomorrow. Don’t you worry, it’s impossible for us not to end up together!” he said. “I’m not staying here tonight! I’m going to Nadia’s house, her parents are out of Bahrain” said Yara as she opened her cupboard and picked a random outfit. “You are not leaving this late and in this condition!” said Fahad firmly. “I’m sorry but I’ll have to. I can’t listen to you this time.” said Yara. “Wait then, I will come and drive behind you till you get there!” said Fahad.

Yara pulled her small pulley bag and headed to Tamara’s room. She opened the door to find her on her bed with her laptop on her lap. “Can I come in?” asked Yara. “Sure. What’s with the bag?” asked Tamara as she stared at Yara’s pulley bag. Yara closed the room’s door, walked to bed and sat next to Tamara. “I’m sure that you heard me and mum arguing” said Yara. “Mhhmm.” Answered Tamara casually. “Did you figure out why?” asked Yara. “No and I don’t wanna know” said Tamara with her eyes fixed on the laptop screen. “OK. I’m leaving to Nadia’s house now. Are you OK with being alone in here with her?” asked Yara. “Do I have any other choice?” said Tamara rudely. “Things are a bit complicated now Tamara. You have to be patient. You are used to me being there for you all the time and there is a possibility that I might be getting married soon” said Yara and her heart dropped as she mentioned this and realized it. Tamara ignored and typed something on the keyboard with a smile. “I will always be there for you. But you have to learn how to survive on your own too. You’re not a baby anymore and you have to be responsible.” Said Yara and got a missed call from Fahad as a sign that he was outside. “I have to go now. She will be very frustrated and firm with you but you know how to deal with her. Bye” said Yara as she got up, took her bag and walked out.

Fahad drove all the way to Nadia’s house behind Yara. They didn't speak to each other on the phone, each of them was drowned in his own thoughts and worries while driving. But when Yara parked her car infront of Nadia’s house she walked to his car and he opened his window. “Thank you for driving behind me” she said. “The least I could do to protect my fiancé” said Fahad and smiled. Yara started crying all over again when he said that. “Please don’t cry 7abeebty. Everything is going to be just like we want it” said Fahad and held her hand through the window. “You took me by surprise. I didn’t expect this!” said Yara between sobs. “It’s nice no? Unexpected is nice!” he said trying to cheer her up. “And it didn’t last for long. My mum killed it” she said crying. “We’ll find the right way to make it happen. We’ll get married, have our own little house, and our own little kids” he said still holding her hand. Yara smiled with all the tears. “The girl will be just like you, stubborn and high tempered. But the boy will be as handsome and cool as I am” he said jokingly and Yara hit his shoulder. “Yalla go inside and don’t think negatively. Think of how to convince your mother, and of all the beautiful days to come” he said.

“Who are we kidding? She will never accept!” said Yara as she dropped her body on Nadia’s bed after changing her clothes. “Yes. She never will. And that’s why we have to think in another way. Sajida’s way”, said Nadia. “I’m really nervous, I don’t have a good feeling about all of this. The bad thoughts are exceeding the good ones” said Yara. “But you know what? I liked the element of surprise” said Nadia. “Typical Fahad. All this time I was wondering if he ever thought about marriage. I had a feeling that he was scared since he is divorced and that really stressed me. I was hanging on, loving him and being a good friend to him but I always asked myself ‘what’s next?’. Of course I never had the courage to ask him that.” Said Yara. “I love his mysterious ways of getting to you. Coming to Beirut so suddenly to tell you that he loves you, and now proposing out of the blue. It’s cute” said Nadia. “I love him. I really do. And I can’t see myself without him or with anyone else” said Yara. “I think I have an idea” said Nadia and got off her bed. Yara watched her with attention as she picked up a note book and a pin from a drawer and came back to bed. “What are Sajida’s priorities in life?” asked Nadia as she lay on her tummy. “Money” said Yara and Nadia wrote it down, “OK that is priority number one. What else?” asked Nadia. “Status or position” said Yara. “Aha” said Nadia as she wrote that down. “Luxury? Or is that related to money too?” said Yara. “Hmm. No harm in writing it. What else?” asked Nadia. “She’s a show off. She hates communicating with normal people. She befriends rich people..” said Yara. “OK. Now, how can we make Fahad’s family look attractive to Sajida? Let’s start from the beginning, money.” said Nadia. “They own several businesses. They are doing well but not so rich.” said Yara. “OK but we’ll have to twist that to Sajida. We’ll tell her that they own that and that etc. We could talk to her about their cars and house. And lie about them owning real estate or something” suggested Nadia. “You’re smart!” said Yara and laughed. “Next. Status. Hmm, anything in mind?” asked Nadia. “She won’t care that he’s got MBA. But we can say that he’ll eventually become the owner of all family businesses when his dad retires. His mother has her own cook books and her name is well known. She’s an active woman” said Yara. “Excellent. What about the father? Is he a member in the Parliament or Shoura council?” asked Nadia jokingly. “No. But I remember Fahad mentioning that he’s a member in Bahrain Chamber of Commerce once” said Yara. “Excellent. I think that should be enough to fill Sajida’s ego” said Nadia. “But don’t forget that the reason she got upset is because we’ve been seeing each other behind her back” said Yara. “Come on. She will get over that the moment we display all those attractive information to her. She will even get over that fat ugly Haitham of hers” said Nadia.

Just when Nadia turned the light off and they were about to sleep, Yara received a BBM notification:

Fahad: Where is your dream honeymoon destination?

Yara: Wow you’re still dreaming lol

Fahad: America or Australia?

Yara: Can we not jump to this now? We don’t wanna get disappointed later.

Fahad: I think Australia is better since we both have never been there.

Yara: Inshalla we’ll discuss this at the right time..Me and Nadia have a plan..let’s hope it works.

Fahad: Did she find out that you left the house?

Yara: I don’t think so. Or she did and didn’t care as usual

Fahad: Sleep now and things will get better tomorrow

Yara: Good night..love you

Fahad: Night dear

The next morning, Yara and Nadia woke up early and headed to Yara’s house to take action on their plan. They found Sajida having breakfast on the dining table with a piece of toast in one hand and a mug in the other. “Good morning auntie” said Nadia as she walked to her and kissed. “Nadio! Where have you been!” said Sajida roughly. “I was out of Bahrain. Shloanech khalty?” asked Nadia sweetly and sat next to her. “What is this news I heard about your divorce! I’m upset with you” said Sajida as she tightened her silky navy blue robe without paying any attention to Yara. “I’ll find someone better don’t worry” said Nadia jokingly. “You better do!” she said and took a bite of her toast. “Auntie can you allow me to discuss something with you?” asked Nadia politely as Yara took a seat. “Ahhh. I’m about to have a headache! I can feel it coming so make it brief” said Sajida carelessly. “Auntie we know that it wasn’t right for Yara to see someone behind your back. But as long as he is proposing maybe you should give him a chance and…” said Nadia and Sajida interrupted, “It’s either Haitham or no one else!” she said coldly. “But what if this guy is better than Haitham?” asked Nadia. “There is no one like Haitham” said Sajida confidently. Yara stared at Nadia with a disappointed look. “That would be a loss then. You didn’t even ask who’s son is he!” said Nadia. “Who’s son is he?” asked Sajida curiously. “Fouzia Abdul Ghaffar. I’m sure you know her!” said Nadia. “Oh. Fouzia! I know Fouzia!” said Sajida astonished. “Yeah. I’m sure you know her husband too. He’s well known” said Nadia and winked to Yara. “Yes. Yes. They own several companies!” said Sajida. “Yeah. And Fahad is highly involved in all of them” said Nadia. “Aha. Interesting. Where do they live?” asked Sajida. “They have a huge villa in Saar” said Nadia. “How old is he?” asked Sajida. “Hmm 31?” asked Nadia looking at Yara. “32” corrected Yara quietly. “Please think about it auntie. He’s a good catch” said Nadia. “He is!” said Sajida thinking deeply. “Yesterday they requested to come and see you tomorrow. Meet them. What will you lose?” asked Nadia. “Tomorrow? So soon! I gotta go get ready now!” said Sajida and got up. Yara and Nadia looked at each other gasping in excitement. “So can we confirm to them that the timing is ok?” asked Nadia. “Yes yes” said Sajida walking away.

Yara and Nadia ran to each other and hugged, “I told you it will work!” said Nadia in excitement. “I can’t believe this! I can’t believe that it’s happening for real!” said Yara with teary eyes. “OK. Let’s not panic! But where do we start!!!” said Nadia freaking out. “I gotta call Fahad first! Then we go look for a dress!” said Yara and rushed to her phone. Nadia’s phone rang at the same time. She reached for it to find an international number that starts with +44. “London?” she thought and picked it up. “Hello?” she said cautiously. “Nadia?” said a familiar, warm and manly voice. “Yes..” said Nadia shivering, realizing who it was. “It’s me, Mohammad” said the man. “I know. How can I not know..” she said quietly and nervously. “Nadia, why didn’t you tell me that you got a divorce?” asked Mohammad sounding upset. “Why would it matter” said Nadia, still shocked. “Of course it matters!” said Mohammad. “No. It doesn’t. Why are you calling me Mohammad?” asked Nadia, firm but tense. “Seeing you wasn’t easy on me Nadia. And when I heard about your divorce..i dunno..i felt a strong urge to get in touch with you” explained Mohammad. “Why?” asked Nadia again with a happy heart that was strictly controlled by sense. “I missed you..” he said. Nadia took a deep breath and swallowed all the joy, “Please don’t call me Mohammad. It’s not right!” she said straightforward. “Don’t get me wrong, please.” He said. “You know very well that I’m not the kind of woman who’ll accept to catch up with her ex who’s still married!” she said with her heart shattering. “When I heard that he cheated on you, I went mad. I felt like finding him and breaking him into pieces” said Mohammad angrily. “It’s over now. Just like we’re over. You have a lovely family Mohammad so don’t ruin it.” Said Nadia. Mohammad remained quiet and took a deep breath. “Please delete my number. Good bye” said Nadia and ended the call. She felt a strong weight on her chest and tears started streaming down her face as she placed her phone in her hand bag. “Heyyy are you crying?” asked Yara as she ended her call with Fahad and walked back to Nadia. “I’m just too excited for you” lied Nadia and wiped her tears.

“Yumma, tomorrow is confirmed inshalla” said Fahad smilingly as he entered the living room where his mum and sister were sitting with the TV on. The mother remained quiet as he sat down. “What’s wrong?” he asked. “I’ve been asking around about the family. And to be honest with you, I didn’t hear good things about her mother. Everyone is saying that she’s a gold digger” said the mother with a concerned face. “I know that. Her mother is not exactly the perfect mother in law. But it’s unfair to Yara. She is nothing like her mother” said Fahad. “That’s right mama, it’s unfair to judge the girl by her mother. Every family member has a personality of his own nowadays” said Sara supporting her brother. “I’m not judging the girl, but she comes with a package. They are going to be family after all. This lady is going to be the grandmother of your children! You are my only son Fahad, you already have one failed marriage and I don’t want you to suffer again!” explained the mother. “She makes me happy.” said Fahad briefly. “And I want to see you happy my son. But I’m not feeling comfortable about this for some reason” said the mother. “What really matters is that they make each other happy. Anything else could be dealt with” said Sara. “I think that we should wait. Tomorrow is too soon. It’s better if we postpone, ask more about them and pray for the best” suggested the mother. “It’s inappropriate mama. We already told them that we are going” said Sara. “We could come up with an excuse easily. Tell them that I’m not feeling well or something” said the mother. “You should go Yumma. Meet them and see how it goes. Maybe you'll feel comfortable after that” said Fahad. “But if we go things will get official. You told them that we are going to propose, Allah yhadak bas. I wish that you only said that we are going to get to know them better” said the mother. “So what now? You made up your mind? You’re not going?” asked Fahad frustrated. “It’s better to wait. Talk to her and tell her that I’m not feeling well. And we’ll see what happens later” said the mother and Fahad got up and left the house angrily.

After heading to the office and getting distracted with some work, Fahad called Yara without really planning the conversation in his head and thinking of how or what to tell her. “Where are you?” he asked. “I’m in Saks trying on a dress for tomorrow.” She said excitingly. “Ehh. Do you like it?” he asked hesitant. “Not much but Nadia is saying it’s really nice” she said. “Listen, there is no need to rush. My mother woke up today with the flu and I don’t think that she’ll be able to leave the bed by tomorrow.” Lied Fahad. “Oh poor thing! What happened so suddenly?” asked Yara concerned. “I don’t know. It happens. So seems like we’ll have to postpone tomorrow till she gets better. Is that OK?” He asked. “Of course! Actually I’m glad that we’ll have more time to get prepared!” said Yara relieved. “Great then, I’m sure that it’s for the best” he said.

“Now how am I gonna tell my mum?” wondered Yara after telling Nadia about it. “I’m sure she’ll be glad to have more time too” said Nadia. “She’s a Virgo!! She hates change of plans” said Yara. “Oops. Let’s distract her with something else then. Like ask her to come here to see the dress” suggested Nadia. “Don’t think it will work. I really wanna try and fix my relationship with her though. It won’t be appropriate to be married and keep treating each other this way” said Yara. “Why don’t we take her somewhere nice to dinner tonight? This could be a start” suggested Nadia. “You think?” asked Yara thoughtfully. “Yeah. I’ll book a table in Trader Vics and you call her and tell her” said Nadia. “No! You will call her! She listens to you but she never listens to me” said Yara. “OK, but that would be the last time! Starting tonight you will do all the talking!” said Nadia. “Deal!” said Yara.

The three ladies entered Trader Vics looking their best. They were seated and the waiter handed them the menus. Nadia and Yara started going through the menu while Sajida was looking around and scanning the place to check if anyone of importance was there when suddenly, someone caught her attention. “Isn’t that Fouzia?” asked Sajida squinting her eyes. Both girls looked at the direction where Sajida was staring and to their shock, it was! “Oh my god! Isn’t that Fahad’s mum?” said Nadia. “What the hell? Did she heal that fast!” wondered Yara. “And you’re telling me that she’s sick in bed!” said Sajida in anger. “I’m sure that she got better. There is no other explanation” said Yara confused. “There is! Maybe he lied to you!” snapped Sajida and removed the napkin from her lap, threw it on the table and stood up. “Where are you going?” panicked Yara and held her arm. “I’m going to introduce myself! And let’s see what she got!” said Sajida and moved a step forward. “No no no please mama please” said Yara and stood in her way, “sit down and I will talk to Fahad. No need for dramatic scenes in public” said Yara and got her to sit down.

Yara stared at Fahad’s mum with confusion and concern. The mother was wearing hijab, a silk maxi skirt and a shirt. She was with two other women who were clearly her friends. Yara decided to have this dinner quietly, enjoy her mum’s company for a change and deal with Fahad afterwords. But she couldn’t help worrying and considering the fact that her mother might be right and that Fahad could be hiding something. There was something fishy going on and she sensed it. And she secretly messaged Fahad and asked him to meet her in the studio in an hour.

Once Nadia dropped Yara and her mother home, Yara had to come up with an excuse to leave the house and go to the studio. Her mother was tired by now of all the complaining she made in the car about Fahad’s mum. So when Yara lied about having to go to the studio at this hour to lock the back door, she didn’t argue that much.

“Hi” said Yara as soon as she got into Fahad’s car that was parked infront of the studio. “Ahlain. You look good!” said Fahad. “Thanks. Guess who we saw tonight in Traders?” said Yara. “Who did you see?” asked Fahad interested. “Your mum!” said Yara with a forced smile. “Oh!” said Fahad in shock. “Bahrain is so tiny.” Said Yara. “Yeah” said Fahad with his head lowered. “Fahad. Are you hiding anything from me?” asked Yara. “Why do you think so?” asked Fahad quietly. “You canceled on us tomorrow because, supposedly, your mother is sick in bed. How can someone who was sick in bed this morning be dressed up and dining out with friends?” said Yara wondering. Fahad took a deep breath “I’m sorry..” He said in embarrassment. “So you lied to me?” she asked in disappointment. “I had to.” He said. “Fahad, I want the whole truth, right now. Please don’t hide anything or lie. Please” she said in frustration. “She needed more time. She thought that it was too soon and she..wasn’t feeling comfortable!” said Fahad hesitant. “I don’t understand. Not feeling comfortable about what?” asked Yara confused. “Yara. It’s normal. These things happen with every proposal. She just needs more time to ask about you and your family and I can’t force her not to. She’s my mother after all” said Fahad. “She was OK with it! What changed her mind so suddenly?” asked Yara. Fahad remained quiet. “Does this have anything to do with my mum?” asked Yara. “Kind of” said Fahad calmly. “What do you mean kind of? TALK!” said Yara getting angrier. “She asked, about your family, and no one gave her any good feedback about your mum” said Fahad hardly speaking. “Unbelievable!” said Yara shaking her head. “I tried, I tried so much to tell her that you have nothing to do with her and how different you are. But.. she wasn’t feeling comfortable and she wanted to wait” explained Fahad. “She’s my mother Fahad! What do you mean I have nothing to do with her? No matter how awful she could be, she is my mum! And accepting me means accepting her as well!” snapped Yara. “Well, excuse me if your mother has a bad reputation! There is nothing I can do about it!” said Fahad rudely. “What the hell are you saying? This is all you can do? Lie to me and then tell me that my mum has a bad reputation?” said Yara hurt. “What do you want me to do? Really, tell me. Tell me if you can think of anything that I can do about it!” he said sarcastically. “If you really want me..you’ll know what to do!” said Yara and left the car upset.

طريق الشمس

2011-01-19T04:47:00.000-08:00

حلم قديم.. قهوة سوداء.. ومعطفٌ قد خانه برد الشتاء
كان يوماً مظلماً..وممطر..نسجت فيه تراتيل حلمي القديم.. كعجوزٍ بشعرها الأبيض.. تتأرجح على كرسيها وتحيك صوفاً بإبرتين.. لسنواتٍ وسنوات

كل شيء..في تلك اللحظة..كان أسود.. قهوتي.. معطفي.. السماء.. وحلمي.. وها قد مضت سنوات عمري..و آمالي.. وكل ما كان ملوَن..و زهري..وأصفر
كرهت المطر.. والسحاب..والبرد.. وتمنيت ان يأتي غدٌ مشمس.. بأمل..وتفاؤل..وحياة

واستيقظت اليوم.. أحارب ثقلاً يمنعني من النهوض.. فتحت ستارتي لأرى كل شيءٍ رمادي.. السماء.. والبيوت.. والأشجار
يوم رمادي.. مابين أمسي المعتم.. وغدي المشمس
فاليوم أنا في نصف الطريق.. جمعت بقايا حلمي المحطم.. حملتها فوق كتفي.. ورحلت.. تركت لك سنواتي لتبدأ بها عمر جديد.. وأنا..سأواصل الطريق وأمشي.. وأمشي..في طريقي إلى الشمس

19 يناير 2011

Bonus Features 2

2011-01-16T05:12:00.000-08:00

My friend Raya came up with this soundtrack and i think that it's a waste if i dont share it. Here it is as she puts it:

at the start when yara started liking fahad she kept it inside her and when the girls talked about him she smiled to herself so this song is appropriate
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v5GF7ErBkDE&feature=related
lema egebo sertak

when fahad wanted to know if yara loved him or not and demanded to hear it from her
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=niz_yb0SORE&feature=related
aktr men rohi

after yara finds out about dalal and ossama, upset by their behaviour but totally in love with fahad
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d8EwjATvY3Y&feature=related
talomeni donea

ok slight diversion nadia after she sees abu khaled;)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z6durtBdO1U&feature=related
Estehala

Nadia after finding out about her husband then thinks back as to how she was exchanged for another wife by abu khaled - manaf cheating reminded her of previous failures
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NsK28dbRMP0&feature=related
Kerehtek

dalal after ossama tells her he likes yara:(
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Qyx6mq2tIA&playnext=1&list=PLCBAC1AE1CA90341E&index=3
hases bea

Thank you Rayoona xx

Chapter 12, Reverie

2011-01-13T00:17:00.000-08:00

When The Friday prayer in Adliya Mosque was over, Fahad walked out between the crowd and shook hands with different people here and there. While putting on his traditional slippers outside the mosque he saw Osama approaching him in a white Thoab but without a Ghetra, “Hey” he said and offered his hand. Fahad shook his hand, “Shakhbar?” he asked calmly. “Tamam” answered Osama. “Good that I’ve seen you. I owe you an apology” said Fahad as they walked down the steps. "I wanted to say the same thing to you. I’m sorry for all that mess. You were always a true brother to me and I should’ve reacted in a more mature way to avoid all this unnecessary drama” said Osama. “Yes, I thought about what happened and it’s not worth it at all. I think we’re too old for this,” Said Fahad jokingly. Osama laughed, “Very last decade” he said. “It’s sad that there are still people who try and cause problems at this age!” said Fahad. “Bad people make you appreciate the good ones. That is one benefit at least.” He said as they reached the parking lot. “Hey why don’t you come over for lunch? My parents will be happy to see you” offered Fahad. “Sure.” Answered Osama gladly and they both walked to their cars like two little school boys who made peace after a fight in the school yard.

“7aya Allah men yaneh” said Fahad’s mother as soon as Osama walked in the house. “Where have you been? We never see you like we used to before!”, said Fahad’s father. “The older we become the busier we get. I really miss your cooking khaltey” said Osama. “Then come on, let’s eat before the food gets cold” said Um Fahad.

Um Fahad was a typical example of a Bahraini housewife in her 50s. She got her diploma, started working for around a year and eventually gave up her career for the sake of her family. She was so famous for her excellent cooking, especially the traditional Bahraini dishes, that she published two popular cooking books. Nowadays, and after her son and daughter got old enough to take care of themselves, she started volunteering in non profitable organizations and spending her time between that and socializing like every other Bahraini woman.

“How is the business going?” asked Bu Fahad while having lunch. “It’s slow. Companies have no money to pay for branding and advertising nowadays” said Osama. “They rely on Facebook and Twitter. Free of charge and faster than any other form of advertising” said Fahad. “Give it some time. You’re still new and you really need to build a reputation for your business” said Bu Fahad. “Inshalla. Trying” said Osama. “How is your mother? It’s been a while since I last saw her!” said Um Fahad. “She’s good. Still addicted to her work in the Ministry” said Osama. “That’s good. She shouldn’t retire. One of the things that make Bahrain special is ladies like her. Being in high positions with high experience is something to be proud of”, said Um Fahad. “Yeah but it’s really stressful. The Ministry quality of work did not improve no matter how much they tried and it’s affecting her health” said Osama concerned. “She’ll quit when she feels like its time. But don’t try and convince her because she will only do what she wants” said Um Fahad. “How is work Sara?” asked Osama looking at Fahad’s younger sister. “Not so bad. Gets really busy sometimes but it’s quiet most of the time” said Sara. “I’m trying to convince her to join the family business. She wanted experience and she gained it. Now it’s time to join us” said Bu Fahad. “And Fahad would be my colleague? No way! We have enough fights at home” said Sara. “That’s right. Leave your brother alone and let him concentrate on his job” said Um Fahad. “Yeah Yeah defend him as usual” said Sara upset and everybody laughed.

“Ana3m Allah 3elaikum. Best Machboos in the world!” said Osama once they were done with lunch and were moving to the sitting room. “And now it’s time for Sara’s delicious dessert. I hope that you've left some space for that” said Fahad’s father. “You better did. I made cheesecake today!” said Sara. “See that’s why I don’t come here so often!” said Osama jokingly. Um Fahad came out of the kitchen carrying a trey with a tea set on it. “Now and that you’re all here, there is something that I want to talk to you about…” said Fahad.

Yara was lying lazily on her bed when Fahad called, “What are you doing?” he asked. “In bed, watching TV” she said. “It’s 4pm! Why so lazy?” he wondered. “I was up all night and Tamara woke me up early to drop her to her friend’s house. Couldn’t go back to sleep and now I’m just tired” she answered in a low lazy tone. “Why were you up all night?” asked Fahad. “I don’t know. Had a lot on my mind” answered Yara. “Share please!” said Fahad. “Don’t wanna talk about it” she said. “Talk!” insisted Fahad. “I was remembering the good old days. Things were different when baba was alive. True that my mum was always out of control but he had his way of keeping this family together and make everything seems normal and warm” she explained. “OK. What else?” he asked trying to get her to talk more. “The debts” she said. “Mhmmm. That’s what it’s all about then” he figured. “Yes and it is a big deal. A very big deal. It’s the worst feeling in the world, to owe people money” she said. “You’ve got to stop thinking about it and think of a solution instead” he said. “OK but not now. Please I don’t wanna spend the day thinking about it” she begged. “Then get up and do something” he ordered. “Yeah Nadia is back. I will go see her later” she said. Yara’s bedroom door was suddenly opened and her mum walked in, “Who are you talking to?’ she asked. “It’s Nadia!” lied Yara, “I’ll call you back” she said and ended the call. “I’m going out now, with Haitham’s mother” said Sajida. “And why are you telling me?” asked Yara rudely. “Because they are waiting for an answer and I’ve been delaying it as much as I can” she said. “I already told you my answer!” snapped Yara. “No. This is not an answer. I want the answer that I’m waiting for. Talk to the guy, what will you lose? You don’t even know him and you have no valid reason for rejecting” she said. “Good night mother. Have fun” said Yara and covered her face with the quilt. “You are your father’s daughter!” said Sajida and left the room frustrated.

“Welcome back. I missed you this time the most” said Yara while hugging Nadia. “Thank you but I’m glad that I wasn’t here” teased Nadia as she hugged her back. “I know, it was so chaotic” said Yara. “I’m not so shocked that Dalool is still doing what she’s doing. Her anger will only grow with time. She lost everything!” said Nadia. “Leave that now. Tell me all about Mohammed.” Said Yara in excitement. “Let’s get out of this room first. I need fresh air, let’s sit in the garden” said Nadia and they both left the room.

“Everything changed since I saw him.” Said Nadia as soon as they sat outside and asked the maid to get them tea. “What do you mean?” wondered Yara. “It’s a wonderful feeling. All the old feelings, all the old dreams suddenly came back to me. And it’s so freaky because I’ve been thinking about him since Beirut” she said. “Keefek Enta didn't do you any favors” teased Yara. “But of course, guilt is eating me alive. I shouldn’t feel all of that to a married man” said Nadia. “Don’t be silly. It’s just some old feelings that woke up inside you. It’s not like you are planning on making him cheat on his wife” said Yara. “Of course not. Never!” affirmed Nadia. “Then it’s nice to feel what you’re feeling. It was real. It was THE love story of your life and you will never be able to erase it from your system. So don’t feel guilty, just enjoy it while it lasts” said Yara. “I saw his wife!” said Nadia in disgust. “Oh my god. You saw Reem?” screamed Yara. “Yeah, she took him away, as usual. She didn’t see me though. At least I don’t think she did.” Said Nadia. “You think she’s still jealous of you?” said Yara and laughed. “How am I supposed to know? I only met her once few years back and she almost murdered me with her looks” said Nadia. “Very bad choice. He deserved someone better” said Yara. “Oh well. I think choosing my country over him was a mistake. If I could only go back in time, I’d leave everything behind and go with him” she said regretfully. “I agree. I was against it before and I didn’t encourage you to give up your life for him, but now and after all what happened with Manaf, I think that you should’ve followed your heart and not your brain” said Yara. “Na9eeb” said Nadia faithfully. “What a coincidence ha!” said Yara. “I know sub7an Allah. What brought him to my way?” wondered Nadia. “Everything happens for a reason” said Yara. “So what could the reason be? Seeing his cute son that was supposed to be mine?” said Nadia sarcastically. “Maybe it was to skip the ugly Manaf era and make you re-live the good old love” joked Yara. “I can’t explain the feeling. I was shaking. Shaking from head to toe. And I was so nervous that I didn’t know how to react and stood there looking so stupid” said Nadia. “It’s normal. And I’m sure that you didn’t look stupid” said Yara. “He said something before he left. It brought me back to life after years of being dead” said Nadia dreamingly. “What did he say?” wondered Yara. “He said, you look as beautiful as you always did..” said Nadia with her eyes glittering. “Aaawww. He still has feelings for you!!” said Yara. “No, not really. He also said that he was happy that I got married” said Nadia in disappointment. “Of course he’ll say that. What do you want him to say? It was a figure of speech kind of thing” said Yara. “Doesn’t matter. Each one of us moved on with his life” said Nadia sadly and Yara suddenly started singing, “7obbek fy galby M7ammad, ya 3yoony ya 7amoody”. Nadia laughed, “You’re insane” she said as the maid came by and served them tea.

“I’ve been thinking about your idea, the joint venture of our business” said Yara while she and Fahad were going through the sales records of the exhibition. “And?” asked Fahad. “I think that we should go for it.” She said without hesitation. “What makes you think so?” he wondered. “After the exhibition I realized that I need more exposure. I need my work to be displayed to the public. Maybe it’s time for me to go to the public instead of asking them to come to me” she said. “I’m glad that you finally think so” he said. “I’m happy with the exhibition’s results. What I have sold in three days at the exhibition is what I normally sell in around four months at the studio!” she said. “Then we have a lot of work to do beautiful lady” he said. “First let’s deal with all the payments. All the exhibition’s income will go to that man we owe BD10,000” she said. “Don’t you want to wait till you get the full amount?” he suggested. “I think it’s better to pay him now and then pay the rest when I have it. It will be easier for me and for him I guess.” She said. “OK. Do whatever you think is right.” He said smilingly. “Thank you. What would I do without you?” she said and patted his hand.

Santosh entered the studio with several frames in his hands, “It’s ready madame” he said and placed the frames on her desk. It was a collection of all press releases about the exhibition in both languages. Each press release was framed in a separate frame. “Excellent!” said Fahad amazed as he went through them. “Where shall I hang them?” she asked. “I say wait till we plan the merger. A lot of changes will be made” said Fahad.

The door opened and Osama walked in. Yara was surprised to see him but Fahad smiled welcoming him. “Osama?” said Yara confused. “Osama had lunch with us at home yesterday. And he wanted to have a word with you” said Fahad. “OK” said Yara confused. “Yara, I’m sorry for everything that happened. I’m sure that deep inside you know that I meant no harm” he said. Yara looked at Fahad and then back at him. “As long as you two cleared things up then I have nothing to be upset about” said Yara. “We’re too old for this teenage drama” joked Fahad. “Totally agree” said Yara. “Let’s celebrate by having coffee. Coffee on the house!” said Fahad sarcastically as the three of them made their way to the café. “Santosh, You too come and take whatever you want” said Fahad happily.

“I have a question for you Osama” said Yara once they were having coffee. “Shoot” said Osama. “When we were back in University you were engaged right?” asked Yara. He looked at Fahad and they both giggled. “Not exactly! I proposed to someone and it was official so the news spread” he explained. “Oh, so there wasn’t a melcha or anything?” asked Yara. “No, thank God” said Osama and he and Fahad laughed again. “What’s with all the laughing?” wondered Yara feeling stupid. “It was a mistake. We were young and I thought that she was really the one. She turned out to be a cheap slut” said Osama and they laughed once more. “We thought that you were married. But then Dalal said that you’re divorced” said Yara. “That’s what SHE said” said Fahad and they all laughed. “I can’t believe how people love to talk and gossip. 90% of what we hear everyday is false news” said Osama. “It only means that you are an important person.” Said Yara. “I am that indeed” said Osama jokingly. “Well. You were one of the most popular guys back then” said Yara. “Ayam. So who had a crush on me back then?” asked Osama. “Everyone but me” said Yara proudly. “Excellent, excellent” said Fahad laughing.

“If you want to make it to the movie we have to make a move now” said Osama to Fahad. “What will you do?” asked Fahad looking at Yara. “I’ll finish some work at the studio, pick Tamara up from her friend’s house and go home.” Said Yara. “Let’s go then” said Fahad. “That was nice! We should do it more often” said Osama. “Yeah. And one day we’ll find Dalal sitting under our table” joked Fahad. Osama laughed loudly while Yara tried so hard to hide her laugh, “You guys are mean” she said with a laughing face. “Regards to Nadia” said Osama as they went on separate ways.

Yara was organizing her desk when she got a phone call from Tamara, “When are you coming?” asked Tamara. “I’m leaving now, I’ll be there in 10 minutes” said Yara. “Her mum is asking you to come in” said Tamara. “Oho, why?” said Yara annoyed. “I don’t know. She said she wants to meet you” said Tamara. “Ufff. This is your mother’s job! Why do I have to socialize instead of her?” said Yara angrily. “Bye”, said Tamara and didn’t give Yara a chance to continue complaining.

The maid seated Yara at the formal sitting room. The mother then came, greeted and welcomed her, “It’s good to finally meet you. My daughter talks about you all the time and how much she envies you” said the mother. “That’s sweet. I love Fatima a lot” said Yara. “They’ve been good friends for long, Fatoom and Tamara, and they visit each other all the time. But I have never met your mother and I see you with Tamara more” said the mother. “Yeah” said Yara embarrassed without giving any explanation. “My husband used to know your father Allah yer7ema. He met him few times. And I know your aunts, your father’s sisters. You know in Bahrain it’s a good thing that we all know each other” said the mother. “Yeah. True.” Said Yara. “But yet I have never met your mum or seen her anywhere with her in laws or with Tamara.” Said the mother digging for explanations. “She’s a homey person” said Yara politely. “Aha, and even when I ask Tamara about her she never gives me any answer. She just smiles. So I just wanted to check if everything is ok or if you need anything?” said the mother sweetly but with hidden curiosity. “Thank you very much. I appreciate it” said Yara. “What would you like to drink? Tea? Coffee? Juice?” offered the mother. “Thanks I really have to get going.” Said Yara and got up. “You’re welcome anytime to visit my dear. Regards to your mum” said the mother and shook her hand, “I will call Tamara for you now”.

“I don’t know what’s going on with me!” said Nadia while talking to Yara on the phone. “What’s the matter?” wondered Yara. “My mind is not with me. I’m dreamy and a million thought cross my mind every minute” said Nadia. “Is it about him?” asked Yara. “Yes. I really wish that I hadn’t seen him. Suddenly I’m depressed and angry. Thinking of all the ‘what if’ questions and imagining scenarios of what might happen next” panicked Nadia. “Are you out of your mind? What might happen next? The guy is married with a kid! You just met by coincidence and that’s it!” screamed Yara. “But there must be a reason why our paths crossed after all those years” said Nadia. “I can’t believe you. How come you didn’t think this way when you agreed to marry Manaf? Or when Mohammed asked you to leave your whole life here and go with him? You were always the mature one who thought with her brain. What’s happening to you now?” wondered Yara in anger and shock. “I’m telling you I’m going insane. It’s really painful. I want to go back in time and say yes to him. What was I thinking marrying that cold boring man who even cheated on me!” said Nadia in an annoying whiny tone. “Listen to me. Go have a warm shower, read Quran and try to get some sleep.” Said Yara. “No no no I can’t sleep.” Said Nadia in panic. “I said TRY. You will go crazy with all those stupid thoughts. Just do something about it please. Fahad is calling, I’ll talk to you later. Bye” said Yara and went for the other line.

“Hello” answered Yara. “Hey gorgeous. How are you?” asked Fahad. “Stressed. Really!” said Yara annoyed. “What happened?” asked Fahad concerned. “I’m just tired of covering up for my psycho mum!” snapped Yara. “But that’s nothing new!” said Fahad. “That’s the thing. I’m getting fed up. I feel like running away so she starts being responsible” said Yara. “Talk to her. Try in different ways if she doesn’t listen. Find out a secret door” said Fahad. “I was put in a very embarrassing situation tonight because of her and I also had to deal with my best friend who is losing her mind!” said Yara annoyed. “OK. Calm down please” said Fahad sweetly. “I can’t. Too much frustration for one night” she said. “Yara, darling, I need you to calm down right now” he begged. “OK. You’re right. I’m sorry. How was the movie?” she asked trying hard to switch moods. “Leave the movie now. Are you at home?” he asked quietly and nicely. “Yes, in my room!” She answered. “Is your mum home?” he asked in that same tone. “Yes! Why?” she wondered. “Is your sitting room organized and clean?” he asked again with that same tone. “Fahad!!” she said annoyed. “I want you to go out of your room now, go to your mum, tell her that the sitting room should be properly organized, and most importantly, to book herself a day after tomorrow” he said. “Excuse me? What are you saying?” wondered Yara in confusion. “I’m sending some women over..” he said jokingly. “Fahad this is really not the time!” she said angrily. “Yara…I’m proposing to you…a day after tomorrow….” He finally said..

سلام

2011-01-10T00:19:00.000-08:00

أيقظني حلمي ذات صباح.. أيقظني من سباتٍ طويل..في صباح يومٍ جميل.. فيه شمس..وطيور..وأزهار.. وأدركت أخيراً..انه قد ولّى ليلي الطويل..بهزائمه..وسواده..وشحوبه

في ذلك الصباح..لم أقرء الجريدة..فقد أخبَرتني أنت أن الحياة وردية..وأن الحلم يأتي..مهما تأخر..ومهما طال الوقت..حلمنا سيأتي..وغدنا يستحق الإنتظار..فما حاجتي بباقي الأخبار؟ وما حاجتي للجريدة؟

حتى صلاتي صارت أخشع..في ذلك اليوم..ودعائي صار أعمق..وحمدي..وشكري لربي صار أكبر..فأنت استجابة

لتهجّد..وتضرّع..وقيام..وصبر

اليوم أغشاني سلام..وطمأنينة قلبٍ خائف..خانته الأحزان والأحلام..اليوم أهدَيتني سلام..سلام في نومي..سلام في صمتي..و سلام في

الكلام

9 Jan 2011